To not be angry at DP for giving me chlamydia?

[MrsDrRanj]

I have been seeing DP for around a year now but it's been very off and on, and on the times when it's been off I knew he had been sleeping with other people.

We're together seriously now and on Monday morning he went to the sexual health clinic, and rang me to say he has chlamydia, said he felt really bad etc. He watched DS for me so I could go down to get treated that same day as I wanted to get it sorted ASAP.

Of course I'm upset that it happened, it's a horrible feeling. And him being with other girls upset me but that's something we worked through. I knew he had been with other people when I slept with him so I am also responsible.

My friends and mums reaction have all been angry towards him, and shock that I'm not angry too. The general consensus is that I'm being a bit of a mug.

AIBU

I know that it can have long term effects which is why I'm glad I found out sooner!

I dont understand why you are telling all your friends and family

...and the internet community

You kind of do need a lecture on sexual health!

Indeed

You don't seem to value your health much OP and sorry but your (d)p clearly doesn't either.
I'm with your friends and your mum on this one, you're being a mug entertaining a relationship with someone who doesn't give a crap about you.

Every cloud and all that....now get him to stick a condom on next time, or see if you can find a better bloke

I'd be angry at dp for not using a condom with the other women he's slept with. To me that shows a complete lack of intelligence (either that or just total disregard for everyone's health including his own) and personally I don't think I could forgive him for being so stupid.

Um, you do indeed need a lecture on sexual health!

Tbh you are bloody lucky that it is something that is treatable and that you haven't been left HIV positive or with herpes or something.

YANBU to be angry at someone else for the choice you made to take a risk.

YABU to think a relationship like this is worth anything.

I didn't tell all my friends and family. I told my mum and two friends because we are close and talk about stuff like that. And mumsnet is anonymous.

You should be angry with yourself.

Based on your OP, this guy is not a DP, he is a boyfriend.
Goodness.

You know YANBU to not be angry (with him anyway).

So why did you post op?

No, I don't think you should blame him at all but you are incredibly ignorant.
Not because you accept him back after sleeping around but because you do not care enough about yourself to have responsible sex and take control of your health.
If it was worse, how would you have reacted? What will it take for you to realise the gamble you're taking?

MN confuses me ..... so what he slept around? He was single and can do that if he wanted to. Some people do it for fun, others to get over a break-up etc

It's also a joint responsibility to use protection. The women he slept with were seemingly ok without using a condom either.

Lesson learned - he should have been tested before but hindsight is a great thing.

And as you are in a serious and committed relationship I don't think a condom is necessary - the pill works fantastic for me.

If I started a thread saying - how many men have you slept with? So many women on here would be falling over themselves to answer and "show off" that its so many they can't remember. So the fact your DP is getting stick is laughable.

Are these two in a "serious and committed relationship" ???

HTS, you sound as daft as the OP

justhold - Sleeping around is fine if that's your thing but be responsible about it. If you can't then you're putting people at risk and being a selfish cunt tbh.

JHTS

We're not condemning anyone for sleeping around, we're just pointing out how important it is to use protection against diseases that may have lasting consequences.

Obviously this thread doesn't show him in his best light. Has nobody else ever made a mistake in their life? I know it was stupid and I feel lucky that it wasn't anything more serious.

We've all made mistakes - but he seems to make the same mistake over and over and over again. Is he aware of the existence of condoms?

We've all made mistakes, MrsD.

It's not a mistake though is it? You say you knew and risked it anyway.

Would you do it again with another partner?

And it sounds like your P hasn't learnt his lesson.

Orchard obviously not now I have learnt my lesson. In hindsight it was a mistake as it was a stupid thing to do, of course I didn't accidentally have sex with him.

I posted to ask if i was unreasonable for not being angry with him. I'm well aware of how stupid I have been, and as I said I'm grateful It's not something more serious.

Orchard why does it sound like that? He feels awful too, and agreed we need to have a serious talk about us and taking precautions etc.