Paid bar at christening?

[Littleturkish]

I think you cannot have a paid bar at a christening, DH thinks you can.

I've never ever heard of it, and would rather have a smaller party and invite less people. He thinks it's fine and I'm being ridiculous. DH agrees we won't do it as I feel so strongly about it- but I wanted to check I am right on this- have you ever heard of a paid bar at a christening and what would you think if you went to a christening that did this?

The last 3 christenings I have been to have all had a paid bar.

we'll put x amount behind the bar

Be careful! The last event I went to like this, a milestone anniversary, there was some money behind the bar for everyone to have their first drink. Except that some people didnt get one as there were a few people who sank as many free drinks as possible in the first half an hour. And you will always get the ones who will have a large spirit and mixer because its free than the half a pint of lager they would have if they were paying!

I would be more inclined to organise a couple of trays with glasses of wine and fruit juice on as a welcome drink, and then anything else is paid for at the bar. Apart from anything else, it will probably work out cheaper.

DD's christening was followed by lunch in a pub. We have big families who all live far away and had travelled for a few hours to come and celebrate with us. They wouldn't all have fit in our tiny flat. We provided a buffet lunch and christening cake and people went to the bar for drinks. I really didn't think it was an odd or inappropriate thing to do. Nobody for drunk!

Agree with Bogeyface
If you have a set amount of money for drinks put out a tray with glasses
and bottles and some jugs of soft drinks. Then perhaps nominate some one to serve these out as every one comes into the venue, thus ensuring everyone gets an initial drink - after that it's up to them.
Personally every christening I've been to has been a 'back to the house'
with a buffet and a few bottles of wine job.

I've never been to a christening that wasn't a paid bar , in fact I've never been to a single event or celebration with a free bar . It's practically unheard of around here to have a free bar .

The only christening I have been to in the last 5 years had a paid bar. Never even crossed my mind that it wouldn't be as the 'reception' was in a sports social club.

My babies baptism parties were in a Tapas bar. Most were church goers, lots of dcs so no one getting drunk. And they paid for their own drinks.

Oh dear, have now read all the posts and know why my Irish MIL was sneering at our buffet, I didn't realise that the Irish tradition was for a sit down meal after a Christening. Oops.....

I wouldn't say it is Pigsmummy, been to a hundred Irish christenings and none of them had a sit down meal. Sounds like a new trend to me!

Pigsmummy if you're not Irish then why should there be any particular reason you'd be expected to follow Irish tradition?

Sounds more like your mil is just a bit of a nob.

So have we agreed then that a "paid bar" is one where you pay for your own drinks as opposed to ????? where the hosts pay for all drinks?
Cos I found that part confusing.

When DD was christened we only had close family and the godparents so we had it back at our house and of course provided the drinks. But other christenings I have been to had a meal or buffet and you bought your own drinks at the bar. Seems fair enough when the host is providing the food.

So is it the thing these days to have a large party in the pub after a christening? I must have led a sheltered life.

Yes your MIL is a nob. Nothing wrong with a buffet.

Yes your MIL is a nob. Nothing wrong with a buffet.

I have not had alcohol at either of my DC's Christenings. I don't like it personally (that doesn't mean others can't do it, I have been to Christenings with a bar). We provided a buffet and soft/hot drinks. The Christenings with a bar have always been either buy your own or one free on arrival then buy your own.

Had a paid bar at ours. After the Catholic Church ceremony. At the golf club afterwards. We have a huge family and lots of friends.

Some of the snooty comments have been incredibly offensive.
Yes I planned it. I am good at planning. Our family , let alone friends is too big to have it at home. So tea and cake at home was not possible.
But if you do have a small ceremony and then at home, then fab, good for you.

Paid bar doesn't mean people getting pissed. It means everyone had a drink on us. It's our choice how we spend our money, thank you very much!

Batkin I assume there was only one actual christening with the water though? All the denominations that have infant baptism teach that there can only be one baptism (the actual water bit), although two services would be fine.

I was at a christening a few months ago and there was a paid bar. It's not unusual at all IMO

Why wait until after the ceremony to hit the bar? Just have everyone do a shot as they enter the church

I didn't mean to sound snooty, I'm just amazed that people invite loads of friends to christenings. I don't view christenings as large affairs like weddings. In my experience they are just small scale celebrations with immediate family, godparents and maybe a few close friends.

When your parents have 6 brothers & sisters immediate family & close friends is rather a lot.

When you live hundreds of miles away from both families and there is only one surviving grandparent then the gathering is very small.

We've done receptions at a pub, we pay for first round of drinks on arrival and champagne after the meal with the cutting of the cake but everything else is people buying for themselves.

Are people really so surprised that there are different ways of doing things, all for perfectly valid reasons and no way is necessarily right or wrong? Does seem that some people lead sheltered or blinkered lives.