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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

About neighbours taking in deliveries for us?

242 replies

Plateofcrumbs · 19/01/2014 09:18

DH and I both work full time, often long hours. We do a large chunk of our shopping online (clothes, stuff for the house, books) which often results in courier/Royal Mail deliveries whilst we are out being left with a neighbour.

There are a few people on our street who are often in during the day so packages don't always end up with the same people - maybe once a month is the most any neighbour gets.

We always collect packages as soon as we can but because of long hours this is sometimes not the same day, sometimes a few days. And we've had a couple of occasions where couriers have not left cards so we haven't known about parcels until the neighbour has come round to us.

One neighbour is always a bit pointed with us when she takes in deliveries, particularly if we are not straight over to pick them up, and makes us feel like we're being a bit of a nuisance.

AIBU to be so reliant on neighbours goodwill, or is she being unreasonable to make a fuss?

OP posts:

Deux · 19/01/2014 23:12

I think courtesy and good manners dictate you ought to pick your parcels up ASAP.

If it is one particular neighbour who bears the brunt, then acknowledging this in some way through a small gift of flowers, say, may soften the blow.

My neighbours both work full time and do lots of online shopping so i take in lots for them but i do get a bit grumbly if they're not collected that day when i can see their car there.

I have only refused one delivery for them which was a fully assembled small wardrobe.

I was equally agahst when 2 large boxes from John Lewis arrived and on signing the delivery note I saw that under 'delivery instructions' my neighbours had written 'leave at Deux's house'. They hadn't asked me, which would have been courteous.

tiggytape · 19/01/2014 23:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whatsonyourplate · 19/01/2014 23:24

Amazon lockers are good if there is one near and you are ordering from Amazon. Only works for smaller stuff.

From the other side, I always check the courier is leaving a card with the neighbour who the parcel is for.

I took delivery of 4 huge tyres for my next door neighbour a while ago. I signed for them and the courier left them outside my front window, which seemed a bit daft as he could have left them outside their house.

timtam23 · 19/01/2014 23:28

Same situation here as MiaowTheCat. My DH is a SAHD. Our usual postman and most of the delivery drivers now know that he's almost always in so we do get a fair number of parcels for quite a lot of the neighbours. It's not usually too much bother to keep them for a day or two & DH has never yet refused to take a parcel, but what can be annoying is if someone orders something large online & then goes away for an unspecified length of time, we then unwittingly accept the parcel... We have had large boxes in the hall for a week at a time due to neighbour being away on holiday, this was really inconvenient in a small house with 2 very inquisitive small children & our territorial pets who don't like unfamiliar objects! They didn't exactly rush over when they got back either! One set of neighbours in particular have been very very slow to pick things up from us even though the postman always leaves them a card, I'm inclined to say no to their parcels from now on as we can't really spare the space & I couldn't guarantee to keep their stuff out of the DSs' clutches.

rabbitlady · 19/01/2014 23:31

my workplace won't accept personal deliveries - they have written to all staff about it.
couriers should not leave items with a neighbour unless they have a prior arrangement with you to do this. if it happens, i phone the couriers and insist they collect the item and deliver it to me at my address.

TheDoctrineOf2014 · 19/01/2014 23:51

You've lived there six months, you use collect plus where possible, you sometimes get things delivered to work, if it's possible to get a delivery day you work from home, several neighbours have taken in parcels but this one neighbour has had 3-4...

How many things have you ordered in the past six months???

Anyway, have you been neighbourly in other ways? We are rarely in during week days and have a retired neighbour who did us a big favour taking in furniture which the company helpfully delivered whilst we were on holiday (despite us instructing them of our holiday dates!) -so we invited her along to a pizza with some other neighbours and DH is going to fix her computer.

Also, we've lived here six years so have exchanged Xmas cards, gone trick or treating etc - in short, we have an existing relationship with those who are helping us out.

landrover · 20/01/2014 00:02

Im sorry, but you are mad! why are you ordering stuff to be delivered to your home when you know darn well that you will never be there!! Stop doing that!!!! You are relying on other people,WHY?

landrover · 20/01/2014 00:05

And what the hell are u having delivered so often?

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 20/01/2014 03:15

Of course, the obvious solution is to leave a note on your door asking them NOT to leave parcels with is lady and to make sure they leave a card stating where you can collect it from.

Jengnr · 20/01/2014 05:47

So you're not asking the neighbour to do it and you're not requesting the parcels go to a neighbour?

I don't really see the problem tbh. You're not relying on them. If they choose to take the parcels that's up to them.

LoveBeingCantThinkOfAName · 20/01/2014 05:50

Op re no space for delivery instructions. Very brief notes can be added via the address box eg mrs Odersalot, leave in safe box, 22 Grumpy Neighbours Close. Alliteratively, you can email additional delivery instructions to tge company.

Onesiegoddess · 20/01/2014 05:58

Knocking after 9 is really not 0n!! I'd hate that.

Also if you are expecting people to take a stream of deliveries for you, you should expect to buy them a bottle of wine or chocolates occasionally as a thankyou.

Inertia · 20/01/2014 07:07

We have an ibin parcel box which has a unique code inside that couriers can scan to prove delivery without a signature. You can usually include the parcl code number in delivery instructions or even part of the address, and make sure you tell each delivery person / postie. Makes life so much easier

And YAB a bit U to moan about your neighbours beong less than overjoyed.

3bunnies · 20/01/2014 07:19

I am in most days but have to collect ds from nursery at the time the postie usually comes. I try to order RM stuff mid week so that it usually comes on fri/sat when I am around. Around here we do take in parcels for each other but it is give and take as I will often take things in for other people. I would rather that than the other option which seems to be to chuck it over a 6 foot gate.

ComposHat · 20/01/2014 08:39

Your neighbours are not your courier service, there's no way I'd be happy if this happened on even a semi regular basis.

It seems odd they are leaving things with neighbours unless specifically instructed to do so. Can't you leave an indication on the order form that if the parcel can't be delivered it should be returned to the depot.

TheBookofRuth · 20/01/2014 08:52

I am a SAHM and seem to be Chief-Taker-In of parcels for the neighbours. I only mind when they don't come round promptly to collect them - we don't have a hall or a porch, so things are sitting in the corner of our (small) living room till they're collected.

soundevenfruity · 20/01/2014 09:03

Relying on other people is fine as long as it's a reciprocal arrangement. What do you for your neighbours in return? I once stopped taking in parcels for a neighbour because they didn't collect for 4 or 5 days. I think Royal Mail is going to introduce the same rule as courier companies, i.e. leave parcels with neighbours by default if nobody's home. I second getting a box with identification bar if you are never home. Is it one of those reverse posts? Are you the grumpy neighbour?

LineRunner · 20/01/2014 09:05

It is pretty common where I live to see signs taped to front doors saying things like, 'Please leave parcels with numbers 28 and 30. Do not leave with 24.' Quite simple, really.

I do refuse to take parcels for one set of neighbours. It is quite easy - I just don't open the door to the courier any more.

The reason I refuse is because the neighbours are invariably in, but each of them is too lazy to get out of bed to answer the door, usually having kept me awake till the early hours. Gits.

Jaynebxl · 20/01/2014 09:14

I don't get the problem. We have only lived in out house since the summer and from the beginning have been asked to take stuff in for next door. I wouldn't hesitate as I think it is part of being neighbourly. However it is perfectly acceptable to say no which I did on a Friday when we were going away and knew we wouldn't see the neighbours before we went. Our other neighbour takes in stuff for us. No man is an island and all that.

Eatriskier · 20/01/2014 09:30

I don't think YABU, the neighbour can say no and if she is taking in parcels.

We (collective many houses on the street we) have a massive issue with a particular neighbour which means that all our parcels have to be marked 'do not leave at number x' and we all refuse to take in parcels for them too. However more and more often these instructions are quite often not passed onto the couriers/being given less printing space so what are they to do?

The last parcel I received for a neighbour that had some delivery instructions, it should have said 'please leave behind garden gate'. The parcel only had 'please leave behind g'. The courier couldn't figure that out and left with me, and then didn't card my neighbour as promised. 2 days later she finally found out that it had been left with us because she had a rant at the company she bought from - no card and none of her immediate neighbours had the parcel, she hadn't been in when we were about in order for us to pop round.

babbi · 20/01/2014 09:33

Reading this makes me even more grateful for my neighbours... small cul - de -sac of 10 houses.
Taking in parcels for each other - I am SAHM - so tend to get the majority- is never an issue.
Handing them over to their rightful owner is great fun. You are thanked and invited in for a cup of tea which always leads to a glass of wine. it is a very sociable little street !

FuckingWankwings · 20/01/2014 10:37

brett, I agree, it's quite saddening.

I know some of my neighbours, not all by any means, but I'd take in a parcel for any of them.

ShadowOfTheDay · 20/01/2014 12:14

the problem is not taking in parcels, or delivering them, or the person coming to pick them up etc... the problem is that some people think it is their divine right to impose on others all the time WITHOUT even asking...

you can't just keep on arranging for stuff to be delivered when you know you will not be there... no wonder delivery costs keep going up... what a complete waste of everybody's time - couriers, neighbours - oh... except yours of course....

Jaynebxl · 20/01/2014 12:59

But shadow you never know exactly when parcels will be delivered. Are you saying people should only shop online if they can stay home 24/7? And you never know which house the postie will go to with a parcel. Thank God for people with a sense of community spirit.

CaterpillarCara · 20/01/2014 13:16

Of course you don't need to be home 24/7. But to order home delivery there should be some chance you will be home!

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