I know I am - but I'm so tempted to exact my revenge

[Revenger]

I have never gotten on with my SIL. She's always been nasty to me in a very underhand way. I never confronted her in order to keep family peace. But the final straw came at my wedding where she went out of her way to spoil it for us. There was lots of things but the worst was bringing up my husbands affair. I knew about it, five years had passed and we'd moved on. So she had no good reason to mention this at our wedding.

Anyway, her wedding is booked for this year and I've recently found out that her soon to be DH has shagged one of her bridesmaids. He's had other affairs, but I don't think she knows about this one.

I really want to say to her at the wedding, 'I really admire you and DH. You've got such a strong relationship. I mean, I don't think I'd have been able to have one of my friends as bridesmaid if she and my husband had been having sex' . This would totally play on the fact that she harps on about how her and DP have a better relationship than basically anyone else, but particularly me and DH.

I know this makes me sound evil. I'm not in general but I want to get her back for the years of crap she's put me through.

So, WIBU to do this?

Vivi, thank you for completely understanding the situation.

I knew what I was going to get when I started the thread. I'm fine with it as I know in reality I probably wouldn't have the guts to do it. It's nice to run through the 'what ifs' though.

sallying, she'd probably say she hates me too and paint herself in a very good light. She does this in RL too so can't see her changing her story online. I don't even know if she realises how horrible she is. In fact, I doubt very much she realises.

OP do you think you're purged enough with it now that when this thread dies down you'll be able to just put her out of your mind to the point she just becomes another face in the crowd at 1-2 family gatherings a year? Because that's the utopia, isn't it really? And that's how you win....

Are you the cast of Made in Chelsea ten years on?

It all sounds grim. I feel sorry for you op

I would tell the stbh any way, divorces are expensive and I wouldn't want to put him in the position of a messy divorce when he does find out

Perhaps part of her issue with you is that you have repeatedly facilitated her DP cheating on her in your home?

I agree that there nothing wrong with fantasizing about revenge scenarios which you would never actually fulfil IRL.

Stbw I meant

I don't mind people thinking I'm horrible based on one thread . I am coming across that way after all. It doesn't even touch a nerve because it's so far from the truth.

I facilitated nothing. I had only just moved in with DP and it was his house and his brother. I did go mad when there was blood all over the sheets in our bed. And I wanted to tell one woman to stop fucking faking it .

What I didn't do was hint to SIL about what had happened. I stayed out of it. She on the other hand, meddled in our situation and photos would appear after the affair was over, with DH and the ow sat at their house and also in SILs birthday meal. That was fun to see .

I don't think I'd really do it but neither do I think this will help me in terms of how much I hate her. I'm not sure how to get over that if I'm honest.

marshy .

I've never seen it but SIL loves that programme, probably because she aspires to be as loaded as they are.

Did your FIL have affairs or something? Bit odd that your DH and his brother both think it's ok to shag around.

Yes, he's well known in our town for being a serial shagger. He's old and alone now though.

If you don't see her anymore - how is she getting at you? FB? word of mouth via relatives/friends? If so you need to block those channels of communication.

How long has it been since she was an regular part of your life? Surely a couple of years of barely ever seeing/hearing about her should diminish your active hatred for her? If after time has passed and she's still giving you the rage and plaguing your thoughts purely by her actions in the past then you need to take some time to really examine your emotions about it and work through and past it because hating someone is really damaging...

" Bit odd that your DH and his brother both think it's ok to shag around."

Perhaps if it wasn't put up with, they wouldn't do it.

But they've both found women who will marry them despite it.

I stopped speaking to her around 6 months ago and blocked her on fb at that point. She recently did something that was mean to one of my DC though which sparked it all off again.

I hope that once there's some distance between us, then I can truly start to love on. I know I am only damaging myself in the end.

diddl, she doesn't know about her DP's affairs afaik. Just the one when they were separated. Fair dos about me though.

Love = move

I'm sorry but your in laws all sound just awful, as I said previously though that kind of acceptance is something I have seen before. I'd be interested to know whereabouts in the country you live in case they are related!

Tell her but don't tell her at the wedding. Be the much bigger person and tell her before her wedding. She may have turned a blind eye to the other cheating but her bridesmaid might be a step too far.

Well the sad thing is that if he hadn't done it, then she couldn't have mentioned it at your wedding.

If she won't believe it of BIL, then I suppose it's pointless telling her.

But saying something at the wedding would make you as bad as her.

And as you say, you would probably be rounded on & called a liar.

I think your revenge is that you know this information about her husband.

Keep it to yourself, go and fill your boots on the day, knowing that one day she will find out, someone will let it out someday. Then you can say you knew all along. Priceless.

True diddl but it was unnecessary of her to mention it at all. It wasn't the only thing she did at the wedding either. She:

Heckled my dad during his speech
Stood outside all day with a face on
Only ate her starter
Got cross with anyone who mentioned how lucky we were with the weather
Started arguing with my friends - nearly ended in a punch up

That's the stuff I can remember and was told about. I avoided her for most of the day which is why she had to pull me to one side to talk about the ow. In fact, she won't have known if DH has had further affairs as she would 100% have mentioned it if she did.

OP she's getting her comeuppance she's marrying a serial shagger. At some point somewhere down the line she will find out or maybe she already knows.

It won't make you feel better telling her.

But next time she tries to tell you how faithful her husband is and makes digs at your husband for having cheated on you, look at her and laugh. Because you know different.

Well that's true maybe but clearly she was being vindictive by posting the pictures months later when it was all over. I'd just had our first DC too. Spiteful bitch.

Then there was the stuff she did in the run up to the wedding. She just couldn't stand it that we were getting married first. She loves to point out that they've been together a whole year longer than me and DH .

You said she is a bitch (and she may very well be) but you're coming across really badly and seemingly don't care because apparently you are a paragon of virtue all the time except this one time where you are being really damn nasty....?