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Original poster

To ask my boyfriend to move in with me after six weeks!

246 replies

mrscoleridge · 21/01/2014 17:07

Hi

I have posted about my lovely boyfriend before. It was love at first sight and we more or less spent every day/night together since we met,
I am completely in love with him and want to ask him to move in, I have two kids 17 and 15 who like him a lot too. In fact he spent last weekend decorating the youngest ones bedroom!
I know it's far too quick really but it feels right. He gets on with all my family and friends too and makes a big effort to talk to them.

Please be gentle

OP posts:
formerbabe · 22/01/2014 09:18

One massive red flag for me in the ops initial post is when she says they have spent every day/night together since they met! I find that very strange...is he not busy seeing as he has his own business?!

I have friends who have had boyfriends and the guys are all over them/crazy in love/wanna marry them from day one...they were the biggest wankers of them all!

birdybear · 22/01/2014 09:22

I wish people like this would just write in the initial post- i only want people to reply who agree with me as i Will argue every dissenting point you bring up and won't consider anything against my plan.

moppymarker · 22/01/2014 09:25

BUT there were no children involved in either mine or my sis relattionships, now Ive read the whole thread, id be a lot more wary if i were you

good luck

flowery · 22/01/2014 09:32

This is one of those where regardless of what decision she makes now, the OP is going to look back in a few years' time and think "What on earth was I thinking?"

appletarts · 22/01/2014 09:37

I think you need to think as a mother first and a single woman second. That ought to give you the answer.

Fecklessdizzy · 22/01/2014 09:56

Don't! Six weeks is nothing! Friend at work met a chap on line, totally besotted, just " knew " he was THE ONE and moved him in after a couple of months.

He was one, and a total one at that. Still married to someone else, robbed her blind and really messed up her head. She was another strong, independant woman who knew what she was doing Hmm

If he's a keeper, he'll keep.

PiperRose · 22/01/2014 10:02

6 months ago I would have been screaming "of course it's too bloody soon", now 5 months into a wonderful relationship with an incredible man I have turned into a big ball of goo-y mush and can't wait for us to live together.

Also. My parents got married after 6 weeks. That was 43 years ago. They are still together and I've never heard them argue.

I guess when you know , you know.

gamerchick · 22/01/2014 10:05

Im all for people doing what they want if they have no kids in the mix.

I even say go for it if you've known the said dude for a long time previously.

but kids and brand new bloke mix I really would say wait until you know him better.

PleaseJustLeaveYourBrotherAlon · 22/01/2014 10:07

You're not acting like a grown up. By all means move in with someone get married the day you meet..if you haven't got children.

You have. How would you have felt at 15 if your mother brought some fucking random man in to the house after 6 weeks? That's early to even meet the kids let alone "Be part of the family" hope you're trolling. Because this is shit.

I can't see what the rush is.. if you love someone and it is forever then why can't you both wait?What's a year of waiting?

PleaseJustLeaveYourBrotherAlon · 22/01/2014 10:10

Also being an "educated woman" at what point in your education was "Basic relationships 101" discussed? Because I'm pretty sure the two are not related

IneedAwittierNickname · 22/01/2014 10:23

My ex moved in with his gf (and her dc) after a week, got engaged within a month, and pregnant 2 weeks after that.
14 months later they ate still together, but my 9 year old is having counselling to deal with his emotions :(
I've also recieved messages on fb from more than 1 of her friends who are worried about his behaviour towards her.

EirikurNoromaour · 22/01/2014 10:25

'When you know, you know' is one of the stupidest things I see trotted out on here. No, you don't, it's guess work. You can only 'know' with the benefit of hindsight.

fluterby · 22/01/2014 10:29

I wouldn't. A long line of bad experiences has taught me to thoroughly get to know someone (i.e. 2 years) before I combine my home or finances with them.

Also you kind of miss out of the pure fun bit of a new relationship if you start having to talk about shopping and bills straight off.

AnyFucker · 22/01/2014 10:31

"the heart wants what the heart wants"

add that to the list of ridiculous justifications for such impulsive and potentially disastrous behaviour

sorry, OP, I know you wrote that on another thread but fgs, you need to cop on to yourself

where have you gone, anyway ?

credence · 22/01/2014 10:34

Aah no, big red flags all over this, stop and think, put your kids' stability first and if it is meant to be then 6 months or a year won't make a bit of a difference in the long run will it? Maybe read Lundy Bancroft in the meantime too (and I am not being mean, you wouldn't come here and ask us if your gut wasn't trying to tell you something) Grin

PleaseJustLeaveYourBrotherAlon · 22/01/2014 10:39

ineedawittienickname how come they are coming to you? Are you all in a group of friends? Presumably your only answer to them getting in touch is "what you think it was my idea?" Hmm

glasgowsteven · 22/01/2014 11:29

What do your friends IRL think OP

If you see him every day, what about your relationships with your friends..
Does he have friends...

Stop reading twilight and live a grown up life...

:(

InternetFOREVER · 22/01/2014 11:37

If he's a keeper, he'll keep

Great phrase feckless

IneedAwittierNickname · 22/01/2014 12:23

Please no I don't know them, they were generally asking if he behaved similarly when we were together. I generally answered with facts about his behaviour, and "i hope she is ok, but I don't want to get involved"

Fecklessdizzy · 22/01/2014 12:35

I'm a paranoid bugger. DP and I hung out for years before he moved in. we'd both had bad experiences previously and wanted to check each other out thoroughly. Nothing good comes of dashing to shack up with someone.

Fecklessdizzy · 22/01/2014 12:38

... And I totally agree with whoever said make the most of the hearts-and-flowers bit of the relationship before you move onto the why-are-your-pants-in-the-middle-of-the-living-room-and-who-ate-all-the-biscuits phase ... Grin

twoteens · 22/01/2014 13:57

op my partner moved in with me and my two teens in the summer, after 2 years and although they really like him and him them it has taken a lot of adjusting on all sides. tougher then I thought it would be, but we had known each other long enough to ride it out.
enjoy having him as a boyfriend for now and you getting to know each other with lots of fun and romance ( and escape to his place for loud steamy sex) and build up a solid relationship as its a lot different when you are all permantly under one roof. (misses loud steamy sex)

Leverette · 22/01/2014 14:42

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Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
mrscoleridge · 22/01/2014 15:22

I have come back and have read through the whole thread
I have not mentioned anything to him at all at this stage.
As was pointed out I have had previous partners but have never rushed in before. I was with exp for four years but never lived together and before that was married for 19 years.
This time it feels different and I think there is some hysteria in the idea that every single man is waiting to prey on the daughters of single mothers.
He has his own place and we do go there when my daughters are with their father.

OP posts:
Annakin31 · 22/01/2014 15:50

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