AIBU to not "get" mass public mourning?

[BabyMummy29]

Thinking of the sad case of the little boy in Edinburgh at the moment, but on so many occasions nowadays people leave flowers, toys etc when they didn't even know the person concerned,

Wouldn't they be better spending the money on a donation to a charity.

I just don't get it at all. Fair enough if you knew the person involved. but not otherwise.

Grief Whores all of them ,the most bizarre behavior imaginable.........

I'm actually gobsmacked at some of these comments!!!

If you don't like it that's fine but shut your bloody mouths it's not the kind of subject for a debate a poor wee boys death, whether you should lay flowers of not!!

weelady isnt it disgusting.. am embarrassed that heartless women like this exist

Everlong I'm so sorry for your loss

I was moved by the fact that so many in the community joined in the search, although surely I wasn't the only person who suspected that something was more amiss from the beginning?
I find laying of flowers and public messages a strange thing to do. Tribute pages are simply embarrassing. Paradoxically, I find the laying of flowers as described earlier on in the thread (sorry not sure by whom) for a person who died in another country very moving.

hugs everlong x

Hmmm I think if it is something that has happened locally then I can understand people feeling more connected, if that makes sense?

Best thing I can really use to show what I mean is Hillsborough. The entire city came together in their grief because they felt that it was a shared grief. I seem to recall a lot of flowers being laid, memorials every year etc. And to be honest, it moved me to tears rather than me finding it distasteful.

And perhaps the families feel some comfort in seeing a visible symbol of grief?

yes agree all the above..^^ why see the bad in motives and sneer. see the good and grow as a person yourself.

Doormat my stomach is churning reading it! It's disgusting

everlong thinking of you and hugs xxx

I don't really get it either. But then I guess it's just one move up from signing a book of condolence, which I can completely understand.

I guess people show their upset in different ways? I found the Diana thing truly hideous and I think since then I've found it a bit ott, but this has touched me more than Diana ever did!

Some replies are shocking. Didn't know people think like this and feel no shame in letting others know how ugly they are on the inside.

Everlong

I genuinely amazed this thread has been started.
An innocent 3 year old child is dead.
People are showing humanity.

Why does it make me heartless that I'm not one for laying flowers and public displays of grief?

Yes, some people will have genuine grief and want to express it. That is up to them. But there are some people who just want to be seen to be expressing grief when really they don't give a shit. Those are the people who make others question motives.

I don't really care what other people do. I do know that when my mother died, very suddenly and unexpectedly, the last thing I would have wanted would have been the sympathy of strangers.

Every year people lay down poppies to remember those who died for their country, and attend memorial services etc, often in remembrance for men and women they never knew.

Many of us lay down flowers at the graves of those we have lost who were dear to us.

That people take the time out of their own lives to buy flowers and tokens, whether cheap and cellophane wrapped or not, and take them to a specific place to lay them down in remembrance of a tragic life lost, the theory and sentiment is the same... Respect and remembrance.

I think YABU.

I totally get friends, colleagues and family members laying flowers are crash scenes etc

YANBU about the whole grief tourism issue at all though - people with zero connection to a person falling over themselves to be - publicly - the most shocked, distraught and heartbroken

grief whore what an absolutely disgusting term. absolutely vile post.

Weelady... You might not like the replies but please don't tell people to 'shut their bloody mouths'. Some people do not like or understand 'mass public mourning', which is what this thread is about.

The thread is not about the boy's death. Local people, people who actually knew this boy or lived in his community, will be grieving. Nobody's saying different. It's horribly sad.

I don't get it either. Never have, and that's not to be cold hearted, I;ve just never understood it.

What Coffee said. Some things don't need to be said.
What makes the op think this question is actually acceptable given the circumstances and secondly .... Empathy, try alittle empathy.

God this is mean spirited.

I'm in Ireland, funerals are all massive especially if it's the tragic death of a child. I go, as does everyone I know, to funerals where I never met the person, but maybe work with their DIL or soemthing. It's to mark the mourners grief and acknowledge it. Stand for a moment to mark a life passing. It comes from a good decent human place. It provides comfort to those left behind.
I guess this is the same dynamic at work here.

Well have a bit respect eh