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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Paid bar at christening?

209 replies

Littleturkish · 19/01/2014 16:53

I think you cannot have a paid bar at a christening, DH thinks you can.

I've never ever heard of it, and would rather have a smaller party and invite less people. He thinks it's fine and I'm being ridiculous. DH agrees we won't do it as I feel so strongly about it- but I wanted to check I am right on this- have you ever heard of a paid bar at a christening and what would you think if you went to a christening that did this?

OP posts:
BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 20/01/2014 01:07

I think it depends on lots of things. If I was epxecting 15 people to turn up I would probably invite them back to my own home, if I had room - and would expect to cover the cost of all food and drink myself. If I had invited a large number of local people I would probably lay on tea and cake in the church hall. If I had a large number (more than I could accomodate myself) from a distance I would hire a function room, provide food and possibly one drink on arrival, but then expect everyone to pay for extra drinks themselves.

LittleBabyPigsus · 20/01/2014 02:08

DrNick erm mileage in the sense of 'what works for you'. Obviously not car mileage Confused

common internet acronym

Ifancyashandy · 20/01/2014 02:43

Not sure I want to be associated with that attitude so bye bye Ifancyashandy.

That's to fancyashandy btw.

MadIsTheNewNormal · 20/01/2014 04:48

I'm in Ireland, our christenings (and all the family ones I've been to) have been a meal in a hotel/golf club paid for by the parents and a paid bar. Now I should say, this tends to start at 1.30-2pm after late morning mass and go on till 4.30-5, so it's not really a terribly drinky affair.

And that sounds about right to me. By all means serve some alcohol at whichever venue you choose, WITH THE LUNCH/TEA, I don't think a christening needs to be dry (in fact any party involving adults that was dry would be frowned upon and thought odd by me) but it is really necessary to turn it into a drinking session in a a pub? Hmm It doesn't seem appropriate for the occasion at all.

babybarrister · 20/01/2014 09:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

newyearhere · 20/01/2014 10:20

Agree babybarrister. These are daytime family events and I'd be more than happy with a cup of tea.

Joysmum · 20/01/2014 10:24

babybarrister and newyearhere

I personally would very much appreciate a paid bar. As designated driver I'd be on the soft drinks.

I think it says a lot about the posters commenting that a paid bar automatically equals pissed up people. It is possible for adults to drink alcohol responsibly and a paid bar isn't dependent on your drink of choice containing alcohol you know Wink

Creamycoolerwithcream · 20/01/2014 10:27

The Christenings i've been to (apart from one) have been service, buffet in a social club or some other venue and a fee bar. There was no heavy drinking or abusing the free bar. Lots of people were driving home on long journeys after. I think a free bar can be provided without it turning into a massive boozy event. Nearly all bars do tea and coffee as well. I do think people know how to behave free bar or not.

AmberLeaf · 20/01/2014 10:36

the christenings I've been to were more like wedding receptions

big hall/venue, free bar and DJ and dancing. hot food.

Children welcome too.

Makes the boring church service worth it.

LadyBeagleEyes · 20/01/2014 10:43

The only christening I've been to was a massive Irish Catholic affair with a reception afterwards in the pub. They had first drink free then we paid for the rest. A huge buffet too, and a bouncy castle in the pub garden for the kids.
I thought this was normal.

ksrwr · 20/01/2014 10:44

my dd's christening was in the village church where my dp grew up. then everyone went back to his dm's house and we laid on food, cake and drinks for everyone. was only about 30 people, was a day time thing, everyone was driving. we did have wine etc available but most people asked for cups of tea.

UriGeller · 20/01/2014 11:28

I haven't been to a christening in 12 years! And there's been hundreds of friends or familys babies born since then. I was sort of wondering if they still happened Confused

squoosh · 20/01/2014 11:29

In Ireland it's unusual for someone not to be christened, it's very much a still a cultural rite of passage. It seems to be far less common in the UK.

Butkin · 20/01/2014 12:10

We had two church services when DD was christened. The first one was private for our friends/family who all came back to the house for our marquee lunch (wedding style).

The second one was as part of the normal Sunday morning service so the community could welcome her. Only our parents attended and we didn't do anything afterwards.

Grennie · 20/01/2014 12:14

At one of my nieces christenings, my parents were most put out that there was no alcohol at all. They wouldn't have cared if they had had to pay. But there was only tea or coffee on offer.

JohnCusacksWife · 20/01/2014 12:50

Never been to a christening that had a bar of any kind...it's always been back to the house/church hall for a buffet and maybe a glass of fizz but that's all.

Although having said that I have noticed that christening seem to be getting more and more full on...almost like weddings.

Original poster
Littleturkish · 20/01/2014 13:16

Blimey!

SO sorry for not coming back sooner- all that busy Sunday religious stuff and trying to look holy (good father ted quote for you there).

Too many guests to have in out tiny flat, holding the after party section in the clubhouse for the team my DH plays for (really gorgeous clubhouse where we all spend a lot of family time. But the people who own the clubhouse always want the bar open (like a pub) so we could put cash behind, but that is more expensive than just buying drinks and serving them (which we could afford to do).

I think after reading all your really useful and interesting replies we'll put x amount behind the bar and if people want more than that, they can pay for it, but I'll make sure everyone gets a couple of drinks to start!

Cheers, mumsnet, another crisis averted.

OP posts:
Fancyashandy · 20/01/2014 13:41

Sounds perfect OP, hope you all have a great day!

Pigsmummy · 20/01/2014 21:18

We did a buffet with tea, coffee, water, squash, white wine and red wine. It was a small function room in a hotel, if people wanted a drink other than listed they went down to the bar. Worked fine I think.

Pen99 · 20/01/2014 22:38

I once went to a paid bar funeral!
The mourning relatives were absolutely NOT financially hard up, yet they charged £1 a cup for tea or coffee and £3 + for a beer (this was about 7 years ago).
It was really quite embarrassing, as not everyone had money on them, others went up to the makeshift 'bar' to get a drink and were taken aback when they had to pay. There were sweets (yes, Haribo type sweets) in a few bowls around the room. And nothing else. All very awkward.

Picturesinthefirelight · 20/01/2014 22:47

I've only ever been to pay bar funerals -

Bunbaker · 21/01/2014 07:36

I have never been to a funeral wake in a pub or a christening in a pub. Neither of our families big these things up.

bodygoingsouth · 21/01/2014 07:50

well not religious myself and haven't had any of mine christened but a paid bar sounds terrific. Grin

Topaz25 · 21/01/2014 09:25

That's a really good compromise OP. I hope you have a lovely day.

Freyalright · 21/01/2014 11:22

Indoctrinate then intoxicate.

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