To think this is an ok lunch for ds?

[Edenviolet]

Ds1 is 7.

He has some issues with food. Severe allergies to milk, eggs, shellfish and some nuts. He also detests having lunch at school, he hates the smell of the hot lunches and hates sitting near people eating anything that either smells strong or he is allergic to.
He also cannot abide having a lunch box and prefers a clear plastic bag as it "stays clean".

Before the holidays I was trying really hard to tempt him with nice food, pasta salads, cous cous, fruit salad, different crisps etc etc and he was not eating his lunch and getting unwell and hungry every afternoon and getting stomach pains.

I asked him last week to tell me what he would eat and I'd get it if he promised to eat all of his lunch every day. He told me a few things he will eat and I made his lunch last night:

A small bottle of water
A packet of ready salted crisps
Few slices of cucumber
Small apple
2 fruit shortcake biscuits
Alpro chocolate milkshake

Dsis was at my house, she took one look at ds lunch and said "what is that? If that's his lunch its appalling"

I didn't think it was too bad ? He eats a decent breakfast every day either porridge made with soya milk, potato cakes or tea cakes and a drink of water. I just want him to eat some lunch at school.

The school said he could eat in the medical room if he wanted but ds said he didn't want to eat near poorly people or smelly food so not sure what to do.

Its tempting to just walk and collect him then take him home for lunch.

Ps, I have migraines triggered by certain smells (like Tarmac, petrol, paint) and I'm sure it's almost like an allergic reaction. My head starts pounding, the light hurts and I feel sick as a dog. If that was my reaction to food, no way would I be eating it!

Occasionally he will eat breadsticks. He seems to prefer things that are 'dry' or packaged in little clear sandwich bags and he will not ever drink juice at school only water in a clear bottle or an alpro milkshake.

I would look at that lunch and think "Really? A parent thinks that's an OK lunch? It's full of salt, sugar and not much else!" But given the circumstances, I'm not sure what else you can do. Have you spoken to the school about it? Is it possible for him to eat his lunch outside of the main canteen?

He is on medication for the migraines (pizotifen and rizatriotan for any breakthrough migraines) but the food smell still seems to trigger them (as does candied peel in food or anything that smells like tea tree oil or if we turn the light on too quickly in the morning).

OP - sounds like you don't have much choice. How about bread sticks with a mini (ready packed) pot of hummus - would he go for that?

OP - if that is what he will eat and has said he will eat, stick with that. Make sure he gets protein in his after school snack and dinner, as you are doing.

It's all very well posting about the perfect and ideal packed lunch but as he obviously has both sensory issues and allergies I think you have handled it very well in negotiating a lunch that he will eat.

You need to consider how balanced his diet is over the average week or month and also take into account his levels of anxiety and general well-being.

Whether one meal in isolation is balanced is neither here nor there.

Ah yes, the butter is a problem. You must be pretty stressed out trying to find solutions. Hope it gets better. Think if you can replace the crisps somehow and give the soya bar instead of the shortbread, that'd help.

Yes I think you are doing the right approach, giving him things he will eat is getting him used to at least eating a lunch and then over time you can try and introduce new things.

I'd be pretty annoyed if my sister called it appalling knowing what issues you have.

You're doing well and the best you can under difficult circumstances

I would think that's its the best thing you can do then under the circumstances, I can really sympathise with your ds. I remember feeling horror at eating at school, best of luck.

It's not an ideal lunch, but given the cirucumstances and his diet the rest of the day, then it's fine I think. Those alpro chocolate milkshakes are full of sugar though, maybe just normal soya milk?

On first glance it may not look like the best lunch (hence your Dsis's reaction - though I assume she is well aware of his dietary requirements?) but based on what you have said with his allergies and feeling unwell due to smells etc, I think that's ok as long as the school doesn't have any rules about no chocolate/crisps etc and he eats well for breakfast and dinner. If he will eat those things you pack him that's far better than eating nothing, surely - especially if he is underweight?
I would maybe explain to the school though just in case.

Would he eat some carrot sticks, grapes and cherry tomatoes with his cucumber?

Could you supplement the fruit shortcake for a homemade scone - plain, or a few sultanas to try and cut down the sugar?

Put the potato cake in the lunch bag, or some oat or rice cakes? Breadsticks instead of crisps a few times a week?

I'd be quite concerned about the migraines. What has the GP said?

Perhaps he can smell the plastic lunchbox and yesterday's food or detergent on it.

Poor thing - my sense of smell is heightened during migraine and I know how awful it can be. You are trying your best op. don't beat yourself up.

Hmm. Homemade jerky? Might satisfy the dry and protein criteria. Pretty easy to make, too.

I think you are doing OK. The only thing I would do is write a note to class teacher explaining what is in lunchbox and why. Ask the teacher to inform the lunch time staff so that your child is not singled out.

Children who eat school meals leave what they don't like, if you took what they are saying and out that in a post it wouldn't look ideal either.

Do what you can to get him to eat op, and like pps have said, give him more nutritious dinner.

Ignore sis and snotty posts.

There are also some good recipes for paleo trail mix floating about that might be useful. What nuts is he allowed? Can he have honey and coconut? Does he like dates?

If he eats a good breakfast and you think of this as a snack and his sandwich when he gets home as his actual lunch, then I think it's OK. I might leave out one of the sugary things and the crisps on a rotating basis, though, IYSWIM: so one day it's crisps, cucumber, apple, biscuits, then another day add the milkshake and take out the biscuits.

Longer term, though, are you addressing his food issues?

What about dry crackers instead of biscuits, and plain soya milk?

I get that he has issues, and that you're struggling but I don't think it's ideal to let a seven year choose that they will only eat biscuits, crisps and a milkshake for lunch. Sorry.

He cannot eat brazil or cashew nuts. He loves almonds and often has them with porridge and honey for breakfast.

I tried putting potato cakes in once and home made cheese free pizza (which he loves at home) but he cried and said it was soggy and disgusting and he couldn't eat it.

Its quite sad to see how hungry he gets, before Xmas he ran out of school one day absolutely starving, unwrapped his sandwich and took a bite then dropped it. He completely broke down as had been looking forward to it so much, his teacher had to come over and help as he was beside himself and she told me how all afternoon he had been feeling dizzy and hungry.

Every year they repeat his allergy tests and have said at some point if its negative he will be allowed to do a food challenge in hospital.

He has neocate advance every night before bed it other than that I'm not sure how to address things, he does eat really well at home, plenty of fruit and veg, soya yogurts and dinners like casserole, roast dinner, spaghetti, cous cous, pasta, etc.

As others have said, it's not an OK lunch from a nutritional point of view but it is better than eating nothing. Can you add something like sliced chicken or ham to add protein?

Why, exactly, will he not eat a chicken sandwich at lunch time but will eat it after school? Can you address these sort of issues instead? I think they're more important to fix than what he actually eats at lunch as they will limit him in many ways. In a way, I think fiddling with what's in his lunch box isn't the real "problem" that needs solving.

I think it sound fine considering the circumstances. I really sympathize with him regarding the migraine & smells. I suffered with terrible migraines as a child & am still very sensitive to certain smells.