To ask my boyfriend to move in with me after six weeks!

[mrscoleridge]

Hi

I have posted about my lovely boyfriend before. It was love at first sight and we more or less spent every day/night together since we met,
I am completely in love with him and want to ask him to move in, I have two kids 17 and 15 who like him a lot too. In fact he spent last weekend decorating the youngest ones bedroom!
I know it's far too quick really but it feels right. He gets on with all my family and friends too and makes a big effort to talk to them.

Please be gentle

[SilverApples]

Do you think the fact that you are an educated women of 47 is putting pressure on you to have a relationship with someone? So you don't feel sad and lonely when your children leave home in a couple of years?

[Nancy66]

I'm now thinking of all those stories of middle-aged women meeting men online who turn out to be complete con artists. Men they end up giving large sums of money to.

Take it slowly. if he is as wonderful as you say then he will be that wonderful in six month's time

[SilverApples]

I think you are right Dolly, I've always taken risks when the consequences fell on me alone.

[AnyFucker]

in OP's world only inexperienced, uneducated women get saddled with a loser

wrong

[DameDeepRedBetty]

OP If you want considered thoughts on this matter why did you post in AIBU?

[TootlesPootles]

Way, way too soon. It would be a silly thing to do.

[SilverApples]

So you don't think the OP is a regular on the relationships boards, AF?
Full of experienced, educated women who have found themselves in less than satisfactory situations.

[Kiwiinkits]

If one or both of your teens is a girl then NO WAY. He could be anyone, you hardly know him.

[AnyFucker]

I would have to say not, SA, or that she doesn't think it could possibly happen to her. Which would be foolish.

If I was an independent woman of means with a property to sell I would be scrutinising any potential live in suitors with a gimlet eye, that is for sure.

[patienceisvirtuous]

Hideously selfish when you have kids. Wait a year mininum!

[Kiwiinkits]

There are many examples of 'mum's boyfriend perved on me in the shower' or 'mum's boyfriend raped me'. Too much of a risk until you know all of the skeletons in his closet.

[waltermittymissus]

Don't be so ridiculous!

You're not in some sort of twilight-esque young romance here.

You have children to think about.

He's a good guy.

Because he painted a room?

You've even said in your OP that you know it's too soon.

[IneedAwittierNickname]

No way, its far too soon imo. If he's the love of your life/soulmate/whatever then you can wait

If one or both of your teens is a girl then NO WAY. He could be anyone, you hardly know him.
I dont think it matters if the teens are girls or boys, both sexes can be abused

[MrsLettuce]

If one or both of your teens is a girl then NO WAY. He could be anyone, you hardly know him.

Even if both DC were boys they could still potentially be at risk.

[MrsLettuce]

x post!

[SuperScrimper]

Good God no. Anyone can keep up an act for 6 weeks!

I thought you were going to be about 20 when I read the OP.

[nilbyname]

Have you met his friends and family?

Have you met his work colleague?

I'm all for the when you know you know, but you have vulnerable teenagers who are heading through stressful exams and so on, so there's more than just you to consider.

What would you tell your friend of she asked you?

[Mishmashfamily]

Don't do it.

If you are so solid waiting won't be an issue.

Have you talked about money, sharing the bills ect or was you going to deal with that when he unpacked.

If you cannot say to him now, " bf, you can move in but first you need to tell me how money you earn and we need to dirt the bills out fairly" then it is too soon.

Which you know it is. You could be inviting a complete arsehole to live where your kids sleep.
I

[trinitybleu]

No kids but OH and I lived together after 2 weeks (he stayed for the night after I had been burgled but never actually left again)

19 years later...

But with kids I'd be more cautious.

[gamerchick]

If you know it's a forever thing then you don't need to rush right?

Have him over as much as you want... enjoy that wanting to climb inside each other feeling. Enjoy having him there constantly. Just don't let him give up his place yet.

If you had had known him for years I would say go for it. You already know a fair but about a person.

A brand new relationship that burns fast needs to be slowed down a bit.

Enjoy that feeling though.. there's nothing like it

[BookroomRed]

Oh dear, OP, this sounds like the opening line in one of those Take A Break/Chat stories that always end badly... I hope it's not, but slow things down a bit. If he is all you say, he's not going to vanish.

[QuintessentialShadows]

Your teenagers, are they boys or girls?


6 weeks is way too soon.

I would be skeptical of any new boyfriend being so keen on my children....

[scantilymad]

If you've had a longer relationship with food in your freezer than you have with your partner it's probably a little too soon to move in together.

[MrsKoala]

I moved in with DH after 3 weeks. I was made redundant and homeless the same week and i had nowhere to go. We had no children tho. But given a choice neither of us would have done it. It really rushed the first part of the relationship and added stress where there shouldn't have been any. If we hadn't have had no choice, we never would have done it. I really wouldn't if i were you.

[MillyRules]

No, it is way way too soon. Has this man actually even asked to move in. I think I would be carefull as you might think your ready but he might not. He might be enjoying your company and then might completely freak out that you are moving too quick by asking him to move in. He might have never even considered it himself.

As others have said also you don't even know this man. He could be anyone. Can you really responsibly move a stranger in when you have children. You don't know his background other than what he has told you. He could be a monster!!! You just don't know yet.