AIBU to not "get" mass public mourning?

[BabyMummy29]

Thinking of the sad case of the little boy in Edinburgh at the moment, but on so many occasions nowadays people leave flowers, toys etc when they didn't even know the person concerned,

Wouldn't they be better spending the money on a donation to a charity.

I just don't get it at all. Fair enough if you knew the person involved. but not otherwise.

involving yourself in other peoples grief has nothing to do with their pain or your respect for what they are going through and has everything to do with how you feel

it is not a mark of respect laying flowers or even worse getting your children to lay teddies at a make shift memorial site it is about the need of people to feel involved, to feel other peoples pain it is morbid and i doubt if the press were not there how many people would bother to show their respect

Excellent article from Carol Sarler. Spot on.

To the poster above who said 'everyone's entitled to their opinions or actions in these circumstances' (or words to that effect) respectfully, I disagree. No-one is entitled to hijack a stranger's tragedy in order to celebrate their own or their children's continuing survival, and to dress that celebration up as 'grief' or 'respect'.

Agreed, that is an excellent article from Carol Sarler in the Daily Mail. Sums up exactly what I was trying to say in my original thread, before I was accused of being heartless and uncaring for mentioning the nonsense that was going on in the name of "respect" for this little boy and others who have gone before him and will doubtless follow.

Wonderful article. What kind of parents indeed. Maybe some of the WWW (Worldwide Web of Wailers) will read it and feel a little shamed at their unwarranted, unwanted involvement.

When you think of Carol Sarler you have to think of Liz Jones, Katie Hopkins and Shona Sibary combined to the power of 10.

Babymummy the article is about kids laying flowers Teddy's etc you never mentioned children so I was assuming you were talking about adults!

I really don't understand the thing about leaving cuddly toys. I can see that leaving flowers, even candles, can be a mark of respect; but what respect is there in leaving a toy which is only going to spend a few days getting wet and filthy before being thrown away?

Agree excellent DM article - thanks for the link. A lot of the comments beneath are in complete agreement.

Grief porn, grief wanking ect... are horrid phrases.

Yes they are, but they express in quite blunt terms, the practice of people forcibly inserting themselves into someone else's tragedy and dressing it up as an act of sympathy.

Horrid phrases for a horrid practice.

YANBU, I really don't understand it at all either.

i agree horrible phrases but correctly used when people act in such a self indulgent way and that is what it is about them no one else

Weelady when I said people that included adults egging children on to lay "tributes" at the scene.

I suspect very few, if any, of these children thought "Oh I must go and lay flowers/candles/teddies at the shrine of that child I didn't know"

Grief porn, grief wanking ect... are horrid phrases.

Yes they are, but they express in quite blunt terms, the practice of people forcibly inserting themselves into someone else's tragedy and dressing it up as an act of sympathy.

Horrid phrases for a horrid practice.

Compo, that is SO perfectly put.

I haven't read the thread (shoot me),but massive public outpourings of grief and public outrage in the cases of Jill Lever and Daniel Christie in Australia have (I hope) resulted in changes in community attitudes to violence against women and alcohol fuelled violence. Had I been in Australia at the time, I'd have marched for Jill Lever. There is a time and place and of course it depends on what exactly has happened.

Compo - spot on