To not be angry at DP for giving me chlamydia?

[MrsDrRanj]

I have been seeing DP for around a year now but it's been very off and on, and on the times when it's been off I knew he had been sleeping with other people.

We're together seriously now and on Monday morning he went to the sexual health clinic, and rang me to say he has chlamydia, said he felt really bad etc. He watched DS for me so I could go down to get treated that same day as I wanted to get it sorted ASAP.

Of course I'm upset that it happened, it's a horrible feeling. And him being with other girls upset me but that's something we worked through. I knew he had been with other people when I slept with him so I am also responsible.

My friends and mums reaction have all been angry towards him, and shock that I'm not angry too. The general consensus is that I'm being a bit of a mug.

AIBU

If you have had un protected sex with your partner, have you had this with other partners also?
If yes most people who have it don't know, so there is a possibility you could have passed it on to him.

Sleeping around is fine if that's your thing but be responsible about it. If you can't then you're putting people at risk and being a selfish cunt tbh.

But surely it's not solely his responsibility? The women he slept with hold 50% of that responsibility.

If you are both dumb enough to sleep with a stranger with no protection then you both equally face the risks. It's not about putting people at risk, it's about willing putting yourself to that risk.

The OP shouldn't have slept with him before he got tested, but now this scare has happened it will make them both think.

To answer your original question, no, you are not unreasonable not to be angry with him. You knew what he was doing, he never deceived you in any way.

Perhaps your mum and others just can't get their head around the sleeping round/no protection issue. Their problem, not yours. If you don't want them to lecture you it might be an idea not to disclose as much personal info in future.

It sounds like that because he knew he'd slept about but didn't value you enough to stick on a condom - unless he did, but you ripped it off, pinned him down and DTD anyway?

Is your partner making sure that all the women he slept with are also getting contacted ?

Kukeslala I haven't slept with anybody else for over two years, and had all tests done when I was pregnant so it didn't come from me.

All STI tests are not performed as standard during antenatal testing. That is a myth and will give you a false sense of security.

Awful daughter you have no idea of the ins and outs of our relationship other than this small unfortunate snippet, you really don't need to be so rude.

As for him 'not learning his lesson', now we have found out we have both had a shock and both feel stupid for being so careless.

Anyfucker I went to a sexual health clinic when I was pregnant

I think we know both parties have been irresponsible, there's no need for this thread to turn into a nasty judgy bunfight.

OK, fair enough. Sorry for jumping on you, but you do see some women thinking they get STI checks as part of standard antenatal care.

The tests are not standard when you're pregnant though.

I'm with the other poster who asked if he's contacted the other partners to let them know the good news?

I agree, Randy. OP asked a specific question and it is kinda veering away from that now. The point has been made

I didn't say they were? Yes he's contacted the other girl to let her know.

< equally as guilty >

JustHold no-one has 50% responsibility for anything in this situation. Each and every one of us is 100% responsible for our own sexual health.

It those other women are daft enough to have unprotected sex, then they have only themselves to blame. It certainly isn't their responsibility to look after the OP's boyfriend's sexual health. That falls to him and him alone.

The only time a responsibility is shared is once you are in a committed relationship. So from now on, the OP and her boyfriend have a responsibility to look after their joint sexual health by not going and shagging other people unprotected.

Both of you have been stupid but there is no point in being upset or angry about it now. The chlamydia has been treated and you were lucky enough not to get anything else.

MrsDr you have had a full check again though have you?

If OP really had no problem with all this, she'd never have posted in the first place.

So from now on, the OP and her boyfriend have a responsibility to look after their joint sexual health by not going and shagging other people unprotected.

But they weren't together when he "shagged" someone else.

And the responsibility lies with the OP just as much as her DP.

Yes kukes

You do realise that not all sti's show up straight away? Some come to light after a couple of months.
You might be lucky and have nothing else.

If he had any respect for you, he would have told you that he had unprotected sex. For that you should be angry.

Mrsdrranj, did you also test for h.i.v?.