To be angry with DH on his return from registering the birth of DC2?

[PetiteMum]

Ok it's not anger, I'm actually livid. We both decided on first middle and surname of our gorgeous DD. Now MIL has mentioned a name that I was not keen on. DH did not mention that name at all..... Lo and behold he returns from the register office with a certificate bearing two middle names... He put in the name that MIL mentioned as a second middle name!

I was so angry that he did this without consulting me that I called the office straight away and will be deleting the extra name, which he said ok to after seeing my reaction.

It's the principle of the matter! Who did you have the child with? Me! Who suffered 3 days of induced back to back labour with just gas and air? Me!

I'm so mad I can't think straight. I'm not talking to him at the moment and don't know what to say, if anything.

that's bloody awful.

Nah she's actually quite lovely. But took our marriage grudgingly as she wanted him to marry his own ifykwim

It is shocking, dh would never hear the end of it from me. One of my family members actually did this, leaving a now 18yo with a ridiculous middle name that he now hates - I never heard what his mum had to say about it!

It's a long winded name I can't even spell without looking at the certificate again which will anger me more

Outrageous but can I ask why you didn't go with him? It's an essential ritual.

Is it a nice name? Could be a funny story in 20years, maybe 30years...

I didn't think fathers were allowed to go without the mother to register a child, only the other way round.

Married fathers are.

I think it's a completely antiquated system that allows husbands to register a birth without wives being present.

YANBU

We registered our second child today. We all went together but if for some reason I hadn't been there I'd be furious if DH used it as a chance to sneak an extra name in!

He really broke your trust doing that - not on at all.

i would be fuming too , maybe his balls dropped off from being tied up with his mothers apron strings .

Oh dear. What on earth made him think this would be a good idea? My husband is very close to his mum but would never consider doing this. I wouldn't do the same to him either if my mum liked a name and he didn't. It just wouldn't occur to either of us.

Still, take heart in the fact that my friend's dad mis-spelled her name registering her birth while drunk and she was forever stuck with a silly spelling of a well known name. It has driven her mad her whole life. Now that is really stupid.

Yes they are allowing deletion of the extra name. No I don't like it and I'll be damned if she keeps it

YANBU. What the actual hell?

Oh dear.

Yes, I would be livid, too.

Fortunately you have a certain amount of time during which you can change the name you register . The law understood something about men and their fuckwittery when they made that rule, didn't they?

He seems to have realised his mistake, accept his apology, and then when you have all calmed down talk to him about being a family with YOU now, not his mother, and you make decision s together, as a team.

Congratulations on the birth of your dd.

is it a family tradition or just a random name MIL likes? not that the former means his actions are OK. they are absolutely NOT.

I know 2 people who have the wrong/not intended name on their BCs - one the dad did not know how to spell the name they had decided on, so he guessed (and got it wrong, so it looks like one of those made up spellings). The other the dad had a mental blank when asked to spell the (perfectly normal)name out, so he went with the abbreviated version instead! Neither mum was happy at the time.

Also my dad didn't bother getting my full birth certificate 35 years ago because it would have cost a few pence. My mum is still annoyed about it now as I was her PFB.

I would be so beyond livid. God I'd probably change her surname too maybe don't do that, it probably won't help

rubyroo we might know the same friend with the annoyingly misspelt name

I'd be mad too! Went to school with a Jeniffer after her dad spelt her name incorrectly.

DH went alone to register DS, I was breastfeeding on demand & couldn't be arsed getting ready & going with!

Wow!
although I did exactly the same x3 in a fit of pique at having to drag baby, then baby and toddler, then baby and 2 toddlers to the registry office

My grandad mixed up my mum's first and middle name. She found out when she went to secondary school and got caned for not answering the register.

"I think it's a completely antiquated system that allows husbands to register a birth without wives being present."

Why? Either parent can go on their own to the registry office if they are married. If they are not married, the mother has to register the birth, with the father having to attend to put his name on the certificate.

YANBU. What a fucking spanner; does he not like having testicles?

DD's names are (name not used by either family)(MIL 2nd name)(maternal aunt/SIL middle name)(my surname). Had she been a boy the two middle would have FIL 3rd (unusual) my DB4 1st.

We like long names as the recitation of the full set allows a pause before reprimands.

sticky same here, DH went and registered both our boys on his own.

OP I would be speechless - it is such a bizarre thing to do!