About neighbours taking in deliveries for us?

[Plateofcrumbs]

DH and I both work full time, often long hours. We do a large chunk of our shopping online (clothes, stuff for the house, books) which often results in courier/Royal Mail deliveries whilst we are out being left with a neighbour.

There are a few people on our street who are often in during the day so packages don't always end up with the same people - maybe once a month is the most any neighbour gets.

We always collect packages as soon as we can but because of long hours this is sometimes not the same day, sometimes a few days. And we've had a couple of occasions where couriers have not left cards so we haven't known about parcels until the neighbour has come round to us.

One neighbour is always a bit pointed with us when she takes in deliveries, particularly if we are not straight over to pick them up, and makes us feel like we're being a bit of a nuisance.

AIBU to be so reliant on neighbours goodwill, or is she being unreasonable to make a fuss?

My office no longer allows work address to be used for personal deliveries. It was fine in the early days of Amazon et al but in an office of over 250 people it was getting out of hand.

Most people are more than happy to do a small kindness like taking in a parcel, even at a slight inconvenience to themselves. On the other hand, nobody wants to feel like a mug, and if you're expecting small favours on a regular basis without giving anything much back then that's how your neighbours are going to start to feel. Thanks to the magic of AIBU you have now recognised this fact and can plan accordingly in future.

You or your partner need to collect as soon as you get home, or failing that ring your neighbour and tell them when you will collect. However, if you order knowing you won't be around, why not arrnage for it to be delivered to work, friend or family instead?

whenwherewhy - thanks for that parcel box link, I have never seen those before (well I have I just never understood they had a locking mechanism that anyone could use, so therefore could be used by any postmen/couriers). I will show this to DH and definitely consider, that would be much easier for all concerned.

Does anyone use anything similar? Are all couriers happy to leave items in the box, even if there are no specific delivery instructions?

Check with one neighbour if they are happy to take in parcels for you. Then make a sign for your door/window for delivery companies stating "Please leave parcels with no X, or return to depot for collection/organised re-delivery".

Most companies ask you where you want parcels delivered (drop down list) so you have to specify neighbours.

They also give a box for any other instructions.

You're taking the piss.

Massively.

'AIBU?'
'Yes'
'But, but, but...'

I have stuff left in our little outdoor shed.
But it's not visible from the road and we're rural.
It's only a problem if stuff has to be signed for.

So not an answer for everyone.

Are all couriers happy to leave items in the box, even if there are no specific delivery instructions?

maybe ask them not random strangers on the net

"Please leave parcels with no X, or return to depot for collection/organised re-delivery".

Which points out that the house is empty...

You or your partner need to collect as soon as you get home, or failing that ring your neighbour and tell them when you will collect. However, if you order knowing you won't be around, why not arrnage for it to be delivered to work, friend or family instead?*

Sorry to be making excuses again - but just to explain:

-I don't order for a named date delivery to home if I know we won't be in
to receive it (named dates go to office or I work from home, although most places that do named dates also seem to do collect+ and I pick up from the local shop).

-No local family or local friends who aren't also at work full time.

-We always do collect immediately we get home providing it is a reasonable hour. But given we don't know the exact date packages will be delivered, or the exact days we will be required to work late, sometimes it's been the next day or a couple of days later.

I think now if this happens we will drop a note round to the neighbour same day saying thank you and letting them know when we will try to call back.

I think the area we live now is very different to where we used to live and we're still adapting. If our neighbour sees us coming in at 8pm she has been utterly shocked we're only just getting in from work - but for me that means I've had a quiet day!

We have a parcel safe. it is marvellous. Now most parcels are left in there unless they are huge. When we order stuff we put in the instruction box that the parcel can be left in the parcel safe. I am lucky that I can have stuff delivered to work so we do that for signed for stuff. Our neighbours will take stuff in but this rarely happens since we got the parcel safe.

Get a parcel safe or choose a weekend delivery day.

OP, My cut-off for knocking on neighbours doors is 9pm unless their living room lights are on, then I might go 9:30pm

I know this isn't very helpful given the thread dilemma, but I was thinking that's still quite late. I wouldn't go past 7pm, especially on dark nights.

OP - it took me one search on gogle to find this
www.collectplus.co.uk/

I know about collect+ and always use it when the option is available (amazon orders always go to my nearest collect+ pick up point for instance).

If most of the people on a street are out during the day, then those at home do unfortunately end up becoming the parcel office for the street.

You say they'll only get 1 a month of your parcels, but it's likely they get quite a few of other people's as well.

My evenings are for relaxing, not for being a mail delivery centre, so I wouldn't want neighbours coming round for parcels after about 7pm.

You could get yourself a P.O. Box

www.royalmail.com/personal/receiving-mail/po-box

Or you could opt out of Royal Mail "delivery to neighbour" by calling 08456 113 420. They'll send you a small sticker for your letterbox. Then the postman/woman won't try to deliver your parcels to your neighbours, or to deliver your neighbours parcels to you. They'll put a card through your door instead.

www.royalmail.com/delivery-to-neighbour/

When you get the "Something for You" card you can arrange re-delivery online, for a date that suits you, or go to the sorting office

www.royalmail.com/personal/receiving-mail/redelivery

I understand that the secure parcel boxes are widely used and safe but they are not suitable for deliveries that require a signature. I have left a note on my front door addressed to the deliveryman giving him written permission to leave a parcel without getting my signature. I give details of the parcel, the date, address and my signature. I am pretty sure if you do this they will then be able to leave the parcel in the secure parcel box.

For those worried about notes or signs highlighting the fact the house is empty you just have to position the note slightly out of site. The fact that no one answers the door if someone rings the bell makes it pretty obvious you are out.

It's also useful to have a larger than average letterbox. We have a larger than average one put in our new front door.

We have a parcel safe. it is marvellous.

This does sound like a great idea, and will definitely be looking into it.

I also don't like anyone calling at my house after about 6 or 7. I find it irritating.

I started saying no to accepting parcels, and the delivery men got quite snippy about it.

I know, this is unbelievable isn't it? They say thanks in a really sarcastic voice or get all huffy

I know this isn't very helpful given the thread dilemma, but I was thinking that's still quite late. I wouldn't go past 7pm, especially on dark nights.

Gosh I'm almost never home at 7pm. I think I'm still going through culture shock that I live in the 'burbs now and rules are different.

Why are you bothered about your receptionist at work dealing with the parcels, but not your neighbours? At least she's paid for it.

I've not lived in a suburb, so don't know about rules, but I have lived in cities and are now in the middle of nowhere. I think after teatime, for us, it's a case of baths and bedtime. I know this sounds daft, but I've often changed in to pyjamas or slobby stuff for the night. I might have a hair colour on or a face mask. I don't know... I just want to be in for the night with family.

I know for people living alone, or who are elderly they don't want to be answering the door after it gets dark either.

I'm surprised how many are allowed to have personal mail delivered to work, it's never been allowed at any of the places I've worked at.

For normal size packages, e.g. clothing or similar not beds or furniture I would never even consider whether I'd be in or not when ordering and 90% of the time I don't know what day the delivery will be anyway. If a neighbour wants to be neighbourly that's great but I'm quite happy for them to refuse and it go back to the sorting office. In fact often the sorting office is more convenient as I can pick things up from there at 6am!

I really dislike taking parcels in. It's not because of inconvenience, it's the unwanted responsibility - What if the item is damaged? I bet the courier company would swear blind it was fine when they left it. What if it's not clear who it's for? Then I'll be in the middle of a legal dispute. What if my dog pees on it? I didn't want it in the first place....

If it's as regular as you say it is then you are taking the piss.

In which case you need to reassess your buying habits and adjust to something that imposes less on your neighbours.

Have items delivered into store if there is one near you, have it sent to a relatives address, or choose named day delivery and make sure you are in.