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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be angry at DP for giving me chlamydia?

165 replies

MrsDrRanj · 25/01/2014 17:13

I have been seeing DP for around a year now but it's been very off and on, and on the times when it's been off I knew he had been sleeping with other people.

We're together seriously now and on Monday morning he went to the sexual health clinic, and rang me to say he has chlamydia, said he felt really bad etc. He watched DS for me so I could go down to get treated that same day as I wanted to get it sorted ASAP.

Of course I'm upset that it happened, it's a horrible feeling. And him being with other girls upset me but that's something we worked through. I knew he had been with other people when I slept with him so I am also responsible.

My friends and mums reaction have all been angry towards him, and shock that I'm not angry too. The general consensus is that I'm being a bit of a mug.

AIBU

OP posts:
TheOrchardKeeper · 25/01/2014 17:16

What if he'd given you aids.

He could've.

SirChenjin · 25/01/2014 17:18

There's any point in being angry - what's done is done. He's slept about, not worn a condom, picked up an STI, slept with you, passed on the STI, now you're both being treated for chlamydia. If nothing else it will make you both take your sexual health more seriously - and you might want to think about whether he's the sort of bloke you want hanging about.

MrsDavidBowie · 25/01/2014 17:18

What an odd post.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 25/01/2014 17:19

Er....if he was sleeping with other people, why were you having unprotected sex?

I think you're right not to be angry with him. He made it clear he was sleeping with other people but you made a considered decision to have unprotected sex with him. rearrange words Downfall. Of. Architect. Own. Your.

RandyRudolf · 25/01/2014 17:19

Did you not use protection knowing he was sleeping around elsewhere?

I think if you sleep with someone who sleeps around you will also have a risk of STIs.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 25/01/2014 17:19

Leave the bastards, even if you're not angry about the STI, be angry that he sleeps around. You deserve better.

Original poster
MrsDrRanj · 25/01/2014 17:19

orchard yes and that would have been awful, but i slept with him knowing the risks so would I really be right to be angry?

OP posts:
TheOrchardKeeper · 25/01/2014 17:20

(Agree. If you knew he was doing that then why on earth would you risk catching something worse by not using anything)?

AnUnearthlyChild · 25/01/2014 17:20

Let's hope that's all he has given you

AnyFucker · 25/01/2014 17:20

If you knew he had been sleeping around you should really have not slept with him until he got the all clear

and vice versa

hopefully both your treatment will be successful and you can move on

but what happens when he sleeps around again ?

usuallyright · 25/01/2014 17:20

why did you tell your mum and friends that you have chlamydia?

Original poster
MrsDrRanj · 25/01/2014 17:20

He wasn't sleeping around when we were together, but I was aware he had seen other people when we were apart, although I didn't know it was also unprotected but didn't ask either. Obviously I know it was stupid of me, which is why I don't feel angry towards him.

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 25/01/2014 17:21

No, you wouldn't be right being angry - but why on earth are you not taking your sexual health more seriously? Hmm

TheOrchardKeeper · 25/01/2014 17:21

Agree that you can't be angry with him as you were both irresponsible STD wise.

But why would you put your health/life at risk knowingly? Confused

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot · 25/01/2014 17:21

You cant be angry over it because you knew he had been sleeping with others and still choose to have sex with him.

Maybe now its time have a discussion together about your sexual health, ie when your together and times when your not, its treated now, but STI can leave long term damage.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 25/01/2014 17:21

Why on earth weren't you using a condom?

I'm also not sure I would have broadcast my sexual health (or lack of) to my Mum and friends but there we are.

He must be a bit of an idiot though to shag about without using protection. He could have caught anything - and potentially fathered numerous children!

SybilRamkin · 25/01/2014 17:22

Eh? You told your mum and friends? Not sure that's going to help you in the long run if this relationship goes the distance...

Branleuse · 25/01/2014 17:22

I'd be furious with myself for being so stupid

Original poster
MrsDrRanj · 25/01/2014 17:22

I don't need a lecture about sexual health lol, I made a stupid mistake and I'm glad I've found out sooner rather than later. I am close with my mum and a few friends to talk to them about that kind of thing - so shoot me!

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 25/01/2014 17:23

chlamydia can have long term effects on fertility

easy come, easy go though, eh ?

Leverette · 25/01/2014 17:23

This reply has been deleted

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harriet247 · 25/01/2014 17:23

I dont understand why you are telling all your friends and family :/

SirChenjin · 25/01/2014 17:24

You kind of do need a lecture on sexual health!

TheOrchardKeeper · 25/01/2014 17:24

Unless you're suicidal or not that keen on looking after your fertility then you actually do. It wasn't a mistake. You stated so.

HTH Hmm

TheOrchardKeeper · 25/01/2014 17:24
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