AIBU to not "get" mass public mourning?

[BabyMummy29]

Thinking of the sad case of the little boy in Edinburgh at the moment, but on so many occasions nowadays people leave flowers, toys etc when they didn't even know the person concerned,

Wouldn't they be better spending the money on a donation to a charity.

I just don't get it at all. Fair enough if you knew the person involved. but not otherwise.

In this case a lot of strangers were called to help search for this child, so even though they didn't know him, they will feel like they have a connection.

I think it's sometimes not so much about the loss of the child, but shock that something like this has happens in their community. That makes people feel like they need to come together and acknowledge their feelings somehow, and leaving flowers and cuddly toys is just our society's acceptable way of doing that.

YANBU

I dislike it. Grief tourism

why do you 'have to get it?' it's a mark of respect and personal choice. it's a hell of a lot better than no one showing any emotion or care at all.

strangers showing support is incredibly helpful and uplifting in such 'televised and nationally reported' events. it helped us.

mawkish! ...that's the word, not ghoulish.

yes grief tourism, and mawkish. both good words/phrases!

Hmm - I don't get all the mass hysteria ie when Princess Diana died - but I know when we had the swiss bus crash here - with a large number of Belgian primary children / staff dead and injured - I went and took flowers as a mark of respect. One of the schools is about 20 mins from me - and my dd will do that trip in year 6. It felt VERY close to home and I really wanted to do - though not something I normally would. I found the way they TVed up the funerals - with politicians and pop stars etc very distasteful though.

what can be seen on FB disturbs me much more tbh.
a while ago the partner of an old friend of mine died very suddenly, leaving her with 2 children, they were only in their early 30's when it happened. The status updates from other people on FB were awful, total hysteria "what am I going to do wihout him, I want to.die" type of things without a mention of his OH and their children. It was all "me me me" and being so ostentatious about their own grief while she kept a very dignified silence about it although I do know it hurt her badly and she dropped alot of so called friends.
Thats what it looks like to me when I see the flowers being laid in front of the cameras, "look at how much I care'. The princess diana thing was totally ridiculous.

In the case of that little boy, many people give up their time and battled the weather to find this little boy. I think for them it is a way for them to do something.

Something, that's bloody awful. That poor woman seeing all that when she was going through hell.

Bootycall
I'm sorry you have been affected by such events.
I hope you don't mind me saying that whilst I would never make a public display of support/grief, that is how i personally would show respect.
I would view laying flowers etc as intrusive.

So I suspect that your family were in the thoughts of many more than those who laid flowers or tributes.

I hope that makes sense

Round my way there have been a fair few children children knocked over and killed over the years. People lay flowers at the scene of the accident every year on the anniversary of the victims death. If nothing else it serves as a reminder to idiot drivers to slow down.
I'm glad people do this kind of thing, empathy is what sets us apart from the other animals that inhabit our planet.

Something! That's awful.

It's called mourning sickness and I don't really get it either. I'm very sad for the little boy but the outpouring of public grief seems a bit ghoulish.

Considering that a couple of people have been arrested for racist tweets of happiness over the boy's death, I'm glad there are people out there showing their respect to counteract that

If I am affects by events I mourn n private but I suppose some people might find it helpful to do something more public.
However, I do wonder if there's a bit of a " get my face on telly/in the papers" about it in some cases.

I get why adults/teens and even older children might want to do this but what I don't understand is parents who are bringing very young children and having them put down flowers etc. I want to shield my DS from the evil in the world for as long as possible, what are the parents saying to these children while they're there? They must be explaining it somehow but I just don't see this as necessary or appropriate. They're too little.

Nancy66 I didn't see your post before I put mine about young children but totally agree

I hope you are not implying that laying flowers = empathy TakeYourPick

Because it doesn't

I can have empathy for someone, or for a situation, without having to do it publicly.

Laying flowers = empathy if that's what the person who lay the flowers was inspired by.

pag not at all totally understand your views.

everlongthank you.

its SO naff.
particularly the plastic wrapped flowers. and teddy bears of someone they never knew
i hate public displays of any emotion

Thank Booty