AIBU to not "get" mass public mourning?

[BabyMummy29]

Thinking of the sad case of the little boy in Edinburgh at the moment, but on so many occasions nowadays people leave flowers, toys etc when they didn't even know the person concerned,

Wouldn't they be better spending the money on a donation to a charity.

I just don't get it at all. Fair enough if you knew the person involved. but not otherwise.

Not something I really get either but then I am old and that applies to a lot of things these days.

I don't recall anything like this pre-Diana. In retrospect I think that was a seismic moment in national emotional life.

Yabvu what a hard person you sound op! It's very sad when someone dies, especially a child in horribal circumstances. It's natural for the local community, some of which helped with the search to,show a sign of respect. It's like a 'one of us' kind of thing.

There is no right way to grief.
I think people should be allowed to express their grief and support as they wish.

maybe people on ths thread are talking at cross purposes?

Local people laying flowers at scene of tragedy is different to publically calling attention to oneself when what they are 'suffering' is no more than ordinary everyday empathy that most people feel, but thinking their own feelings need special consideration.

maybe

exactly Sal

I think this thread is in bad taste I really do, regardless of my opinions on the matter. Timing is everything and many people are shocked and devastated in that community.

chivetalking you obviously never heard of hillsborough or jamie bulger

massive displays of public sympathy ..thanking gosh it wadnt thembor their lil ones

It's not grieving though - they didn't know this little boy any more than the mass-mourners knew Diana (that in particular horrified me - £13million spent in London florists alone to create a huge compost heap in the Mall ). We've become a nation of infantile emotional incontinents

No you don't need to 'grieve' to show respect for a tragic death - Not the same thing, don't need to be

Here here WitchWay. I never got the Diana thing either.

Doormat Living in Liverpool at the time I don't actually remember massive out pourings of grief and flowers for Jamie Bulger - I remember pages of letters in The Echo though

Hillsborough was entirely different - you just can't compare it to other things - it involved mass death and football - lots of people lost friends, work mates, relative - my family included - part of the out pouring was anger and the wish for lessons to be learned and people to be heard

I totally get members of a small community who actively searched for a missing child feeling grief and wishing to express it - not so much random strangers on line

I'm with you on that one doormat!

I hope that wasn't directed at me doormat. Nothing unsympathetic about me - I get things in proportion.

YANBU - It's the shame shift in culture that has produced programmes like the X Factor. 100 years ago people retreated inside to mourn privately 'the drawing down of blinds' and people not immediate family or close friends showed their respect by leaving them alone.

However, if it helps people to come to terms with their feelings then who am I to say they shouldn't do it? It's mawkish and pointless in my opinion, but other people feel differently. Same sort of thing - if a child of mine died in a car crash, the last thing I'd want to do is make some sort of roadside shrine out of the place their life blood drained away. But people do it and must gain something from it.

No, maybe it's not grieving, but it's acknowledging the 'Here but for the grace of god go I' sentiment and showing some sympathy with those left behind.

I was surprised how much Diana's death affected me - I am not British, I was not in the UK when it happened, I am not a Royalist, I was not a mother at the time. The white wreath with the card 'Mummy' in it absolutely undid me - I think if I'd been in London I probably would've brought flowers too.

I think that is quite different from attention-seeking 'I am suffering as much as the family' posts on the evil that is FB .

everlong totally agree with the sad death of Diana.

at the time I too was a young mother with 2 dss.

I was so upset and still am that she has missed so much of her boys lives. she was only 36.. it was and still is bloody sad.

as for 'ripping the piss' out of people signing condolence books? really dispicable.

Having empathy and acknowledging that something is tragic and terrible does not equate with a public outpouring of grief.

I am a very private person. Why should I be called unsympathetic just because I'm not blubbing all over and posting my anguish on facebook?

sadly the outpouring of public grief for Bulger which, as a crime, was so horrendous, always reminds me of the horror of the prison van door bangers and the vigilantes who ask for the death penalty

I remember a news organisation interviewing people queuing for the QUeen mother - book of condolence or coffin - something like that

and they asked them when they last visited their own grandmother. It was quite revealing

Well why say anything at all, how does the saying go again!!!

Why should I be called unsympathetic just because I'm not blubbing all over and posting my anguish on facebook? also this

yup
i ripped the piss - she is my mate - you dont know ANYTHING about it

as for people who start anything with " as a mum...." as if youneed to have had kids to understand death....

gordy the flowers were left outside bootle strand ..i left a bunch with my mother at the time.. there were quite alot
also re hillsborough..totally agree..we all knew someone who died and still want justice x

witch , in proportion, as i said you musnt even know what it feels like..otherwise you would think very different

thank your lucky stars your feelings are in proportion

you ase already on this thread we can detect the tyranny of public mourning
remember when after Diana people were heckled for not signing books of condolence?