to keep DD home rather than send her to this?

[Sleeplesssister]

My DD aged 3 is meant to be attending an activities session tomorrow which will assess whether she gets into a certain girls prep school that DH is very keen on. Problem is, she has been throwing up since Saturday. DH says that if she manages breakfast tomorrow we should still send her, and that although we could re-schedule, the prep school will probably allocate all its places tomorrow so she will be at a disadvantage if they don't see her...

We will obviously see how she is tomorrow morning, and ask her how she feels about going to 'have a play' at this school, but my heart strings are going at the thought of sending her along when she is not feeling at her best. I went to school abroad so don't know how these sorts of schools work, anyone have any ideas or views?

Would those who have taken such offence to the use of the word 'normal' in this context have objected if she'd said 'neurotypical' instead? Or if she'd used British humour and said 'checking they don't have 2 heads' ...the last sounds by far the worst to me of the three options...but it's an inoffensive expression when not in the context of children with special needs.

My dd is not normal, we don't do normal and she doesn't go to school because that is normal.
She is odd and we like odd, it's different.
If we were all the same, with the same outlook the world would be boring.
OP did you go after all, or keep her away?

I think if she'd have said "neurotypical" I'd have been amazed at her honesty.

Why would we object to neurotypical?

Im not going to be defensive here.

If I object to my child being called "abnormal' then I think that is fair enough.

What's the long term advantage of sending your child to this kind of school at age 3? Is it that they end up far better educated?

All I know is a friend of mine sent her son from 2.5. As he got older I had to bite my tongue a lot as I was amazed at how poor his reading etc were. Eventually friends could no longer afford the fees and he was whisked out to the local state primary at about 8/9 where he zoomed ahead and ended up at the grammar anyway. Seems they spent about fifty grand for nothing!
My dd's state primary was great, it was secondary that caused the problems. I think that is the case in a lot of places.

And I don't like the assumption that if you want the best for your child you send them to private school.

I don't think that is the general assumption. People do the best for their children according to their circumstances. Whether thats private school, moving next to an excellent state school, getting tutors etc, or topping it up themselves with extra support at home.

YY fanjo I agree. Stop saying normal for a child with no additional needs.

It's offensive, very offensive. Children with special needs are not abnormal. They are children, with feelings. They are normal.

It's been pointed out why it is offensive so please stop using it.

I am with fanjo-I am rarely offended by anything on here-words on screen etc,etc-but what the op said was really out of order.

Assessing 3 year olds for intelligence-is bullshit. Pure and simple.

coco

Oh Blimey.

Sorry - those criteria would weed out most 3 year olds then

Coco. This was about special needs.

Nice to see what else you would lump in with "not normal" though.

Its bad enough to feel upset and offended..why the fuck would we look for it.crass post.

Way to go anyway..just offend people with shy non rnglish speaking kids by saying they are abnormal too.

Perfectly calm thanks. Don't patronise me.

My objection was to people saying it after I said I found it offensive. And so did others.

So anyway, did the op take her dd or not?

Fuck sake Coco. Indeed, not everything is to do with special needs but clearly a post where OP assumed a school was 'assessing for normal' was at best lazy language and at worst deeply offensive.

And while I'm at it, I'm quite surprised you you think spoiled, boisterous, shy etc etc behaviour isn't typical of most three yos...

Some sen are more obvious and schools (rightly) don't offer places to children they are not 100% able to do their best for. See Poppy that may be what it says on the brochure. I would read it as we don't offer places to children who we cba to help and who may impinge on our fabulous track record of exam results.