To think this is an ok lunch for ds?

[Edenviolet]

Ds1 is 7.

He has some issues with food. Severe allergies to milk, eggs, shellfish and some nuts. He also detests having lunch at school, he hates the smell of the hot lunches and hates sitting near people eating anything that either smells strong or he is allergic to.
He also cannot abide having a lunch box and prefers a clear plastic bag as it "stays clean".

Before the holidays I was trying really hard to tempt him with nice food, pasta salads, cous cous, fruit salad, different crisps etc etc and he was not eating his lunch and getting unwell and hungry every afternoon and getting stomach pains.

I asked him last week to tell me what he would eat and I'd get it if he promised to eat all of his lunch every day. He told me a few things he will eat and I made his lunch last night:

A small bottle of water
A packet of ready salted crisps
Few slices of cucumber
Small apple
2 fruit shortcake biscuits
Alpro chocolate milkshake

Dsis was at my house, she took one look at ds lunch and said "what is that? If that's his lunch its appalling"

I didn't think it was too bad ? He eats a decent breakfast every day either porridge made with soya milk, potato cakes or tea cakes and a drink of water. I just want him to eat some lunch at school.

It will keep him going in the afternoon better than an empty stomach does.

I suppose careless it cannot hurt going to the gp if op is worried about it. Careless just being nosey, do you have a child with allergies as you know quite a bit . In perspective, it's one meal a day, so what, if it means he eats and is with his peers without being excluded than so be it. Yes I agree careless, the allergies gave probably contributed to ds issues around food and have developed a fear I case he dies eat the wrong thing

Yes near I agree, the soggy sandwiches in cling film, and this pool of leaky flask water at the bottom of my bag making them cold and soggy

A couple of snacky things to try instead of the biscuits, btw: Fruitus bars (pretty much a low fat dried fruit flapjack - all the sugar comes from the fruit) and 9 bars (have a little added sugar in, but full of seeds and some are topped with carob - they're really filling and packed with protein)

If you have even the slightest bit of confidence baking, you could make banana muffins - I used a BBC recipe that's easy to make dairy free, has only a little added sugar and survives having that amount cut down. I make them to sneak a tiny bit of fruit into DS2's diet!

For the people talking about making him learn to make do with what he's given, it's hard enough with children who have food phobias, but almost impossible when you can't be with them to support them as they work through their aversion.

I've got a family member with severe allergies too. As an adult they actively avoid eating out and confine visits to restaurants they trust. They also exhibit similar levels of anxiousness about food hygiene, strong smells etc. so I agree with Carelesstalk

If it were my child and I could facilitate home lunches then I'd try to have him eat at home 2-3 days a week. If on the other days, he eats the type of lunch you outline above I wouldn't stress about it. 5 days a week with crisps and choc milk would be too much for me though, even if he eats a lunch at 3 and a full evening meal later. As he gets older and more confident with controlling his food, he will widen his options I am sure.

Crackers? Nature's Store do corn crackers where there are 3 packed together inside a bigger box. Could he eat those or similar as not opened before he needs to eat them? DS crackers are good too.

My son has multiple allergies too and I am lucky he eats well. He does prefer wraps to sandwiches as he prefers if they are room temp or a bit soggy rather than normal bread.

I always took potato salads when took lunches to work as I don't like soggy sandwiches either. Could you put some boiled potatoes, bit of ham chopped up, tomatoes, carrots, and humous etc in a plastic box? Let him choose his own container from a shop?

To avoid contamination at school, we use sandwich wraps - cloth-type things that unfold to make a makeshift placemat. Makes me and DS happier that his food doesn't touch the table. They let some air in too so not the sort of plasticky smell that a lunch box can have.

Can understand smell of school dinners :( Horrid smell.

The dried fruit things like Fruit Bowl Fruit Peelers are also really helpful here when we've not baked recently.

If he has allergies, you should also have access to NHS dietician. Perhaps get DS to talk to them about his concerns and any questions to let him start to take control?

My dear nephew has aspergers and has always had issues around food. I just support my sister in her managing the situation with her son.

I'm my careless, so you know your stuff. Some great suggestions from others later in this thread

could he have the neocate advance at lunchtimes? plenty of calories there

It's not at all appalling, but of course it's not ideal. Like you say it's about what he will eat though. Maybe replace the biscuits with buttered oatcakes or those sweet oatakes even - you can get ginger ones.

Sorry for suggesting butter - I mean soya marg

I have read most of the thread, but not all, so apologies is someone has brought this up already.

Might your DS be on the autistic spectrum, perhaps? An lot of his sensory issues around food are the same as my DS at that age - but lucky for us (and him), without the dairy and egg allergies to complicate matters.

He is 16 now and still a bit sensitive to smells (certain noises too sometimes) and is still a bit regimented in what he will eat, how it's prepared.

When small, DS wouldn't eat certain things if they touched other things on the plate, hated smell, very smooth textures, smooth things with lumps, would only eat off certain plates etc etc. in the end he had exactly the same packed lunch every day for about 5 years... 2 baby bell cheeses, a carton of smooth oj, a sausage, a biscuit and an apple. He liked it to be in the same tub, the same brands, didn't like any variation at all.

The school did not like it at all that he frequently complained at the smell of vile cooking (in his opinion) wafting into the classroom, and also that he complained that the packed lunch area was contaminated (in his opinion) with food debris from the school lunches. I had many a phone call about it.

I think it's more important that he eats SOMETHING at lunch rather than taking a healthy lunch he doesn't eat, but I think you need to get some fat/protein into his lunch if you can- it will keep him going longer in the afternoon. Will he each cheese alternatives? Coconut oil in food? Cooked cold sausages?

I've only recently found out that soya might not be a suitable food for children, especially boys because of the plant-based oestrogens.

Very old link here circa 2006 to an article about soya in processed food. So sorry that I have not read the whole thread yet (will do later).

hi, it is obviously difficult but I would just bring him homw for munch every day if possible , not long ago loads of children went home for lunch, I think, if you are going to bring dd home it would be best to bring both home, i know it means more school runs but might be better in the long run

I agree that calories are more important than nutrition.

I do also just want to add that large blood sugar fluctuations are a big migraine trigger for me, and for a couple of other people I know who get them.

I wonder if this could be a factor for your DS, OP? That means no lunch is bad (low blood sugar being the worst trigger) but also that too much sugar or refined carbohydrate may not be good either. Just something to bear in mind.

So with the food you listed I'd drop the Alpro drink in favour of a bottle of water. Perhaps have almonds in the packed lunch instead of at breakfast, and experiment with wholewheat crackers that he could have some days instead of crisps.

As to coming home for lunch, I can see the downsides but as school lunchtimes are difficult for him, seeing his sister going home for lunch but not being able to himself might just be too hard. So when she goes home, I would take him home too.

I would look harder at healthier options. Ask him to make a healthier list.

What about home made soup, whole grain crackers, chicken thigh? Flapjack for a healthy sweet treat? Just ideas.

I agree you need to see some kind of dietician to work your way round things.

He definitely has some sort of problem with smells/lunchbox issues/eating with others etc but dd1 did as well and for 3 years would nearly be sick if she had to eat near other children and she just grew out of it and was then fine. Se only has nut and shellfish allergy though so it was a bit easier.

Ds does have a lot of funny little ways and we do have to keep a close eye on him but he seems to be coping with day to day things mostly, only lunch is the big problem.

Is he allergic to goats milk/butter ? I assume so since you refer to Neocate but just thought it's worth checking. I've never tried soya butter but goats butter works as a good cooking substitute for my dairy allergic family member. I make a tray of high fibre flapjacks if they are visiting as it staves off any grumpy food lows.

Obv a flapjack is off the charts in terms of sugar and fat but made with jumbo/reg oats mixed, raisins and nuts it would keep him going and perhaps if he helps to prepare it, it might help with the phobias?

You as ds mother obviously knows what suits him, the main thing is that ds is happy and stress free, if that means his lunchbox is limited so be it! You obviously have tried different options and they have not worked

I agree you need to see some kind of dietician to work your way round things

Why? She's working her way around it just fine. Her child has a good and varied diet outside of school. The issue is solely school lunches due to sensory issues that cannot be accommodated and the logistics of food packaging.

As a parent of a child with a list of about 10 thing she will eat and then only given the right circumstances ( no mixing together for example)
I am quite happy for her to eat anything she wants ( within reason) as the alternative is for her not to eat at all. Her diet is balanced and healthy but very repetitive.
People generally don't know the difference between a fussy child and one with actual food phobias, to be fair neither did I before I had one!!
As long as he has a balanced diet then variety doesn't really matter.

Sorry. On MN and doing dinner so haven't read whole thread!
Could you find a lunchbox that could go in a super hot dishwasher?
One with different sections to keep food apart?
Would school let him eat in a separate room?