Paid bar at christening?

[Littleturkish]

I think you cannot have a paid bar at a christening, DH thinks you can.

I've never ever heard of it, and would rather have a smaller party and invite less people. He thinks it's fine and I'm being ridiculous. DH agrees we won't do it as I feel so strongly about it- but I wanted to check I am right on this- have you ever heard of a paid bar at a christening and what would you think if you went to a christening that did this?

Oh and bunbaker large christenings are an excellent idea once all your friends who are likely to get married are married and the group of friends is scattered all over the country and doesn't get together so often these days (having previously been getting together for at least 2 or 3 weddings a year for the past 7 years) - having a christening as an excuse to party gets a lot more people agreeing to make the effort to travel than the not-particularly-special-number birthdays.

We had a big celebration because on each occasion we hadn't seen our friends for ages, it was a great way of catching up with everyone and our children's baptisms were important milestones in their and our lives that we wanted to share with our friends and family. We did coffee, teas and biscuits/cake in the church hall straight after the service so we could also celebrate with the wider church community then we had a party for about 100 at home. My point to the OP was that at each party, people ate a lot (people had 2nds and 3rds) but barely drank alcohol. This is how we chose to celebrate and share our happiness on our children's special days. Equally many people choose to have equally fun and special small christening celebrations. Everyone is different. Which is a good thing.

Bunbaker: "I didn't realise christening a were big like weddings"
Shandy: "people are different, some like big some like small"

Praise The Lord for people like Shandy?
Are people seriously this stupid and ignorant and judgemental?
Clearly so.
There are 100's and 100's of these threads on Mn.
If you want a small party? Great. Good for you.
If you want a big one. Fab. aswell?

You can appreciate that people are different and we don't all like the same things? Choose to spend our incomes directly? Choose to celebrate in different ways?

So why is this concept so hard for you to comprehend?
Bunbaker and others, how is this affecting your life , directly?
I'm sorry. I just don't get it.

I should go. I wonder why this subject 'gets my goat' so much?

Oblomov I think you are coming across a little judgemental yourself. I genuinely didn't realise that christenings were such a big deal these days and I don't find the concept so hard to comprehend. I have been present at loads of christenings at our church (C of E), and a handful of family christenings and none of them had huge numbers of people attending. I am only commenting from my own experience so stop the sarcasm please.

We can only comment on things that effect our lives directly?
This site would be veerryyy quiet if that were the case.
Do you actually know how the internet works?

Nothing wrong with a party for a christening, it's nice to see friends and relations isn't it?

I don't like paid bars though, I do think its a bit tacky. Much better to have some buffet food and wine provided. Appreciate not everyone can afford that, but I would at least make sure you had some bottles of fizz for one drink each.

I think I've only been to one wedding with a free bar, and all the Christening parties have been home events with tea and maybe a glass of prosecco. Free bars are more common at corporate events.

Our flat is too small to have everyone back here after my son's baptism so we're doing a party in a hotel with afternoon tea (tea, coffee, sandwiches, cakes etc.) and a cash bar.

I don't know what sort of world those who think it's anathema to ask guests to buy their own drinks live in, but it's not mine. Food is expected, yes, and at least something to drink, but not a bank-rolled piss-up.

If you do want to provide some alcohol, maybe give out tokens and limit what they can be exchanged for? Or have a strictly limited number of beer/wine bottles on a table.

Really depends on your own family some do some don't. I personally don't like people drinking at a christinging party so we have tea & a buffet afterwards usually in our home or at the church hall. There are many reasons for this choice religion, etiquette and the fact that I don't want it to turn into a full on party. Each to their own I suppose.