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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think a grown man should be able to buy sanitary towels?

276 replies

JingleJemJem · 05/01/2014 09:48

My DH won't buy them for me. So even though he does our weekly shop if I need any I have to go out and buy them separately. He says it's embarrassing looking 'in that aisle'.

Today I'm suffering with a heavy period and cramps and need more towels but I can't be bothered having the discussion with him to try and get him to buy me some as I know he won't, so I'm going to have to go out and get them myself.

Do other men behave this immaturely when it comes to 'women's things'? Or is it just mine? If there was a male equivalent I wouldn't think twice about buying it for him!

OP posts:
PastaandCheese · 05/01/2014 18:01

Well exactly fryone. I'd hate to think of my DH being so immature my DD couldn't ask him to get her san pro if needed.

Thankfully I know he will be fine when the time comes after I sent him out to buy maternity pads with the phrase 'the thick mattress ones as I need the cushioning' ringing in his ears.

FracturedViewOfLife · 05/01/2014 18:23

DP has bought me Tampons and Cannesten. I can't think of anything he wouldn't get if I asked him to.

phantomnamechanger · 05/01/2014 18:29

I sincerely hope my DDs meet partners from families where periods have just been seen as something normal that mums/sisters/GFs have and that their DPs are not pathetic and squeamish about it.

DHs knowledge of things like this leaved a lot to be desired, I am certain it was never an open matter in their house when he and his siblings were growing up, mores the pity.

When DS is old enough I will make sure he understands and is sensible about stuff like this so he will be a catch for any of your DDs.Wink

The only time DH was embarrassed about buying anything "personal" was going into Boots on holiday for some condoms whilst carrying a kicking screaming 18 month old under his arm. he felt they were looking at him thinking "yeah, I'm not surprised you want some of those" Grin

qazxc · 05/01/2014 18:33

I think it ridiculous he expects you to go to shop to buy them if he is there doing the weekly shop anyway. Surely the aisle he is on about isn't that huge and with the toothpaste/shampoo/shower gels etc....
DP has bought me pads in the past, he needs exact description as to which ones, but I'd say that's normal as he doesn't use them himself.

thisismyYuleTimenickname · 05/01/2014 18:46

phantom Grin

softlysoftly · 05/01/2014 18:59

YANBU DH not only buys them but when I was going through the most horrendous MC in an understaffed hospital he both checked and changed them as I was nearly unconscious from blood loss and morphine. He was the one who spotted the haemorrhage and alerted the Drs, so good job he's adult enough to cope.

On a slightly lighter note I'm still chuckling st orange and tampax several posts back, he sounds like a lovely bloke bless!

PresidentServalan · 05/01/2014 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DizzyZebra · 05/01/2014 19:29

katespeed My brother went out for sanitary towels and came back quite proud of himself and ran through his method of choosing the best one. He said;

"Well, i noticed they all have tear drops on the packaging, like hotel star ratings, so i am assuming that the tear drops work the same, so i got the one with the most tear drops on, is that alright?"

Bless him.

I just remember my OH did buy some after i had ds2 because i was still sore. I didn't have to heart to tell him (after he spent twenty minutes selecting packet) that maternity pads would have been preferable.

cathpip · 05/01/2014 19:32

My dad was brilliant, bless him 3 daughters and a wife. He was regularly sent to the shops, didn't need to tell him which flow to buy either!! Luckily dh is the same, doesn't matter if it is maternity pads, sanitary towels or tampons, he knows which ones to buy without asking.

goodasitgets · 05/01/2014 19:44

My dad will buy them happily, and my FWB has bought them for me. Although we did have a discussion when he said "so people use condoms when a woman is on her period because that's when she gets pregnant, yeah?" Confused
I had to use diagrams and everything to explain

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 05/01/2014 19:47

DH now knows which ones to buy, though will ask which colour I am short of. It has never been an issue.

RaRa1988 · 05/01/2014 19:55

I shouldn't ever be an issue imho. I've always thought if a man is mature enough to have sex with a woman, he's mature enough to understand and deal with periods - whether that means buying sanitary protection, bringing hot water bottles and paracetamol, or not minding getting a bit of blood on him during sex.

BettyBotter · 05/01/2014 19:55

FGS it's not like anyone's going to think they're for him, are they? Hmm

Presumably he's happy enough to get involved in your business end when there's something in it for him.

GatoradeMeBitch · 05/01/2014 20:26

I always thought buying tampons/towels would be like a stealth boast for men? He's proving he has an actual sex life! Confused

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/01/2014 20:28

Surely that's assuming that the check out staff actually care what they are ringing through Confused

FoxyHarlow123 · 05/01/2014 21:23

I've never had a man in my life who has batted an eyelid about buying tampons. From 17 yr old lads all the way through to my current partner now. If any guy had ever been 'squeamish' about it, it would have been a goodbye from me. I like a 'hearty' man, not a wilting little flower who can't cope with women's bodies.

SpottyDottie · 05/01/2014 21:25

How pathetic. My DH has bought them for me without batting an eyelid. I've asked him to buy them even if that was all he'd be getting from the shop.

Your DH sounds immature tbh.

Mim78 · 05/01/2014 21:31

My husband will buy them with no problems, which I have always thought was a v good sign.

He does need specific instructions, and will often come home with light purple rather than dark purple (completely wrong!) though...

I think your DH needs to buy them. What's to be embarrassed about? The shop assistant it hardly going to think they are for him! Should be proud that he has someone to buy them for!

headinhands · 05/01/2014 21:33

Do you have dc's? Does he buy them nappies? No, it's definitely unreasonable. There's nothing womanly that my dh wouldn't be happy to get for me. Although yesterday I asked him to pick up some Nair bikini line remover and he came back with the facial hair one. What's he trying to say!?

Ledkr · 05/01/2014 21:36

My three sons would pick them up for meat around 12 yrs old.
It's very strange and old fashioned these days for a guy not to buy them.

mrsjay · 05/01/2014 21:42

My dh would buy them but i would need to tell him exactly what to get he would buy value nightime ones but he will get them for me if I asked him I have been with him 20 odd years and have asked him a handful of times though but he isnt ashamed or goes all silly boyish , op your husband is being a prat ,

jellybeans · 05/01/2014 21:44

DH has always bought mine with no probs at all if I need them and he is on way back from work etc. He also has 2 teenage daughters and buys for them if needed. None of us in the house are embarrassed by these products or buying them.

hestergraysgarden · 05/01/2014 21:55

OP do you have daughters? What the hell is your DH going to do when they go through puberty? Will it be some kind of household conspiracy, keeping the sannies out of Dad's sight unless he accidentally sees one and catches periods?

You are most definitely NBU. My DH couldn't care less who saw him strolling down that aisle, and used to buy them when he did the weekly shop. Although oddly, he was always embarrassed about buying condoms!

I was brought up by my Dad and he used to buy tampons etc. It was never really discussed beyond me telling him if I'd run out. Perfectly, boringly, normal.

gigglestar · 05/01/2014 22:03

So some guys find it embarassing-big deal. You're a grown woman with a brain,why can't you stock up on them beforehand given how he feels about it?!!! How would you feel if YOU were being forced to do something that you found embarassing?

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/01/2014 22:07

And what would that be exactly giggle?

If dp needed something I'd get it. I worked in a chemist once, people bought all sorts and it took prescriptions for all sorts? Did I giggle or get embarrassed? No of course not.