I know I am - but I'm so tempted to exact my revenge

[Revenger]

I have never gotten on with my SIL. She's always been nasty to me in a very underhand way. I never confronted her in order to keep family peace. But the final straw came at my wedding where she went out of her way to spoil it for us. There was lots of things but the worst was bringing up my husbands affair. I knew about it, five years had passed and we'd moved on. So she had no good reason to mention this at our wedding.

Anyway, her wedding is booked for this year and I've recently found out that her soon to be DH has shagged one of her bridesmaids. He's had other affairs, but I don't think she knows about this one.

I really want to say to her at the wedding, 'I really admire you and DH. You've got such a strong relationship. I mean, I don't think I'd have been able to have one of my friends as bridesmaid if she and my husband had been having sex' . This would totally play on the fact that she harps on about how her and DP have a better relationship than basically anyone else, but particularly me and DH.

I know this makes me sound evil. I'm not in general but I want to get her back for the years of crap she's put me through.

So, WIBU to do this?

I wouldn't do it personally. Neither would I go to their wedding as family or not I wouldn't waste my time on people who didn't like me and who I didn't like.

She sounds horrible, but you would just be lowering yourself to the level that you dislike so much about her.

I wouldn't tell her at the wedding. I'd tell her a few months before and let the shit hit the fan big time.

Obviously, another way to blow this all apart would be to tell the bridesmaids DH...

Tell her in advance, her DH and friend are planning on publicly humiliate her by letting his OW (that lots of other people know is the OW) be bridesmaid at their wedding.

You say your ILs hate SIL, but if he's prepared to not only shag about but humiliate her like this, BIL can't really like her either, he certainly has no love or the tiniest bit of compassion for her. I would also refuse to let your DCs have anything to do with BIL and SIL in the future, these are v fucked up and unstable people.

Do it.

oh and another suggestion of ways to get that "ruining her happy day" feeling, could you do it at the Hen Do? You know, be sat there, say nice and loudly, "Gosh, I think it's so wonderful you picked [slutty bridesmaid] to be your bridesmaid. It's great your friendship hasn't been ruined by her sleeping with [BIL]." then "oh god, I thought you knew, well, everyone knows, surely someone told you your partner had cheated on you with your friend? But you know what, I'm sure once you're married he'll stop sleeping around." (then duck, run)

This of course would just as bitchy and evil, but at least gives her the chance to cancel the wedding, dump BIL and have a nice life. She might end up being a nice person if she wasn't in a relationship with such a terrible one.

You sound like an absolute hoot OP and I'm thoroughly baffled by the amount of virtriol your thread has attracted.

Still, you've shown yourself to good-natured in the face of the Charge of the High Horse Brigade which is to your credit.

Enjoy your revenge fantasies!

Send the card/gift to "bridegroom and bridesmaid" by mistake.

Ah, I can see all the revenge supporters post mainly at night. I shall store this useful information when I start my next revenge thread.

Thanks nauticant. I think being vengeful brings out my good points . I shall be dreaming of sweet revenge tonight.

There's been some excellent ideas here. I like the vol au vant suggestion. Or, I could bake a 'congratulations! Your new husband has had sex with your bridesmaid' cake and gift wrap it. Then punch it.

Or how about a barbers shop quartet ala Monica in Friends? Or a wedding town crier with a difference?

I'm thinking Facebook might be a good way to go. There would be poetic justice in me using that after she posted the photos of DH and ow. Anyone good at photoshopping? I could set a picture of them shagging as my profile picture. Then it would be her own fault for Facebook stalking me.

Hmm, too obvious?

Ha ! @ revenge supporters posting at night.

anybody ?

I wouldn't angle for a wedding invitation, and I know that Anyfucker is quite right, BUT...

I am sufficiently petty and evil to utterly sympathise with you, and I would find it very difficult not to send her a congratulatory card or Facebook message along the lines you have outlined.

You betcha, BOF !

I know you wouldn't though, you are too naice

I'd fucking love going to sleep dreaming about it though

Hey! AF, I'm naice too.

For now at least. I'll allow you to reserve judgement until after the wedding .

Revenger, I think you are naice too, you are just pretending not to be. I also get that your thread is somewhat tongue in cheek and has been from the beginning (hence my "advice" that you shag your BIL 'cos that'd learn 'er...)

I think the friends/family/your husband dynamic sounds fucking awful though and you don't actually sound very happy at all

I wonder if I "know" you under another name...

I would have told her ages ago to be honest.

Yes, you do. You've given me very sage advice before and I'm very grateful to you for that.

And you'll be pleased to know I followed through with all your advice which is why my new plan is to shag BIL .

Oh shit

It would certainly be effective

Win/win/win. You fuck your SIL/DH/the whole toxic bollix of 'em all off in one fell swoop. Multi tasking to the max. < polishes fingernails >

ash just do it, but do it before you get drunk. Sounds like a proper cow.

Do it, op. You have to take your chance at payback when it comes.

Also, 'you're such a strong person, I wish I could be more like you. I would be so upset if everyone at my wedding was laughing behind my back, it's great you can just shrug it off. And to forgive the 2 people who are meant to love and respect you most when they have made you look so stupid is really understanding...you must have strong self esteem to get over that rejection'.

Smile, then leave (fast).

If you're going to fill her in, do it before the wedding. That way at least you can justify it on the grounds of informed consent.

I'd be telling her, the morning of the wedding. But then I had an evil sil that made our weddings like the movie bride wars, only without the friendship, before or after. So now, I'm evil too.

Tell her, but have evidence to back it up.

Don't lower yourself. She sounds like a nasty cowbag

And you would be no better if you did the same to her.

I would suggest a telegram, supposedley from some distant relation who cant make the wedding, for the best man to read out during the speeches