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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About neighbours taking in deliveries for us?

242 replies

Plateofcrumbs · 19/01/2014 09:18

DH and I both work full time, often long hours. We do a large chunk of our shopping online (clothes, stuff for the house, books) which often results in courier/Royal Mail deliveries whilst we are out being left with a neighbour.

There are a few people on our street who are often in during the day so packages don't always end up with the same people - maybe once a month is the most any neighbour gets.

We always collect packages as soon as we can but because of long hours this is sometimes not the same day, sometimes a few days. And we've had a couple of occasions where couriers have not left cards so we haven't known about parcels until the neighbour has come round to us.

One neighbour is always a bit pointed with us when she takes in deliveries, particularly if we are not straight over to pick them up, and makes us feel like we're being a bit of a nuisance.

AIBU to be so reliant on neighbours goodwill, or is she being unreasonable to make a fuss?

OP posts:
TeaOneSugar · 19/01/2014 09:28

Our local shop takes parcel deliveries, not sure how it works but worth looking into. I often get parcels delivered to work or to my pil as fil is usually in.

Could you come to an arrangement with one neighbourhood, for a payment or returned favour?

MidniteScribbler · 19/01/2014 09:28

makes us feel like we're being a bit of a nuisance

You are.

LouiseSmith · 19/01/2014 09:29

I take in parcels for my neighbours, because I hate going to the sorting office to collect them myself.

I don't mind x

CSIJanner · 19/01/2014 09:29

YABU

They don't have to take the packages in. Whilst it is a thing if goodwill, if you don't collect them quickly, it can become a bone of contention, even if you don't get the cards. There was a thread a while back of a woman whose neighbours had a huge box delivered that took up her hallway to the point she couldn't get out. If you're a SAHP then you could end up taking packages for a number of households which can get frustrating as you then up as the postman.

You can log onto the RM website and leave instructions for things to be left at the post office. Or you could ask work if you can have some important documents/packages there. The thing is, if you don't try to organise something, you run the risk of souring neighbour

SinkyMalinks · 19/01/2014 09:31

YANBU

I go through phases at work when my neighbours take in my parcels. More recently I've been the one in in the daytime.

Recently I hesitated before accepting a delivery - it was a flat pack bed (so massive!) and I was working out how close the house was - the delivery man was at pains to say I didn't have to take it etc..

I can't have things delivered to work, it's easy to say no if it is a drama (the neighbour). Don't worry about it.

Incidentally, those collect point - the boxes in supermarkets/petrol stations etc that hold your delivery behind a combination lock are amazing if the neighbours are getting a bit over used....!

DameDeepRedBetty · 19/01/2014 09:32

I have a shop opposite and came to an agreement that they would take my parcels in for me the Christmas before last. I asked nicely, they said yes, and I gave them a bottle of wine and a box of chocs for both Christmases so far to say thank you.

TeaOneSugar · 19/01/2014 09:32

Bear in mind also that elderly neighbours who live alone will either appreciate the interaction or will find it makes them anxious. My pil are happy to take parcels but want it picked up asap in case it gets damaged or lost, they find it a responsibility.

YellowDinosaur · 19/01/2014 09:36

The only thing I think it's unreasonable is that you don't go the same day to collect. As a previous poster said I'm sure you don't both work from 8 am to 10 pm every day!

I really don't see the angst about taking in post for a neighbour. I'd happily do this and appreciate it when neighbours return the favour. I certainly don't expect it (that would be rude) and neither would I mind if they said no to the courier. Which is what they should do if it's annoying then, not do the favour then be all snippy about it.

I do understand why you might prefer not to be bothered. I have a friend who works from home and is constantly being disturbed yet when she is out all the neighbours are also out so she has to go to the depot for her parcels while being disturbed for everyone else. But in that case decline /put a note up like she now does.

secretscwirrels · 19/01/2014 09:36

You do this knowing you won't be there to receive the parcels and without arranging it first with the neighbours?
How rude.
I hope you do lots of favours in return to the kind neighbours who take in all your parcels for you?

secretscwirrelsPOBox1chief parcel taker in for my street.

hmc · 19/01/2014 09:36

OP several posters have asked whether you could have the parcels delivered to work - well could you?

PollyCazaletWannabe · 19/01/2014 09:38

I always get parcels delivered to work- don't like imposing on the neighbours in that way.

Original poster
Plateofcrumbs · 19/01/2014 09:38

Just to be clear this was a genuine AIBU?, not a rant about the neighbour - having rarely been the one taking in parcels I don't know how annoying it is.

We do use 'click and collect' whenever that is an option and wherever delivery instructions are available we request that parcels are left tucked in our porch rather than with a neighbour.

TBH I have always thought getting packages delivered to work more unreasonable than to home, even when that means they may end up with a neighbour.

OP posts:
CiderBomb · 19/01/2014 09:38

Why order things online if you know your not going to be in to collect them? Have them delivered to your work place or a relatives house instead.

dannydyerismydad · 19/01/2014 09:39

Whenever I feel that my deliveries have imposed on my neighbours (a certain person has received a few too many, someone has taken in a massive parcel, or I've not picked up because a card wasn't left), I take my neighbour some flowers or wine. They are always happy to help out now.

MomentForLife · 19/01/2014 09:39

When you say the most any neighbour gets is one a month, that's still pretty regular. I'm at home a lot and happy to take things in but it only happens occasionaly.

I know someone like my Nan would be anxious about it.

ShadowOfTheDay · 19/01/2014 09:41

Having them delivered to work may let you see just how annoying it is....

SuburbanRhonda · 19/01/2014 09:41

cider if everyone who was out at work during the day stopped ordering online, I think we'd see a lot of companies going bust Hmm

Binkyridesagain · 19/01/2014 09:41

Even when you don't take in the parcels you still have to deal with postmen and couriers knocking on the door asking if you will take delivery.

Some weeks it can be fine, its not everyday and you're not in the middle of something, but there can be days when the doorbell never stops and it is never for you.

Original poster
Plateofcrumbs · 19/01/2014 09:42

Oh and on being at home: we are both out of the house before 8am. We are usually home before 8pm but it's not totally uncommon for us to have a couple of nights in a row when neither of us is in before 10pm.

My cut-off for knocking on neighbours doors is 9pm unless their living room lights are on, then I might go 9:30pm - 10pm seems late to be knocking on doors?

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 19/01/2014 09:43

Ywbu to expect neighbours to take your parcels. I would rather go to depot than have deliveries dumped in a bush or round at someones house where i have to keep popping round.

It's never occurred to me to be annoyed about taking a neighbours parcel, or consider if it would annoy my neighbours. Afaik no one minds doing it, it's nice to be a good neighbour and we all need to be able to rely on each other in small ways.

If I have a parcel I tend to take it to the neighbour rather than wait for them to collect. I have a big hall, its not a problem but I know people don't always see the cards and generally like to get their deliveries ASAP.

If you feel she's making a point about not wanting to do it just say to her, please don't feel obliged.

Do you mind picking up from depot?

Bloodyteenagers · 19/01/2014 09:44

Even though my neighbours are lovely and have told me to yes them for deliveries, i dont always. Big things i talk to them first if I cannot arrange evening/weekends. Smaller things I alternate between then, the local shop and work. I think its not nice to always impose on people, and its rude to not collect the same day unless of course there has been an emergency.

tilliebob · 19/01/2014 09:45

I agree with the folks who say get them delivered to work if you can. I can't always do that myself unless I can guarantee when the parcel will be delivered.

I have always taken parcels in for folks no problem but have stopped for one particular neighbour who never comes for them but waits for one of just to trot along the road with it like a serf. However that's a separate thread Angry.

MrsDeVere · 19/01/2014 09:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blackandwhiteandredallover · 19/01/2014 09:45

Have them delivered to work?

blackandwhiteandredallover · 19/01/2014 09:45

Have them delivered to work?

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