About neighbours taking in deliveries for us?

[Plateofcrumbs]

DH and I both work full time, often long hours. We do a large chunk of our shopping online (clothes, stuff for the house, books) which often results in courier/Royal Mail deliveries whilst we are out being left with a neighbour.

There are a few people on our street who are often in during the day so packages don't always end up with the same people - maybe once a month is the most any neighbour gets.

We always collect packages as soon as we can but because of long hours this is sometimes not the same day, sometimes a few days. And we've had a couple of occasions where couriers have not left cards so we haven't known about parcels until the neighbour has come round to us.

One neighbour is always a bit pointed with us when she takes in deliveries, particularly if we are not straight over to pick them up, and makes us feel like we're being a bit of a nuisance.

AIBU to be so reliant on neighbours goodwill, or is she being unreasonable to make a fuss?

I will always take in parcels but I check the delivery person is putting a card through to tell them where the parcel is and I would want it collected the same day.

Why is it more unreasonable to get them delivered to work than expect a neighbour to not mind being disturbed?

Sorry, but I think that unless you have discussed it with your neighbour previously, or make some kind of reciprocal deal, then to ever just assume that it's okay is a leetle bit entitled.

You know when you order whether you are likely to be in or not. And if it's a weekday, clearly not.

Especially as so many hallways seem to be tiny now, and there is just nowhere to store your own stuff, let alone someone else's parcels.

I really am amazed by this thread. community spirit really is dead and buried.

It has never occurred to me to mind. .... If I did I would say no. When I was on mat leave I went through a phase of collecting a parcel a day.

Where do you people live? Is it that you don't actually know your neighbours? Really can't get my head around it.

I certainly don't mind the odd parcel but if it was every day/week that would piss me off and I would say no.

not to collect ASAP is very rude of you.

I think you know by now that YABU. My mother is in all day and gets throughly fed up with couriers/parcel force expecting her to take in neighbours' parcels. She is disabled so cannot take the parcels over to the neighbours when they get home nor store them at her house nor get to the door easily to answer it when the neighbours come to collect their parcels.

I have told her to tell the couriers etc that she won't take in parcels but they are often rude and insistent so she finds it difficult to refuse. She has now reached the stage that she will not answer the door to a courier unless she is expecting a delivery.

Whenever I order something I always check where and how it will be delivered and will either get it delivered to work or a local shop or pay extra for delivery when I know I will be in, eg Saturdays.

I think that if the neighbour doesn't want to take the OP's parcels in, then she should refuse to take them off the postman in the first place.
I generally don't mind taking in parcels, but I've occasionally refused to accept parcels for neighbours before and the postman's been fine about it. Maybe suggest to the neighbour that she just says no next time?

Agree that you should collect ASAP though. And personally, I'd rather hold onto most parcels for a few days if the alternative was the neighbour ringing the doorbell before 8am or after 10pm.

Also, when you order stuff online, are you always checking to see if there's an option to have the parcels delivered on a day you're home? I know this isn't always possible, but certainly some companies will let you select a delivery day for a small fee.

Failing that, you could always get one of those stickers from the Royal Mail for your door that asks the postman to take parcels to the delivery office instead of leaving them with a neighbour. That ought to stop any parcels being left with them, or at least reduce the number.

Yabu your parcels your problem

Shadow read my post above yours. It isn't always that easy for someone to refuse to take in parcels hence the need for the OP to be more considerate.

brettgirl2, I think in many respects the issue is not so much taking in the parcels but the fact that they may not be collected for a few days. I don't know about you, but I would object quite strongly to tripping over someone else's parcels for days on end.

I've considered getting an opt-out sticker, so that my parcels wouldn't go to someone else and I wouldn't get anyone else's either. I don't mind going online to arrange a re-delivery for when I'm in.

However, I don't really want a sticker on my front door displaying my choice to all the neighbours. Why can't Royal Mail just keep a digital list of who's opted out?

Our postman never leaves a card, so we don't know who or even if anyone has a parcel for us.

I get the same thing - it takes me ages to get to the door because of mobility issues. When I then refuse to take in the parcel, I get all sorts of mean responses from the delivery person or courier.

They range from huffing at me to pressing me to take it in, to arguing with me why I should take it in, to one who shouted at me that he didn't care if I was disabled, I shouldn't waste his time by being so slow to get to the door and refusing to take it in, to the ones who LEFT parcels for OTHER people in my parcel safe, to the one that dumped a LARGE parcel for someone else blocking my front door because he knew I was in and forged my signature. If anything had been damaged on that parcel, I would have gotten in trouble.

(Yes, I DID complain about the one who was nasty about my disability and 'wasting his time', he didn't see the irony that he was wasting MY time).

These were ALL AFTER I had put a sign on the door to state that I wasn't accepting deliveries for other people...

Eh? I am surprised at how many people are saying you're being u.

Of course you're not- she can say she doesn't want to take it in. Our postie once left a parcel with a house in the same close, but not really a neighbour, and the bloke got really shirty I hadn't collected it. (We'd dared to go away for a night...)

I think most of you saying that neighbour should refuse collection missed the point that Royal Mail states that OP has to notify RM not to do it.

As long as OP won't do it RM will knock on random doors in the neighbourhood.

I'm so glad delivery drivers don't harass the neighbours where I live. I'd say no but god, it must be beyond irritating to have delivery men constantly causing disturbance by knocking on the door. Many people work shifts and need to sleep, have babys/toddlers who need to not have their nap disturbed or work from home.

Very annoying but for those kind enough to take parcels in to then have to store it for several days until the owner decides to collect? Repeatedly. I'll bet this is the last time you'll be collecting from her house.

You are taking the piss.

"I think most of you saying that neighbour should refuse collection missed the point that Royal Mail states that OP has to notify RM not to do it."

...Or the other neighbour can put a sticker on their door saying they don't want to participate. As far as I am aware the scheme (which I don't agree with personally, but it's Royal Mail's scheme...) is that a household can put a sticker on their door saying that they don't wish to receive other people's parcels or have their own parcels left with neighbours. There is no option to say 'leave my parcels with anyone apart from her at number 8' - it's all or nothing.

Say, the OP and her other neighbours are all happy to be involved in the scheme (and I don't know whether they are) but one neighbour isn't happy to receive parcels. The options are either a) that one neighbour puts a sticker on their door, they don't get bothered with parcels anymore, while everyone else gets to continue with a scheme that they find convenient and neighbourly. b) Everyone else in the street has to put a sticker on their door saying that they don't want their parcels delivered to neighbours, just in case one of them should happen to go to the woman at number 8 - and everyone has to traipse to the delivery office/ wait in for redeliveries when most of them would be happy to receive each other's parcels.

Personally, I have a sticker on my door (mainly because I live in an area with a high turnover of temporary neighbours) and I'm pleased (and slightly surprised) to say that Royal Mail have heeded that so far (both in terms of not leaving my parcels with neighbours and not asking me to take other people's parcels). Obviously that doesn't solve the problem with other courier companies but I don't think there's necessarily much the OP can do about that, unless the ordering process gives other options.

Too many male delivery drivers are so entitled, aren't they? They think they and their time are so important, compared to a mere woman at home...

It would be so much better if Royal Mail's scheme for delivering to neighbours was opt-in, rather than opt-out IMHO.

I have never minded taking in anyone's parcels and neither have any of my neighbours. I had a lovely chat with a new neighbour today because of a parcel. One neighbour works from home a lot and is always happy to take them in. And I thought London was unfriendly. Surely you just refuse if its that huge a burden.

Re - royal mail. We never get them given to neighbours. We live near a delivery office though so that may be a factor.

Collect your parcel, thank them, and tell them if its inconvenient to please tell the postman 'no' in future as you will happily go and collect.

Keeping parcels for a few days could be really inconvenient esp if they have a small house.

YANBUY

I have always taken deliveries for my neighbours.

But I have decided that I will no longer accept deliveries for one set of close neighbours.

They are 2 professional people, working full-time. They've been here over 6 months. They make no attempt to say hello and just look through you when you say hello. I sent them a Christmas card - no card back from them. They have noisy parties at every opportunity often in the garden well into the early hours. Absolutely no consideration for their neighbours at all.

So I shall no longer take their deliveries around to them to recive a muttered 'Ta' before the door is shut in my face.

OP, I think you sound quite reasonable. Now you've realised your neighbour isn't happy, you are going to do things differently. That's fine.

My neighbours and I are forever taking in one anothers' parcels. As far as I can see, no-one gets lumbered - we all help each other out. I do get a tad curious when next door get a huge box from Lakeland though, I have had to curtail my own Lakeland habit and was dying to have a rummage.