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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think a grown man should be able to buy sanitary towels?

276 replies

JingleJemJem · 05/01/2014 09:48

My DH won't buy them for me. So even though he does our weekly shop if I need any I have to go out and buy them separately. He says it's embarrassing looking 'in that aisle'.

Today I'm suffering with a heavy period and cramps and need more towels but I can't be bothered having the discussion with him to try and get him to buy me some as I know he won't, so I'm going to have to go out and get them myself.

Do other men behave this immaturely when it comes to 'women's things'? Or is it just mine? If there was a male equivalent I wouldn't think twice about buying it for him!

OP posts:
KareKare · 05/01/2014 10:03

That is utterly ridiculous and pathetic.

My dh phoned me from tesco yesterday to say they didn't have the tampons I use. I could hear my 15 year old son in the background saying 'no dad, they're here - Lil-let's super plus'!

ChasingSquirrels · 05/01/2014 10:04

Orange tampax is v v funny

LouSend · 05/01/2014 10:04

Blardy phone.

My Dh was a bit like that when I first met him. He would never come with me into the feminine hygiene aisle. He'd never been properly taught about human biology and reproduction and it was all a bit embarrassing for him, though why I don't know.

Anyway, I had a mc shortly after we were married. Heavy bleeding, cramps and a desire to hide myself away for a couple of weeks. I knew the turning point had come for him then when he realised sanitary towels were necessary and that I simply wasn't able to buy them myself. He actually offered to go out and get some for me.

These days he just adds them to his list if I ask him to.

I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone. But Dh learned to see things from my point of view.

I agreen with a pp. Your Dh is being unreasonable and if he has a 'hers' and 'mine' list of shopping items then perhaps you should stop buying things from 'his' list. Let him see how immature and inconsiderate he is being.

nennypops · 05/01/2014 10:05

Tell him it takes a Real Man to be able to buy sanitary towels, and refusing to do so is a well-known sign of being a total wimp. Maybe he will then regard it as a challenge and go for it.

notallthere · 05/01/2014 10:05

How is it embarrassing? Clearly he's not the one having a period?

But give him some guidance (brand, absorbency, wings/ no wings, colour etc)

pumpkinsweetie · 05/01/2014 10:05

Fgs how pathetic! No different to buying toilet roll imo!! Woman have periods, it's a fact of life, why on earth can he not bring himself to buy something which is of essential need to his wife??

I would refuse to buy anything 'male' related from now on, until he realises how stupid he is!

Fwiw my dh has bought me all manner of 'essential' items from sanitary towels, to disposable knickers, maternity towels, canestan, pregnancy tests & even anusol!Grin

PenguinBear · 05/01/2014 10:06

My dad was always the same growing up, drove my mum mad!

PacificDogwood · 05/01/2014 10:06

If he was out shopping anyway of course he should've got them Hmm.

I've bought pile cream for DH in the past, he's bought all sorts of sanpro over the years.

I think your DH needs to have pointed out that he lives in the 21st century tbh.

pinkyredrose · 05/01/2014 10:06

Christ OP is he 8?

Lairyfights · 05/01/2014 10:07

Haha I think everyone on here will probably laugh at me ... But my DH HAS to buy my tampons and towels because I can't! I don't know what's wrong with me, I just get so embarrassed getting them! I'm ok if I'm with him but if I'm on my own not a chance!

So I suppose I can understand where he's coming from!

MrsJoeHart · 05/01/2014 10:09

My friends and I decided back in our twenties that it was a sign of a good man if he'd willingly buy your tampons. I think my DH quite revels in the 'new man' nes of it if I ask him. I honestly think my 11 year old DS would if I asked (which I won't), dd's openly talk about having their periods and he says he's just pleased he won't have to have them.

flipchart · 05/01/2014 10:09

Flippin heck I used to ask my dad to pick them up for me when I was a teenager in the early 80's and he did with no problem.

A couple of months ago myb17 year old son picked some up while he was in Tesco express getting milk and toothpaste.

What's wrong with your DH?

Riddo · 05/01/2014 10:14

DH will happily buy them but needs an essay on the shopping list despite me using the same brand for 20years. Not much embarrasses him though.

MrsMangoBiscuit · 05/01/2014 10:14

DH has bought them for me before. Just read your OP out to him and he said your DH needs to get over it and stop being such a prude. He then grinned and said "LTB!" he's very proud he managed to use that in context. Bless him.

I would guess it's either blood or gentials that embarass him? Can't be genitals if he'll buy condoms. Perhaps ask him if he would buy you a packet of plasters? Then tell him he's being ridiculous.

LouSend · 05/01/2014 10:14

Of course, if he refuses, you could cut up his favourite shirt and stuff your knickers with that instead.

Should get the message across.

JustAnotherChristmasBauble · 05/01/2014 10:16

My ex was slightly like this... Except he could never remember which ones I wanted so would casually put a selection in the basket with 3 or 4 newspapers to hide them. Then he'd go bright red at the checkout. But at least he bought them!

DP will buy anything but usually texts me if they haven't got the specific ones in to see which alternative.

YADNBU

Casmama · 05/01/2014 10:16

My dh is the opposite- used to go to the supermarket with his sister and shout down the aisle"do you need any tampax?"

Actually that is equally childish so not really opposite at all Blush

Ememem84 · 05/01/2014 10:17

I think dh would if I asked. But he would need very specific instructions. I've never asked though.

Binkyridesagain · 05/01/2014 10:17

My DH will buy them no problem, he knows which tampax to buy but would struggle selecting sanitary towels so I do have to tell him. DD even sends him messages to buy them for her.

VikingVagine · 05/01/2014 10:19

Some men do have issues with this for some reason. I remember my dad getting so flustered if I added STs to the shopping list.

DH grumbles a little when he has to buy them, and he usually comes home with incontinence pads instead, but he'd never refuse to get them, that's just ridiculous.

HicDraconis · 05/01/2014 10:21

DH checks the aisle every time and picks up a few packs when they're on offer. I've never had to ask him to get them since he took over the weekly shop, they're just always on the shelf when I need them :) Think it's just your chap, OP!

(Completely not-stealth boasting!)

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 05/01/2014 10:22

Isnt it odd. They'll happily stick their dick up there but have an attack of the vapours at the thought of a tampon.

I fail to see what the big deal is about the shedding of womb lining.

I dont understand the coyness/revulsion around periods, it's baffling. Other bodily functions are private but dont get the same sort of reaction. Why is that?

Rikalaily · 05/01/2014 10:22

Dp will buy them, sometimes he picks up the wrong ones but he has no issue going to get them. I think it's very immature for him not to get them, there's nothing embarrassing about buying them once you get past the age of 14.

DownstairsMixUp · 05/01/2014 10:23

He sounds like me when i had my first period and went into buy towels and spent about 10 minutes in the shop and bought baby food for no reason at all as i was embarassed about getting them. I was 13 though!! (looking back now people probably assumed i was a young mum Blush) DP has grabbed some towels/tampons for me when he has been out, he even knows which ones to get. He is a grown man so doesn't get embarassed by women's periods. Hmm

ethelb · 05/01/2014 10:26

My DP hangs my reusable sanitary pads out to dry if he unloads the machine and they are in there.

He does insist on calling them my 'fanny pads' but I think your DP could perhaps go and pick up a little plastic wrapped packet.

(completely not stealth boasting too)

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