To not be angry at DP for giving me chlamydia?

[MrsDrRanj]

I have been seeing DP for around a year now but it's been very off and on, and on the times when it's been off I knew he had been sleeping with other people.

We're together seriously now and on Monday morning he went to the sexual health clinic, and rang me to say he has chlamydia, said he felt really bad etc. He watched DS for me so I could go down to get treated that same day as I wanted to get it sorted ASAP.

Of course I'm upset that it happened, it's a horrible feeling. And him being with other girls upset me but that's something we worked through. I knew he had been with other people when I slept with him so I am also responsible.

My friends and mums reaction have all been angry towards him, and shock that I'm not angry too. The general consensus is that I'm being a bit of a mug.

AIBU

He watched DS for me so I could go down to get treated that same day as I wanted to get it sorted ASAP.

That is one of the saddest lines I have read on MN. For crying out loud woman, get your protection sorted out before it's something not so easily fixed.

He knows what he's been up to, he got himself checked out and he's taken responsibility and got you treated to prevent problems for you in the long term. Sounds like he's done everything he can, I wouldn't be cross at him if you weren't together continuously.

Talking openly about sexual health is a good thing IMHO, gets everyone thinking and if encourages others to get checked out so much the better.
It could just as easily have been you that gave it to him (and his other partners) you will presumably get your results and know this soon. You will have been treated immediately and together so you don't pass it back and forth.

Chlamydia is much easier to pass on than more serious STI's and much more common in

Only chlamydia?

Please don't trivialise a nasty disease that can cause a lifetime of damage.

Who said only chlamydia I don't have time to rtwt but OMG what a stupid statement.

Just to add, it is perfectly possible to transmit chlamydia with a condom. Touching with hands and getting it on the inside or outside of condom.
As for the HIV stats someone is quoting, they are true but it's still unusual for your average exclusively heterosexual British person on the street. The only way to know your status is to get tested, the only way to encourage testing is to talk about it. Hence why all pregnant women get offered routine HIV testing, anyone attending a sexual health clinic and in some areas of higher prevalence of HIV everyone admitted to hospital under a medical team and on registering with a GP. Window periods for testing have never been 6 months..generally 3 months but in reality modern testing reduces this even further. See www.nat.org.uk/our-thinking/prevention-and-testing/testing.aspx
And step down off my soap box...

Ok that's enough now, have a go at me for irresponsible actions in my sex life but it's really out of order to question my parenting choices. My boyfriend has been in our lives for a long time as a friend, regardless of what our status has been. My son is very fond of him and he'd come and see him even when we were not together.

I do trust him. He has not cheated on my and he has been honest about his actions when we were apart.

The comments about me being an idiot and Jeremy Kyle worthy were hurtful but implying that I'm irresponsible with my son is not on.

OP if you trusted him and felt he was honest - something most women would be happy with - then you'd get on with being happy & not post a concern about him on MN, then pretend its not a concern. People see through stuff like that. Either way - you can sit here till kingdom come getting defensive with posters...it still wont change anything. If you arent happy with what he's done and you can't tell him then its your call.

& actually - leaving your son with someone you've been with for a year, much of that year being 'off & on' as you've said in your post, does seem strange. Why would anyone be out of order to question that? You've put up a post you cant choose how people reply, unfortunately. Now you conveniently say, he is a long time friend. Others may feel your post is truthful. I dont...'shrugs' its an age old tactic on here, some women come on openly or passively complaining about their man then when they dont get the replies they expect, they eventually make him sound like an angel. & the story twists & turns.

The poster who's focused on people being over zealous about chlamydia - which is serious enough to cause infertility - & has completely missed the fact or feels its ok this man had unprotected sex with other women, then came right back and had unprotected sex with you - is as deluded as you are. You're allowing games to be played with your health, and your man's casualness re. unprotected sex could have dire consequences for both of you. Or perhaps its old fashioned to think about that.

Think I'll say goodnight to this jackanory...

i think you hae been lectured enough op

i would be angry that he had unprotected sex and then gave it to me, so yes, i would be angry.

fwiw, enjoy your sex life, if he is a bit of a fuck buddy on the side, if he isn't, dya know what, it doesn't matter this isn't victorian britain

It does matter if the OP sees him as a genuine DP and leaves her child with him. That seems a lot of trust to put in someone who hasn't proved himself at all trustworthy.

OP,

I'm sorry I got you mixed up with another poster with a similar user name.

Look after yourself.

Often when loved ones are worried about us, that fear comes out in anger. For example if our young child runs across the road, many mothers react with anger. They are actually sscared for the safety of their child. I suspect your mum and friends are doing the same.

All I can say about this is that this man is not serious about you.

If he was he wouldn't be seeing other people when you finished with him. He would be trying to sort it out with you/waiting for you to have him back again.

He is 100% not serious about you. He is using you.

I don't think it is good for you to let him do this. You need to wait for someone who wants you more than anything, and values you more than anything, and isn't interested in anyone else.

This guy sounds about 17.
So do you really - but leaving that aside, I think you should dump the twat before he makes you sorry you ever got with him. He's wasting you time. Concentrate on the little one, who needs your full attention, and stop letting this person walk all over your boundaries.