About neighbours taking in deliveries for us?

[Plateofcrumbs]

DH and I both work full time, often long hours. We do a large chunk of our shopping online (clothes, stuff for the house, books) which often results in courier/Royal Mail deliveries whilst we are out being left with a neighbour.

There are a few people on our street who are often in during the day so packages don't always end up with the same people - maybe once a month is the most any neighbour gets.

We always collect packages as soon as we can but because of long hours this is sometimes not the same day, sometimes a few days. And we've had a couple of occasions where couriers have not left cards so we haven't known about parcels until the neighbour has come round to us.

One neighbour is always a bit pointed with us when she takes in deliveries, particularly if we are not straight over to pick them up, and makes us feel like we're being a bit of a nuisance.

AIBU to be so reliant on neighbours goodwill, or is she being unreasonable to make a fuss?

Are you saying people should only shop online if they can stay home 24/7?

It depends whether it stays in proportion. No-one is saying don't be neighbourly - of course most people don't mind taking an occasional parcel for a neighbour. In return, the neighbour should collect it promptly at a reasonable time (not several days later at 9pm), ensure it doesn't happen often, is suitably appreciative and makes sure they do something for their neighbour in return.

In particular don't take your neighbours for granted and assume that just because they're at home, they don't mind getting everyone else's parcels (everyone thinks they're the only one whose mail is left with you, but they're not).

If someone's ordering a lot of things for when they're likely to be out, then it's more considerate to have a sticker saying not to deliver to neighbours, and be prepared to go to the post office or re-arrange delivery online. Or get a parcel box or a PO Box. It's just good manners not to impose on other people too much.

Jaynebxl the op has said they OFTEN shop on line and work long hours... it is not about the odd package where community spirit is undoubtedly valued and appreciated.......

people who order lots and are never home to accept delivery should make arrangements.. not assume people don't mind the imposition....

I think what's tricky is that as someone pointed out earlier there seems to have been a policy change. We knew previously that if we weren't home we would get a parcel card and be able to either rearrange delivery for when we would be in or go and collect from the post office. We never get a card like that now, just a card telling us where they have hidden the parcel or which neighbour they have left it with.

I take in a lot of parcels from quite a wide circle of neighbours. I don't mind-even when it was a huge parcel which took 2 people to carry-the grin from my neighbour's ds was worth the space-it was his birthday present, and he thought it hadn't been delivered and would have to wait.

However I would get very irritated if someone didn't come to collect it same day, or next day at the very least, on a regular basis. I would probably refuse to take it in if that was happening often.

Delivery drivers automatically knock neighbours around here if your not it. I'm more than happy to help my neighbours but I don't ask as the drivers take it upon themselves to deliver there iykwim? I always collect straight away though, I can't wait to open new things!

Oh and just to add, if I take in a parcel and they don't knock during the early evening, I just take the parcel around to theirs so it's not in my house for days.

I am more than happy to take parcels in for people. The neighbour is under no obligation to take them in so I can't see her problem, she could just say no.

Ok, so i can see all sides of this arguement - firstly its your neighbours choice to take in parcels, they can say no, but have a conversation with them. If they are happy to take in they can, if they aren't then they shouldn't. (if its always the same neighbour the occasional pot plant or box of chocs to say thanks wouldn't go a miss). Secondly you should really pop round that night to collect them as long as its before 9pm (thats my mental/social cut off time for knocking on doors or making phone calls).
Thirdly, you can get the items delivered to your work IF your work allows that. If not you can look into alternatives - such as a large amount of online retailers offer 'collect in store', which you can do on a weekend, Amazon offer a 'locker' service and these are placed in supermarkets and petrol stations, you choose your locker location, your parcel gets placed in a locker, you get sent a code to open the locker, and hey presto you can collect your stuff.
Finally i can shed light on the delivery companies. Royal Mail/Parcelforce can quite happily take back to sorting offices/depots, HOWEVER as i work in the delivery/logistics business, the other couriers like DPD, HDN, City Link, Hermes, all subcontract out their deliveres to self employed 'Man and Vans', who get paid per parcel they deliver. Any they take back to depot they don't get paid for, so they're the kind of people that will do whatever they can to deliver the parcel. If they don't deliver it they dont get paid.

I don't understand any of this, you can get stickers from royal mail (that a courier would also see) to opt out of the neighbours thing. Then it would just go back to the sorting office and you also would not receive neighbours parcels.

Do this. You sound like you're taking the mick tbh.

I don't know how far they search but using my postcode there are no results for collectplus or amazon lockers.

I have never had a problem with this, however current neighbour has a delivery nearly everyday to our house and some days it can be 5/6 big boxes at a time. One delivery driver actually advised that she'd given my address as an alternative!! She has never asked if I mind or thanked me.

The annoying thing is, she is self employed so could have them delivered to work. She rarely comes to collect them either. I am cheesed off with it now as I feel she expects it and I am giving a storage and delivery service free of charge....I am starting to refuse (however would still accept for other neighbours as the parcels are few and far between.)

Sil, who works from home, was taking parcels in for a neighbour virtually every day. She did it without complaint. Come October, she asked the neighbour I'd her dds could knock at her door trick or treating. The neighbour said no. So much for reciprocity - sil never took in another parcel.

I don't think YABU.
It's not down to you that items are left with neighbours. I assume you'd be happy to collect from sorting office if required.
I'm always home and am usually happy to take parcels. If it's too big or for a house too far away I just tell postie in unable to take it.

I don't mind popping a parcel over but would prefer it collected. If I were you is pop to the neighbour in question, thank then for taking your parcel and assure them it's ok to refuse your parcels in future.

Someone on our stair has got an over sized letter box so a whole lot more stuff can go through the box. Something like this combined with a note telling drivers to take undelivered stuff back to the depot may ease the stress on you and your neighbours.

Would something like this help op?

See I managed to do an entire post without sniggering about sizeable flaps. I'm dead grown up me.

I have a parcel here for my neighbour, taken in by a relative when I was out. My neighbour is travelling and wont be home for another 2 months!

I am fed up of seeing the bloody thing in my hall and if it turns out to be damaged, the neighbour wont be able to get a refund or complain because the parcel would have been delivered for months before the neighbour even got to open it.

I dislike being responsible for other peoples stuff. Admittedly the neighbour (who is lovely) didn't ask me to take in their parcels and it was probably something they expected to be delivered before they left, but my relative didn't know they were away and now I'm stuck with it and worried about it being something they might need to send back.

That's not your problem though, Louise. You've done as much as you can by taking it in; if it had got sent to the sorting office instead, the same would still be the case about them being able to return it. If your neighbour is reasonable then they'll be pleased that you've taken it in and looked after it for two months!

I took in parcels for my ndn for years but nearly always had to take them to their house as they wouldn't come for them.
I stopped when i realised their unemployed daughter was always in (she does not ever leave the house) but she doesn't like answering the door so they put my address to save her the bother.