to fee ever so sad about this?

[shockedandupset]

We had parents eve/mock results day today, and my DS did astoundingly badly. He is a clever boy, has a tutor for several subjects (who considers him A/A* standard, which is where DS thought he was). His results were Cs and Ds.

To hear his teachers speak was like discussing another child. Their attitude was he might get a B if he works hard - but that won't be enough to get him onto A level courses.

DS is now doing extra work in his room, I am in tears and have been since I got back from the school. I just can't believe it. It felt like a horrible dream as I sat there with them all telling me what a failure my DS is. I feel heartbroken :(

I can see why you're disappointed, but there is still time to turn this around. An increase of 2 grades is def achievable between now and the summer.

Ditch the uni student tutor and get an olderore experienced one who specialises in GCSE tutoring.
Work out why he didn't do well - poor exam technique/lack if revision/lack of fundamental knowledge or understanding etc
Show support and positivity to your son - get him on board with a plan of action and try and make home life as easy and nice as possible eg he does his 3hoirs of revision and you cook him a nice meal and let him watch what he wants on TV before bed.
Pick the two subjects he is most struggling in and book him onto an Easter crammer course. Expensive but worth it.

I agree with both hackmum and longtalljosie.

My own top tips:

• Dont leave him to work through revision books on his own. Far too easy for him to think he understands something if he cribs and looks at the answers.
• Dont just look through past papers - have you got the model answers and the examiners reports? You can use these to find out exactly what the examiner is looking for not everybody's best guess
• Teach him good exam technique - time management, how to optimise marks

I understand what you mean about the school. We have a Hobson's choice of one and it is also unambitious. Their aim is to get your son to 5 Cs. You need to fill the gap.

It is hard work but totally doable.

Now dry your eyes. It is a bright new day.

Stupid question but if pupils now have to stay on at school till they are 18 what happens to those who do not achieve the dizzy heights of A's and B's to get on an A level course?

I thought people only said Uni in Neighbours. Never mind B snobbery, that gives me the shits.

Mimsy, yes you're right. I did well at school, my parents encouraged but never pushed me, never helped me with homework or stood over me while I did it. I never had a tutor, I went to a terrible school but did well despite that. And everyone has always said 'well you did it, why can't DS?'

We do need a plan. I'm going to talk to the tutor tomorrow and see what he says. He has only been tutoring DS since November, it may be that the areas DS struggled with in the exam are ones they haven't covered yet - or not in enough detail. I think from what DS tells me there was a combination of lack of knowledge/understanding (in sciences) and lack of revision.

I do feel the message I largely got from the school was it's too late to do anything (but you're getting Cs which is fine). I am relieved to know it's possible for him to improve as much as he needs to in order to do A levels (assuming of course he gets offered a 6th form place).

Not sure if anyone's said this yet as haven't read the whole thread but have you considered exam technique? It can mean the difference between a C and an A in some cases, it's not enough to just know the stuff. I assume your uni student tutor isn't an expert in GCSE exam technique because he's not a teacher - it's worth paying a bit more and getting him a qualified, experienced teacher as a tutor.

Annie, those who get lower grades either go to the not so good 6th forms (although even in DS's current school I believe they expect a B at GCSE in your A level subject choice) or mostly do vocational type courses, either at 6th form or college.

Shocked, boys are notorious for maturing later than girls in terms of realising how important study skills are in doing well in exams. However, once they do get it, it can make an enormous difference.

I think it's a really important point Pansonfire made which you picked up on. If he was a 5a across the board at primary school, the expected outcome would be As and A*s at GCSE in at least some subjects.

My children are older now. so I'm out of touch with this kind of thing, but it used to be the case (a decade or two ago) that some of our local comprehensives pushed very hard to get as many pupils as possible up to a C because that was what counted for the league tables. If a very bright student got a B when with more effective teaching and/or harder work they could have got an A or A*, well, that was a shame but it wouldn't show up in the league tables, so they weren't that bothered. I know parents who found this incredibly frustrating because they were trying to push their bright but rather lazy children to do better and felt that they were not getting as much support from the school as they needed.

I think it may be different now because target-setting and league tables have become a lot more complicated and Ofsted look at this kind of thing in detail. Teachers, would Ofsted be concerned if a school was getting 5a year 7s who left with all Cs at GCSE?

When I was teaching it was expected that students would do much worse in mocks than in the real thing. What happens with mocks is that very bright pupils are complacent and think,"It's only mocks, they don't matter." They are then surprised when they do badly. Some teachers would even under mark such students to give them a shock. It works too. We would expect a two grade improvement in the real exams because the students would work really hard to prove they could do it. Mocks are marked by the teachers in the school, they aren't using, or often even aware of, the standard used by the exam board.
If your ds is bright and able and he works hard from now on he may surprise you. Advertise for a tutor who is, or has been, an examiner in the relevant subjects. A uni student only knows what grades he fot, now how to hep someone else achieve those grades.
Good Luck.

And following on from thegreylady - there are worse things than doing badly in your mocks because you didn't revise. Like doing one of your A Level mocks with hideous flu and still getting a high A, then getting a B in the real thing because you thought it was in the bag

Josie - in my case it was getting a high A in history A level mock, and deciding I didn't need to do any revision on the English Civil War (despite it being major part of the syllabus) because there were no questions on it in the mock, and clearly I had an A in the bag...ah, the overconfidence of youth! (ended up with a B).

I think a few of the remarks on this thread towards you shockedandupset have been uncalled for. You are shocked and upset, understandably - doesn't mean you don't love him and aren't proud of him. If you're a single mother the burden of running both your lives without the emotional and practical support of a partner is really hard at times - it's all on you shoulders and sometimes you can get things out of perspective. I don't think you're ashamed of him at all. You only want him to perform to his full potential like any parent.

How many subjects is he doing and which ones? Also which ones does he need A or A in to study it at sixth form in the new place? Some things you could do are drop a subject completely - either formally so he has a bit of free time in the week to concentrate on other subjects or informally by putting an irrelevant one on the backburner that he doesn't devote much time to. Secondly, do double science if he's doing triple and if that's not needed for his A levels and career path. I don't see the point of triple if you're not going down that science route. I think better 7 good GCSEs than 10 or 11 not so good ones so concentrate on what's needed - Eng Lang, maths, double science, a language, a humanity and maybe one other. Most places require 6 A to C grades. Even private schools round by me say 6 A* to B grades.

Next I'd get a shit hot tutor. I don't think a uni student at this stage cuts it. You need someone with lots of experience of the current GCSE curriculum and examining board. Don't plan any holidays away between now and the GCSEs so half term and Easter holidays will be largely devoted to study. Saying that though time off is also important.

He's had a shock. You've had a shock. I really don't see how you can't get his results up to A/B by summer. There is time. Moreover I'd go and speak to the sixth form. If he got mainly As and Bs in 7 subjects with possibly a B for one of his A level subjects you might be able to convince them that on the whole he's a bright boy that will be capable of the A level course despite the B. They might think that overall he's done well and could be flexible. I'm absolutely sure he can improve on this. Ignore totally the teacher that said he would never do better than a D in that subject.

One last thing I've a friend who has put 2 kids through GCSEs and A levels. When the mark has been just below the higher grade she's paid for a remark and has had good success with this. Including for A level which meant the difference between Cambridge and somewhere else. All is not lost. As long as you know he's done everything he can and you've done everything you can in supporting that I'm sure you'll accept and be happy with whatever he gets.

A uni student is nut an appropriate tutor. They need some extra cash so will tell you anything!!
I've got A levels and a degree in subjects I wouldn't dream of tutoring in so having done the exams himself does not qualify him to do it.
I would be getting a proper tutor.
I understand that you are upset, I think people who are having a go at you for that are being unfair. You expected one thing and got another but you might need to get your head around the fact that your son is not capable of getting the grades you hoped for. He might not get A's but with the right support he can get C's or B's, which will be fine for Uni etc.
Please don't let your son see you are so upset, I can clearly remember my Mum being really upset at my B for maths at GCSS and that was almost 30 years ago!!!
We do need to push our kids to achieve their potential but that poetential is different every time and isn't always being very academic.

Shockedandupset, I feel your pain. I cant understand why other posters need to kick you when your down.

I think predicted grades are the problem here. No child should be predicted a grade for GCSE and the sooner they stop them the better IMO.
Your son, like any normal child probably thought he could take it easy as the A* was already in the bag.
I would look at the mark schemes for all the exams. He might have lost marks because he assumed the examiner knew what he meant. He needs to write like the person marking the paper is an idiot. (this is something that bright children find hard to do)
I would try to focus on one subject per month from now until study leave.
Mocks are marked much higher than real GCSEs so dont worry. He is probably Bs and Cs rather than Cs and Ds.
You have a good 5 months to cover the gaps so its certainly doable

Look, you need to be very honest with yourself about your sons abilities and come to terms with that. He has NOT failed anything and moping about will not change the fact that he needs you to help him maximize his actual potential.

I was told I would fail science and Maths and get C's if I was lucky in everything else. After one teacher basically put her foot on my neck to get my coursework done I came out with all A's and B's. My mum told me that I should do the best I could and she would be proud no matter what. She was so thrilled with my actual results she cried. That is the right place for tears.

I'm very surprised that you had no idea of the level he is capable of before the parents evening? You say you've had no parents evening since year 9 when he was mostly at C grade and yet on some basis you believe he is capable of As now? What made you think so?

And on that basis, he's researched competitive university courses that he is unlikely to be able to access with his grades.

You need a different plan - but a loose plan - for this newly recognised scenario. One where he can take A levels with the grades he's likely to achieve - so not the colleges that needs A or A* to progress. As you need to look at university courses which require lower grade A levels - there are loads of great courses out there at good unis which lead to good jobs. Not Russell Group or Oxbridge, but good unis never the less with happy, high achieving students. If you could point him in that direction, we would feel better about his prospects ad realise that it's horses for courses and that lack of access to one route doesn't make you a failure.

Op - my ds1 has done the same. His target grades are A*/As, however he has missed his targets in every single subject apart from history.

He had a shock last summer when he got a C in core science - target grade an A - so I saw this coming. I think his problem is that he has always done enough to be in the top sets, but has not stepped it up a gear in Yrs 10 & 11. He has a different attitude to ds2 who wants to do his best and be the best(this causes its own problems!), ds1 wants to do enough!

So, he knows he has to put more effort in if he wants to reach his targets. He knows he can still do it. I am not a mother that stands over him telling him to work. I encourage him, but don't nag. It is up to him. It's just a shame as I don't think he is reaching his potential.

However, I was not devastated or crying. Perhaps you need to face the fact that he might not get in to this sixth form and have a contingency plan. He really shouldn't see you crying over mock results - imagine how he must feel and that is not a dig at you, but I think you need to pull yourself together!

If you are crying about it, how do you think he feels?

This is part of what mocks are for anyway, now he knows how hard he has to work.

I suspect one reason shockedandupset has been hard hit by this is because she feels she has let her son down. She hasn't, but I can see why she would take it that way.

We are all guilty of putting our hopes and dreams into our children. You only need to read MN education pages to see the pressure kids are under.
It is a shock when you have been led to believe your child is top and then be hit with the realization that they are actually behind 5 months before GCSE.
This can hugely affect his future. Most schools expect A* at GCSE to study academic subjects for 6th form.

The problem with applying to other 6th forms is that most have strict distance criteria. We have already applied to the nearest 6th form which doesn't require A/Bs (although they still require all subjects at C or above, and a B in A level choices), but there is no guarantee we live close enough to get in. Aside from his current school, which he does not want to stay at, all other schools with lower requirements are much further away, so less chance of getting in. Plus we are well past the closing date for applications.

Also I know when I did A levels some 25 years ago, it was generally considered there wasn't much point doing an A level in a subject unless you got an A at GCSE (this was long before A* grades). So it doesn't surprise me at all schools would have this requirement.

Dont worry my DC went from a C to an A* in the months between mocks and GCSEs it can be done if they put in the work.

YANBU and you haven't let him down! It is possible to turn things around. My DH failed most of his GCSEs (due to un diagnosed glandular fever) and was asked to leave school. After a spell at the local supermarket he thought eff this, and went to a bog standard six form college, got great exam results, then went onto get a 2:1 degree, then a masters.