to fee ever so sad about this?

[shockedandupset]

We had parents eve/mock results day today, and my DS did astoundingly badly. He is a clever boy, has a tutor for several subjects (who considers him A/A* standard, which is where DS thought he was). His results were Cs and Ds.

To hear his teachers speak was like discussing another child. Their attitude was he might get a B if he works hard - but that won't be enough to get him onto A level courses.

DS is now doing extra work in his room, I am in tears and have been since I got back from the school. I just can't believe it. It felt like a horrible dream as I sat there with them all telling me what a failure my DS is. I feel heartbroken :(

[FootieOnTheTelly]

I have three kids at Uni and one in the middle of A'levels - it has never crossed my mind to do some of the things suggested by some posters on this thread. I will help them access additional help (revision guides or tutors if they had wanted) but I wouldn't of dreamt of helping them with revision plans or getting involved in their actual studies
At 16/17 their studies are their responsibility. I provide a supportive warm home environment and I 'facilitate' their studies but it's up to them if they want to work.

[amothersplaceisinthewrong]

Not sure I would be continuing with the tutor. Maybe your son is NOT A* standard..... but that is not the end of the world.

[Tuhlulah]

Wow, I see you've attracted some really nasty comments. Bit unfair. I understand what you mean about feeling you failed him. I would have cried too, and for the same reason - not because you think he is a failure but because you believed someone else said he was and that it was unjust. you both had a nasty shock and you feel hurt for him, not because you are living vicariously through him or think he is a failure.
I see you have been given some good advice about revision plans etc. I don't have any advice, but I hope you lavish lots of love and praise on him, and then work out a plan.

My DS is very bright but it doesn't always translate onto paper very well. His standards are appalling. He under performs and that upsets me, that he doesn't accurately reflect what he's capable of. It's a fine line between creating stress and providing impetus. He did really well in his recent tests at school but, half way through the exams we had the most appalling health scare, and that puts it into context. I don't mean to sound dramatic or patronising, but a load of high marks don't compensate for a sick child.

I think confidence is important and so is exam preparation because there are things that you can work on.
Maybe later you can get some feedback from his school papers to see she he went wrong, to see if its technique or lack of knowledge.

Good luck to your DS.

[Rabbitcar]

I think your son will have had a shock and will hopefully get his act together and work harder now. And I think you're a great mum. I'm sure being a single mum and working full time must make dealing with these things so much harder, so I'm impressed. You're committed to his best interests, which is surely a good thing. Don't listen to the mean comments up thread; I think you're great.