to keep DD home rather than send her to this?

[Sleeplesssister]

My DD aged 3 is meant to be attending an activities session tomorrow which will assess whether she gets into a certain girls prep school that DH is very keen on. Problem is, she has been throwing up since Saturday. DH says that if she manages breakfast tomorrow we should still send her, and that although we could re-schedule, the prep school will probably allocate all its places tomorrow so she will be at a disadvantage if they don't see her...

We will obviously see how she is tomorrow morning, and ask her how she feels about going to 'have a play' at this school, but my heart strings are going at the thought of sending her along when she is not feeling at her best. I went to school abroad so don't know how these sorts of schools work, anyone have any ideas or views?

Saying schools RIGHTLY exclude those with disabilities as they can't do their best for them js just wrong. It is illegal for one thing.

Zzzz..its OK..I knew what you were getting at :)

So if the "main focus is on the parent" does the OP being willing to take a three year old with D&V on a bit of a trip, to an assessment she claims to know little about make her a "normal" desirable parent?

We did not take her...

Hi all,

We hope you don't mind us taking a moment out of the thread to reiterate the fact that disablist posts are against Mumsnet's Talk Guidelines. By this we mean obvious abuse, pejorative language and posts suggesting that it's wrong to implement measures that enable people with disabilities to live a full life.

As well as being potentially disablist, we think that such posts don't fit with Mumsnet's basic philosophy of support and advice for all parents. If you see any posts that you think we need to take a look at on this basis, do please report them to us.

Thanking you. As you were...

Thank you

Well done MNHQ.

Thank you MNHQ.

I'm really confused as to why my post was deleted? If a school is selective, it's selective. I just feel there's a lot of chips on shoulders here about private schools.

We have a school nearby that is exclusively for children with autism. Presumably this points to the fact that children need to be at a school that best suits their individual needs.

I seem to have offended people. This was not my intention. My use of the word normal in a follow up post was loose language, clumsy and was used in haste when I was trying to post and get a zillion things done at the same time. For family reasons I am very familiar with children with special educational needs.
My original post was really aimed at anyone that had either been to one of these things before, or perhaps worked in a school with similar open days. You live and learn. I do however think that there seems to have been a tendency in this thread to think the worst of people. Probably best if I don't come back.

Getting this thread back on track.... Sorry to hear your dd was still ill op

Did the school offer any other dates?

Poppy..I assume it was deleted because you said schools rightly exclude those with obvious SEN.

Just because there are autism specific schools does not mean mainstream schools should exclude children wuth autism.

OP..no need for the passive aggressive flouncing and saying theres a tendency to think the worst of people.

I merely said please don't say that as it is offensive.

I and others have no "tendency to think the worst of people". We do have a tendency to think badly of people who post disablist offensive opinions.

And I am not meaning you.

Ok fanjo good luck to anyone with a child with severe send getting a place at St Paul's, Westminster, Latimer, Highgate, etc etc...

"Tendency to think the worst of people" smacks of the usual PC/SN brigade nonsense.

Op, I hope the school have offered you a new date. Sounds like your dc will enjoy time there - these assessments are nothing more than structured play and nothing to worry about. You'll be able to see whether the school is right for your child

Poppyseed..I dont dispute that. But you said that that was RIGHT.

I dispute that..and also say it's disablist and I am glad it was deleted.

PoppySeed - you don't seem to get that it is generally against the law to refuse a place at a school to a child because they have a disability. The school has to make reasonable adjustments, eg providing a special computer, different coloured paper for a dyslexic child, etc etc. Those rules don't only apply to state schools, with rich families able to buy their way out of their DCs sharing a classroom with disabled children. Though I'm guessing that that's what often happens in practice.
All part of cocooning rich kids against the reality of life with its rich tapestry etc.

Severe sen, not send. Obvs.

My best friends child is autistic. She'd laugh at this. She has no problem with her older child attending a selective school that her younger (austistic) child cannot attend. She just wants the best for both. Oh, and her youngest child is heading to the local state school. The best option for each child according to their abilities, personalities and interests.

My friends child is autistic.

And she would think you have been spouting disablist tosh.

Ok fanjo. I think you'll argue with anything right now.

Any parent understands fighting for their child. But children are all different - and thank goodness for that! Some dc won't get into a cathedral school bdcause they can't sing well enough. That's fine. It's a discrimination I'm ok with. If a child doesn't get into a selective school because they're not bright enough, again, that's fine.

I think there's a difference between "discrimination" and common sense. Again, please explain how my friends severely autistic dc would cope at a highly selective academic school? You're just being hyper sensitive. Children are all equal, all full of energy and potential. And all different!