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AIBU?

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Original poster

to get the rage at thin-ist comments?

287 replies

BasicFish · 03/01/2014 23:26

Am I??

Seriously, just over the last few days, I've seen so many comments slating thin women and it's starting to piss me off. I would never dream of making sizeist comments, firstly because I don't think being a certain size (or not) makes you attractive.

But a brief list of the thin-ist comments I've come across this week.

"Most men don't go for size 8s"
"It would be like shagging a folding deckchair"
"some skinny little cow"
if he wants you to lose that much weight and be that slim, he must be gay"

etc..

If anyone tried to same the same about, say, size 18s they'd be slaughtered and rightly so. So why is it ok to pick on women who are slim? Not "anorexic" (unless they really are of course, which is a completely different issue), women who are just naturally slim and small. Why? WHHHYYY??

OP posts:
louwn · 04/01/2014 18:35

My mother in law posts this kind of stuff on facebook all the time. The stupid cartoons about 'dogs like bones, real men like curves'. All it does is glamorise obesity.

WorraLiberty · 04/01/2014 18:35

Dancing you're agreeing with the OP's gripe, but accusing her of stealth boasting at the same time? Confused

If you agree with her gripe, then surely you agree she has a right to voice it without accusations like that?

Just because the media equates slim with beautiful, doesn't mean the OP should put up and shut up.

DancingLady · 04/01/2014 18:40

Enough with the angry faces...

Yes she has a right to be angry about thinnist comments, but can she appreciate that the sentiment behind them is likely jealousy? Also, surely it'd be better to nip those comments in the bud and respond immediately rather than stew on them? If people make a comment about your size, call them on it.

Society is, and has long been, thin= beautiful and attractive. That's the only point I'm making by comparing thinness to beauty.

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism · 04/01/2014 19:03

I'm jealous of some of my friends beauty

Do I say - eww your face is a really odd shape- or - you know men prefer xxx colour eyes? Or you need a better hairdresser?

No I don't. I say 'you look stunning' or nothing. It's not that hard.

revivingsnowshower · 04/01/2014 19:15

Maybe you don't euphamism but there are plenty of people who find a way of being bitchy to a pretty girl.

Sesquipedality · 04/01/2014 19:48

Dancing. Sorry you're wrong. Curvacious, large bottoms, big bosoms have all been fashionable at times through history.

Dancing & Angela. Sorry I believe you're both wrong. This isn't a competition. Racists/sizeist comments are all just WRONG. Ditto Pain, offence, grief, they aren't on some objective scale. It isn't a competition. I'm afraid that if you choose to arbitrarily Rate pain/offence in this debate, then in my book that makes you complicit.

Ppeat - Thanks.

OP - you go girl.

Sesquipedality · 04/01/2014 19:56

Sorry my comments to prolific poster Angela were in relation to the comment below

"Fat women get contempt. Thin women get jealousy. Both are bad, but let's all be honest here, contempt is far worse."

DancingLady · 04/01/2014 20:00

"Throughout history" is key - big bums and big boobs are not desirable and fashionable now. Kelly Brooke (mentioned earlier) is not an example of a curvy woman - she's a 10-12, ffs. Hmm

DancingLady · 04/01/2014 20:01

Sesq - see my posts. I said that all sizeist comments are unnaceptable.

Sesquipedality · 04/01/2014 20:10

Dancing - your posts are loaded with preconceptions and judgements.

Eg "And I'm sorry, but this thread does smack of "I'm just naturally beautiful, why do women hate me?" Accept your genetic good fortune; ignore the haters."

If I wrote "enjoy your big boobs, stop moaning about your muffin tops. Men hate scrawny women, the like something to hold on to. Accept your good fortune." I'd be flamed and rightly so.

Sorry. But saying that and hoping if you add "but all size it's comments are acceptable" is a nonsense. For me, fwiw, you're part of the problem and exactly what the OP and others here are angry about. And to make it worse you keep trying to justify your comments.

Sesquipedality · 04/01/2014 20:11

Sizeist

Bonsoir · 04/01/2014 20:12

OP - relax! It's only the green-eyed monster Grin

DizzyZebra · 04/01/2014 20:12

YANBU. I know a woman who posts shit memes about it constantly. "real men like meat, only dogs go for bones" is a recent one.

The best part is, she is constantly dieting, taking drugs to be slim, and will happily insist any girl larger than her who confronts her over some shitty thing Shes done is jealous of her amazing body, and call them fat bitches.

The mind boggles.

Sesquipedality · 04/01/2014 20:16

Bonoir. offensive comments just hurt. That's all.

30SecondsToMarsBars · 04/01/2014 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DancingLady · 04/01/2014 20:21

Sesq. You're not getting it. You're deliberately twisting my words - I said "enjoy your genetic good fortune". You think this equates to "men like something to hold onto" or similar?! Baffled. Really.

MarshaBrady · 04/01/2014 20:21

There are few people that really are curvy. That waist to bust ratio.

Joan on Mad Men for eg. Or Kelly Brooke. Not everyone ends up like that when they put on weight.

Bonsoir · 04/01/2014 20:23

Indeed. If I put on weight it goes to my thighs, hips and tummy. No hourglass effect whatsoever!

MarshaBrady · 04/01/2014 20:24

Me too. I have to be slim otherwise I just get a podgy tummy.

I'm not going to morph into a Joan.

boodles · 04/01/2014 20:31

Dancing I am not slim because of my 'genetic good fortune' but because I work fucking hard at it at the gym and watching what I eat. I have lost over 100lbs to be the weight i am now.

Also why should slim ladies have to constantly take shit about their weight because they are what the media think is aesthetically pleasing. I am pissed off with people thinking it is ok for me to be called anorexic. Or to give me a pittying look if I refuse pudding.

Goldenbear · 04/01/2014 20:45

I agree with Dancinglady.

One poster listed their diet for the day as an example of how they can eat what they like. If I ate that diet for the day I would lose weight. If I walk a lot which is easily doable in the city I live in, the weight falls off me over night! My problem is that I don't do either of these things and that is why I remain a size 14 post DC. My point is perception is everything and I'm not convinced that numerous people are naturally thin. There was credited research done on the subject of being 'naturally thin' and they found that it was a tiny percentage of the population. What is more influential is environment, upbringing and not nature or genetic fluke!

As for looking younger as a result of being thin- I don't understand how that is an insult and I don't believe that it is something only thin people hear a lot. People think I am younger than I am and I was ID'd regularly until about 34. I am 36 now it I did get asked for ID before Christmas- I am a size 14 so in no way thin! My Mum was not allowed to see an 18 film when she was 27- it is genetics IMO and nothing to do with weight!

Sesquipedality · 04/01/2014 20:48

Dancing. FFS. You make assumptions that give away too much. You assume slim people are happy. You assume slim people have a positive body image. Because they are slim. Some are. Some aren't. judging anyone on size, ie be happy your slim, it's what the media/ fashion like is ignorant, cruel and thoughtless.

Let's put the following statement you made earlier, to someone with an eating disorder, who is so thin, they're killing themselves.

"And I'm sorry, but this thread does smack of "I'm just naturally beautiful, why do women hate me?" Accept your genetic good fortune; ignore the haters"

So it's ok, woman with eating disorder, The media think you look fine, so you should be grateful, get over it.

Really Dancing. Take a step back and think about it. Just stop the sizeist thought pattern and all will be revealed. You might even feel liberated.

Goldenbear · 04/01/2014 20:48

That's not to say people should be derogatory of a slim woman but I can't say I've ever heard this in real life. There is a lot of pressure to be very thin- that is something I've heard in RL!

Sesquipedality · 04/01/2014 20:55

Dancing and Goldenbear. Can I beg that you re read the OPs opening post? This isn't about big small, which is best. It was about slim people being offended that people comment on their size. No judgements were made at all.

Angus99 · 04/01/2014 20:59

I think sesquipedailty has hit nail on head here. Feeling unconfident about your body is not the preserve of fatter people. The tone here from some people has become: "Yes of course people are rude about thin people too sometimes, but they should get over it. Fat people however have something genuine to be upset about."
Should we tell the skinny teenager who worries about having small boobs and small bum to snap out of it because at least she's not fat? Body esteem issues are agony for people who have them, whatever the cause
Obviously there is more mockery of fat people than thin people. So what?That is irrelevant if you are the thin person on the receiving end of comments.