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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Paid bar at christening?

209 replies

Littleturkish · 19/01/2014 16:53

I think you cannot have a paid bar at a christening, DH thinks you can.

I've never ever heard of it, and would rather have a smaller party and invite less people. He thinks it's fine and I'm being ridiculous. DH agrees we won't do it as I feel so strongly about it- but I wanted to check I am right on this- have you ever heard of a paid bar at a christening and what would you think if you went to a christening that did this?

OP posts:
Oriunda · 19/01/2014 18:39

I've never been to a christening that had a paid bar, but then most of the ones I go to are large affairs with sit down meal (but they're not really about drinking ifswim). Last christening party was at my friend's house so a buffet.

HesterShaw · 19/01/2014 18:41

Yes, a paid bar is when you may have drinks on arrival and bottles of wine at the tables for the meal (if we're talking about a wedding), but if you then want to get plastered carry on drinking in the evening, then you pay for the drinks you consume at a bar. Nothing at all tacky in that.

At a christening, I would imagine there would be a glass or two of fizz at the start, and then if people wanted to carry on drinking all afternoon, it's up to them to fund it. Personally I would find people wanting to get drunk around lots of young children in the daytime "tacky", but you know, each to their own.

SlightlyTerrified · 19/01/2014 18:46

I think I meant to say a 'paid for' bar or a free bar. To me a paid bar is where you pay for your own drinks over the bar.

WitchWay · 19/01/2014 18:53

I have never been to a christening with a paid bar. Mostly they have been small affairs with some champagne offered to guests along with cups of tea & cake / sandwiches. We had just immediate family & godparents at our DS's & took everyone out to lunch then back to ours for tea.

Picturesinthefirelight · 19/01/2014 18:54

The only christening I have ever been to with a free bar is my own children's. my parents have a massive house do hosted for me. They regularly have big parties & dad provides lots of drink.

All other family christening a have been in a pub/community centre with a paid bar. Same with weddings. Completely unaffordable otherwise.

Bunbaker · 19/01/2014 18:54

All I can suggest is that if there is a bar for people to buy drinks at then you let your guests know beforehand. It would never occur to me to take my purse along to a christening.

We have a small family and don't have a huge circle of friends. Christenings in my and OH's family have always been small family affairs and never to the pub afterwards.

HesterShaw · 19/01/2014 18:56

It would never occur to me not to! I don't expect people to provide me with free booze at a christening/evening wedding, just food.

HesterShaw · 19/01/2014 18:56

(not that I ever get invited to christenings. We are a godless lot).

QuintessentialShadows · 19/01/2014 19:03

I have two sons, so we have arranged two Christenings.

The ceremony was followed by grandparents, god parents and other close family at a nice restaurant, where they got a 3 course sit down dinner, complete with wine and soft drinks served during the meal, and coffee/ cafe avec after dessert.

Fancyashandy · 19/01/2014 19:03

Yes, I'd imagine most folk if they were invited to a do at a pub or such would bring their purse.

And for a lot of people, an event like a christening, funeral or wedding is one of the few occasions to use as an excuse to get family and friends together to catch up and celebrate (and as christenings and weddings are becoming fewer then folk are getting together less and less).

Zingy123 · 19/01/2014 19:06

We had a bar at both christenings and both holy communions. We put £100 there after that people bought their own.

Have what you want it's your child too.

QuintessentialShadows · 19/01/2014 19:11

Oh yes, holy communions too. Great excuses for a good party. Ds1 had a sit down meal in a nice gastro pub, followed by insane amounts of cakes (and wine) at our house. With Ds2 we had a bbq at home, with beer and wine to go with the food, and again with insane amounts of cakes.

Religious occasions are good excuses to throw a great party for close family and friends. Grin

Fluffycloudland77 · 19/01/2014 19:11

I knew a lady who threw parties for christenings, birthdays ending in a zero, wedding anniversarys until one of her friends pointed out a man who was almost passing out with 4 doubles lined up on the bar in front of him.

She went on a cruise for wedding anniversary after that.

The more booze the more chance of a "situation" Wink

Creamycoolerwithcream · 19/01/2014 19:12

I've only been to five christenings and they did all have either an open bar or provided drink another way. But I think if you didn't want to then it's fine.

Fancyashandy · 19/01/2014 19:15

More reason then to have people pay for their own drinks, he wouldn't have had four doubles in front of him if he had forked out himself - greedy pig!

LittleBabyPigsus · 19/01/2014 19:15

I don't think there's anything wrong with a cash bar, and especially not at a do where there will be loads of kids (so you don't want everyone to get hammered at your expense!).

However I'm surprised at christenings being such big events - all the ones I've been to, from the naicest to the reet common, have been small family events with a buffet at the family home or in the church hall. But then I've only been to Anglican christenings, maybe Catholic ones are bigger?

HaroldLloyd · 19/01/2014 19:16

A paid bar is totally fine.

At everyone I have been too there has been a meal and a fee drinks provided but after that you order/pay for your own.

And they haven't been "tacky" either, in the slightest.

Most people just want to go and celebrate things with friends and family rather than get all frothy over the amount of free drinks.

LittleBabyPigsus · 19/01/2014 19:17

Oh and I don't think having a booze-up is disrespectful to the religious aspect (it's not when you have a wedding after all) and I HAVE been to a church with a bar - well, a Catholic uni chapel Grin

Latara · 19/01/2014 19:19

This is an interesting thread as I've never been to a christening - I always assumed it was just about the ceremony and didn't know they have parties afterwards.
I'm not religious at all so have never actively looked for an invite to a christening.

Obviously I've missed out!

Fluffycloudland77 · 19/01/2014 19:20

Fancyashandy

She was pretty miffed. We went to a wedding with free champagne reception, one guest was sent home in a taxi by 3pm.

Some people take the piss at free bars Angry

QuintessentialShadows · 19/01/2014 19:20

The last Christening I went to included at meal at a nearby pub - but all the guests paid their own bills. (young couple)

Fancyashandy · 19/01/2014 19:21

I think most Catholic dos tend to be big affairs with drink often involved.

Annunziata · 19/01/2014 19:23

DD's christening is the end of the month, we are giving everyone wine with dinner and then a pay bar.

I think it's normal (Catholic).

HaroldLloyd · 19/01/2014 19:24

I think that is normal.

Of course I just drink tea and think godly thoughts.

Kandypane · 19/01/2014 19:25

Been to two christenings recently - both had a paid bar. I thought nothing of it until seeing this post!

Even weddings have paid bars these days.

I don't think anyone expects a free bar these days.

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