I know I am - but I'm so tempted to exact my revenge

[Revenger]

I have never gotten on with my SIL. She's always been nasty to me in a very underhand way. I never confronted her in order to keep family peace. But the final straw came at my wedding where she went out of her way to spoil it for us. There was lots of things but the worst was bringing up my husbands affair. I knew about it, five years had passed and we'd moved on. So she had no good reason to mention this at our wedding.

Anyway, her wedding is booked for this year and I've recently found out that her soon to be DH has shagged one of her bridesmaids. He's had other affairs, but I don't think she knows about this one.

I really want to say to her at the wedding, 'I really admire you and DH. You've got such a strong relationship. I mean, I don't think I'd have been able to have one of my friends as bridesmaid if she and my husband had been having sex' . This would totally play on the fact that she harps on about how her and DP have a better relationship than basically anyone else, but particularly me and DH.

I know this makes me sound evil. I'm not in general but I want to get her back for the years of crap she's put me through.

So, WIBU to do this?

If you haven't been invited, just leave it .... What goes around comes around.

No, I wouldn't tell everyone.

I'd pull her to the side like she did at my wedding. I think she had it planned as she started off by complimenting me and then started her sky attack. Like I said, she did other horrible things at the wedding but this stood out to me as particularly nasty.

I think I could live with myself if I stopped to her level once in 12 years.

I'm just guessing I've not been invited. The invitations haven't gone out yet.

Oh just fucking do it then. But you bloodywell better come back and tell us blow by blow what happened..... Some of us have vicarious lives to lead you know...

You say your DHs family hate her yet his brother is the one marrying her?? don't think I understand.
Also why/how do you even know this if you have cut her out of your life since your wedding??

Think you need to get a hobby or something, if she is not in your life she should not be taking up this much of your thoughts/time.

I understand feeling cross/upset/hurt, but to really consider actually doing something like this deliberately to another person is pretty awful.
have you thought about how this would impact on your relationship with your DH and his brother/rest of family too??

I totally get why you want to do this but you know it's wrong.

Maybe next time she goes on about her wonderful relationship you could just smirk and walk away

I absolutely promise to come back and report on what happens if I do it. I really want to but I suspect I'm actually far too nice .

The only repercussions I can think of would be that she'd never speak to me again (bonus), her friends would hate me (I don't move in their circles anyway), DH's family would be secretly pleased but it may lead to arguments (not so happy about this one).

Anyfucker is spot on. Why are you both with men that shag around and then get all competitive about whose husband is the biggest arsehole?

Good god, it's embarrassing.

It fucks me off that she won't ever get her just deserts.

She is, as she is marrying a cock. Every bread finds its butter and she has met somebody worthy of her.

Nobody, and I mean nobody understands why he's with her.

The whole family dislikes her but put up with her for BIL's sake. Even his friends don't like her.

My hobby is MNing . Yeah, I know it's pathetic to want to do it. But it's so so tempting. I don't know why it's not enough for me to know she hasn't got it as good as she thinks.

We only got married last year so it's not been that long. And although I don't speak to her, I still have to endure her company at family events and she's since used my children to get at me.

You could get her out of your life totally if you LTB.

I can't answer for her, but DH stopped shagging about after we had DC. I don't pretend like my relationship is perfect either. She does however, and not in a reasonable way. When we were talking she would constantly compare our DPs. Hers would always be the better one of course. I don't give a shiney shite that she thinks this but I want revenge for the way she has treated me.

Not re

Not realk

I'd fantasise endlessly about doing it but I wouldn't have the balls. Also however horrific she I'd I'd feel guilty afterwards because I'm a softie.

I wouldn't blame you for doing it though :)

Not really carries because she will always be married to my DC's uncle and the mother of their cousins.

Exactly what iwasyoungonce said. It's as if you want to 'prove' conclusively to her that her husband has behaved more badly than yours, when it sounds like a toss-up between tossers.

Honestly, OP, is the reason you hate her so much because a part of her reminds you of yourself? That's often the case when we really hate someone, and there are lots of parallels between you and your SIL, from what you say. Both in relationships with unfaithful men who are brothers, and she rubs your nose in your husband's infidelity at your wedding, so you plan to do exactly the same to her?

If you want revenge then remember 'revenge is a dish best served cold'

Sit on the info and you never know, the Bridesmaid might do the dirty work for you, the groom might fancy a sneaky shag on the day or she'll get bladdered and let the cat out of the bag.

Knowledge is power and all that.

I think the anger is being directed totally in the wrong place.

Agree with buzzard.

Why are you still with a man who's cheated on you multiple times? I think you should be directing your anger at your "D"H.

No, we are nothing alike. She is vile towards me. I could list a few of the things she's done but it would be a long post. It does bother me that she doesn't know her DP is a shit. I hate the fact that she's so smug that DH cheated on me whilst she makes out that BIL is a god on earth. She only knows about one of his indiscretions but she loves to remind me that they were separated at the time so it doesn't count. She doesn't know about the numerous times that were actually behind her back as they were very much together.

I've dealt with DH, it's a separate issue.

Even if DH was the perfect man (like BIL ) I'd still hate her for the way she has treated me.

If she's such a bitch why do you want to act just like her?

The really bestest way you could get the ultimate one over on her is to shag her husband to be yourself and make sure she finds out

Try that

Don't lower yourself. If she's so destructive without cause, why give her any? Keep the moral high ground and keep your beak out.

She may wwell be a bitch, but you are sounding like one too. Revelling in your BILs inability to be monogamous is exactly what she did to you.

Why not tell her before the wedding and why not call your BIL out? For he and your DH are the arseholes.