AIBU to keep a neighbours parcel and open and keep it for myself?

[RoseRedder]

Parcel arrived on the 2nd of January

it was a delivery that the delivery people put it under there doormat

I took it in in case of theft

We live in flats

I put a note threw their door

It's not been collectected

can I open it and keep it now?

Not you too Antlers Clearly I haven't lived.

Knock knock
Who's there?
Ida
Ida Who?
Idappreciate you not answering so I can keep your parcel. x

Knock knock
Who's there?
Ben
Ben who?
Bendover so I can look at your bald patch.

Knock knock
Who's there?
Teresa
Teresa who?
Teresa green and so's the scone another 29 days later

yabu

Jokes, have you escaped from the circus?

Oh and cream THEN jam on top. it's the only way.

I stole a parcel once. My postman is crap and delivers all kinds of post belonging to other people at totally different addresses. In December I got a parcel addressed to the right house number and road, but wrong town and postcode, through my door. Fuck it, I'll open it, I thought. Might be something exciting.

It was a fancy dress used car salesman wig :D

That'll teach me.

Rose, I don't think you meant to be a wee tea leaf, you are more of a "nuisance trying to be helpful". You sound sweet with your cheesy scones, so instead of the police, I will be sending a "Porridge" DVD to your door. Let that be a warning, Scone Lady. Of What Could Happen.

Dear OP

You have made me laugh on what it turning out to be a fraught night

Thanks

Tall sadly i'm institutionalised my bed
Beavie ask the OP for her address - her neighbour's in dire need of that wig...

jokes you are too funny! I'm crying. This thread has cheered me right up. Thanks everyone!

Surely a bottle of shampoo would not have 'slipped' under a doormat? Is it a camel pack of 'poo?

just in case in one is interested

The box was still on their doorstep at 10 am this morning so I brought it back in. The scone had gone but I suspect the drugde dealers dog eat it

There is however a happy ending.

The female neighbour knocked on my door about 4pm to pick up it.

They had been getting married and been out the country for the last month (they'd gone back to Germany for ceremony and honeymoon)

She was very grateful i'd kept it safe for them although I did make an fool of myself

So all's well that ends well

Still a mystery though, she has the most amazing thick black swishy chest length hair and he is as bald as coot?

I read that as 'black swishy chest hair' Rose.

Me too !

And me! It conjured up a startling image in my mind .

to be honest I thought she was the police.

I nearly offered her both hands expecting to be handcuffed for interfering with parcels and theft

Phew, thank goodness for that. I bet you didn't even look dodgy or anything.

Did you give her another cheese scone though, to make up for the one that the drug dealer's dog allegedly ate?

no that would have been odd

I don't know it was the drug dealers dog who eat the scone

It may have been the drug dealer himself having the munches

Or the postman .....who knows

It was gone though

scone...gone.

"no that would have been odd."

I really fancy making some scones now.

Could you pass on your cheese scone recipe please?

I know Coumarin, I didn't want to be the one to laugh after Rose has been so funny and nice and answered all of our nosey questions.

I wonder if the scone thief put the jam or the cream on first?

Oh sorry, it was a cheese scone, missed that.

Anyway, cream goes first.

cuttedUpPear

put loads of flour in a bowl then add butter massage for 10 mins then grate cheese (you must grate it throwing an an actual solid block of cheese in will not work)

add a bit of milk roll it out stick it oven the oven and hope for the best

wee bit salt and pepper and bobs your uncle