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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think a grown man should be able to buy sanitary towels?

276 replies

JingleJemJem · 05/01/2014 09:48

My DH won't buy them for me. So even though he does our weekly shop if I need any I have to go out and buy them separately. He says it's embarrassing looking 'in that aisle'.

Today I'm suffering with a heavy period and cramps and need more towels but I can't be bothered having the discussion with him to try and get him to buy me some as I know he won't, so I'm going to have to go out and get them myself.

Do other men behave this immaturely when it comes to 'women's things'? Or is it just mine? If there was a male equivalent I wouldn't think twice about buying it for him!

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 05/01/2014 22:12

There is absolutely no way a cashier could think a purchase was for the person buying. It's pretty a common for people to buy for family or friends etc. As mentioned before, if the wife's in hospital with a prem baby do you think being seen with pads is even going to feature in a decent mans thought process?

Would a person let their elderly mum sit in piss for fear if embarrassment or buy them adult nappies/tena ladies?

I'd buy anything my parents or dp or dds needed and if people want to smirk or invest senarios let them.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/01/2014 22:12

Invent

mrsjay · 05/01/2014 22:14

I have had to collect my husbands poo when he was really ill he can bloody well buy me a packet of bodyform now and again

JeanSeberg · 05/01/2014 22:14

Yeah giggle let's keep perpetuating the belief that periods are embarrassing.

headinhands · 05/01/2014 22:30

So op is expected to be a grown woman, but her dh gets out of being a grown man?

gigglestar · 05/01/2014 22:42

jean how is that perpetuating 'the belief that periods are embarassing'?!! He just doesn't want to be seen buying them and he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to.

giles Some women don't like being seen naked by their partners-are you saying it would be ok for the man to force her to do that even though she finds it embarassing?

I think some women just enjoy making a big deal out of nothing.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/01/2014 22:47

Right a woman's self confidence is not remotely the same thing as a do who won't buy tampons as part of a weekly shop. Confused

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/01/2014 22:53

And it's hardly a big deal out if nothing. If your dp is hitting the shops on the way home and your delayed at work or stuck in traffic or your kids sick in bed , of course you should be able to depend on a partner to add body form to the sodding shopping list.

gigglestar · 05/01/2014 22:54

Really giles?!! OP's dp is obviously not confident buying pads. It's the same thing! Why do mens feelings matter less?

DownstairsMixUp · 05/01/2014 22:58

Who cares about confidence ffs. Sometimes you know, you let things go, to, make things easier for your other half?! I've done things out of my comfort zone when DP hasn't been able to do it, it's just part of being with someone. You help make life a little easier for each other if you can at times. It's really not a big deal! Confused

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/01/2014 22:59

Why does a pathetic bit of needless embarrassment trump the fact that his wife is ill and could use some help? Would you refuse to get nurofen and send your dh out with an absolute splitting headache for fear the pharmacist might think you have a pain killer addiction and won't put it in a trolly when your already there???

DustBunnyFarmer · 05/01/2014 23:03

My H buys my sanpro if/when needed. This topic has prompted a discussion with DH about doing a few more chapters of the sex ed book with our sons, as Ds1 is in yr 4 and some of his female friends are likely to start in the next year or so. We want our boys to know about periods so they don't think its something embarrassing and/or something to tease their friends about.

gigglestar · 05/01/2014 23:04

Giles-that is not the sitiation OP is in. What makes you think that he would refuse to go buy them if that sort of situation ever cropped up in their life?

If that were my dp i would find it hilarious that he was embarassed but i wouldn't force him or make him feel bad over it-i'd just make sure i stocked up beforehand. But then i'm the kind of person who always made sure i had some in case of emergency-mine or friends....

ilovesmurfs · 05/01/2014 23:05

Fgs my 14 year old ds1 can cope with buying me tampax if he is at the shop and I need some, if a teen can cope with it then a grown adult needs to get over himself!

gigglestar · 05/01/2014 23:06

She's got cramps-she's not 'ill'.....so dramatic! :-D

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/01/2014 23:07

Don't you think the act she feels it's even pointless asking, and that he's said it's embarrassing is nothing short if sad and pathetic?

Why should she even have to think about asking?
Why should her partner even have feelings regarding what's a frickin daily purchase for men and women all over the world??

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/01/2014 23:08

Dramatic? Some people have pretty rough periods. It's not a big ask? He's the one that's been dramatic by making a fuss over it in the past.

DownstairsMixUp · 05/01/2014 23:09

Oh shit sorry, I forgot gigglestar is a walking pain chart, she knows EXACTLY what people are feeling when they have cramps. Hmm

Geordiegirl79 · 05/01/2014 23:12

When I was at school, menstruation was treated as a taboo subject and I suspect that as a result there are quite a few men who are embarrassed by tampons etc.

I am a teacher and so glad that now we have a much more open and healthy approach to educating both genders about the changes during puberty and the associated equipment! I think it's sad that he doesn't feel comfortable buying sanitary towels but I imagine it's not uncommon.

Geordiegirl79 · 05/01/2014 23:22

I should add that I do think that, as an adult, if you care about someone you should be able to override your embarrassment to help them out!

UncleT · 05/01/2014 23:25

My own (bloke's) view of this is that he should stop acting like a 12-yr-old and get things his better half needs, particularly when she's not feeling great. Sorry, but he sounds like a bit of a pussy.

gigglestar · 05/01/2014 23:29

So are you saying that where women are concerned mens feelings are irrelevent and they don't matter at all?!! OP already knew this about her partner,it wasn't like he dropped a bombshell on her so she could have easily bought them herself. She had that choice,she didn't HAVE to sit there in pain with no pads.

Like i said before,if it were a WOMAN who felt embarassed or uncomfortable with doing something so natural as being seen naked in front of her partner-would you still think it was ok for the man to force her or ridicule her for it?

MurderOfGoths · 05/01/2014 23:44

Are you really honestly comparing putting a box in a trolley with getting naked in front of someone?

DownstairsMixUp · 05/01/2014 23:47

You may as well bang your head on a wall murder. She wouldnt get the point if it came flying straight at her.

growl3th · 05/01/2014 23:49

LMAO I can't remember the last time TBH bought any sanitary products.