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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get the rage at thin-ist comments?

287 replies

BasicFish · 03/01/2014 23:26

Am I??

Seriously, just over the last few days, I've seen so many comments slating thin women and it's starting to piss me off. I would never dream of making sizeist comments, firstly because I don't think being a certain size (or not) makes you attractive.

But a brief list of the thin-ist comments I've come across this week.

"Most men don't go for size 8s"
"It would be like shagging a folding deckchair"
"some skinny little cow"
if he wants you to lose that much weight and be that slim, he must be gay"

etc..

If anyone tried to same the same about, say, size 18s they'd be slaughtered and rightly so. So why is it ok to pick on women who are slim? Not "anorexic" (unless they really are of course, which is a completely different issue), women who are just naturally slim and small. Why? WHHHYYY??

OP posts:
ppeatfruit · 07/01/2014 09:52

I'm thinking of starting a thread in Chat about good (no diet foods or gloop) unorthodox short cuts to weight loss would you be interested SamU2?

Sallystyle · 07/01/2014 11:59

sure would.

Goldenbear · 07/01/2014 12:39

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism, ok to put in another 'simple' way- someone who can consume all of these things you outlined in your last paragraph, do little exercise I.e. nothing other than walking required to get from A to B and still not put on a pound! It has nothing to do with their enviornment, they were just born that way. I don't know anybody like that and that would probably be because the percentage of people who are like that is very very small!

Goldenbear · 07/01/2014 12:43

I'm not talking about 'slim' people though that way 8 stone in referring to people that are verging on underweight or are underweight but can still eat a lot and don't put on weight!

Goldenbear · 07/01/2014 12:44

Should be 'that are' not 'that way'.

ppeatfruit · 07/01/2014 12:46

Okay SamU2

summersblue · 07/01/2014 12:59

The thing is though, it's not just skinny people who get negative comments about being too thin. I'm 5'2 and 9 stone, so not skinny at all. Yet I sometimes get comments from larger people telling me I'm too thin, need to eat more, etc Confused

Goldenbear · 07/01/2014 13:00

Belize, I have never met you so I stick to my original statement of never having met anyone who is 'naturally' thin and I'm referring to my own understanding of 'naturally' thin that I outlined above.

clockunwise · 07/01/2014 13:29

There is a new thread in chat discussing Lucy Beale again. Just out of interest has there been many threads on MN started about celebs who are gaining weight?

I made a similar point on that thread.

whattimeisitanyway · 07/01/2014 13:45

Goldenbear/ Belsize-I'm naturally slim too (BMI between 19 and 20). I eat a lot (much more than most people I have spent any significant time with) and do little exercise (I do walk and run around after several small children). I do eat healthily though in the main (no junk food as I dislike it, don't really like high fat food but do eat cake/ chocolate).
Some people just do have higher metabolic rates and burn off more calories than others. I used to be surprised at how little other slim people ate but now I realise that it is me who is more unusual.

I haven't had many 'thinest' comments made to me but I do find that some people assume that I eat v little.

Goldenbear · 07/01/2014 13:57

High fat food has a significant impact on weight though. I lose weight quite easily if I don't eat high fat food and still eat chocolate, drink quite a lot of wine. I was very apathetic about it all post DC2 but decided before Christmas to lose weight and stick to it and I have lost 17lbs eating less fat but still having chocolate and wine. My point is that a liking for high fat food means I am overweight by a stone. Do you not think not liking high fat food has a bearing on you being naturally thin?

UntamedShrew · 07/01/2014 14:06

Goldenbear - I like high fat food and I am thin. I drink full fat milk, we get through tons of butter, I have chocolate every evening. I think I just don't eat quite as much high fat foods as others, maybe... I often get to lunch and realise I haven't eaten breakfast, for example. I don't mean to diet or starve myself, I'm just very busy (3 DC under 5 and my own business!). When I do eat, I eat a big meal or a big piece of cake, but I reckon if you added up my daily calories compared to those of someone who eats lots of low fat snacks, we would be roughly similar overall. I know genes play a part too, I am from a thin family. I don't spend a single minute thinking about good food and bad food - I just eat whenever I get a minute to myself and that isn't often :)

Anyway I didn't really come on here to talk about my diet, just saw the title and thought YES! It really gets on my nerves all this "love your curves", "real women have curves" etc etc. I am not at all what you would call curvy but I am very much a real woman and strongly resent any implication otherwise! Thank you for starting this thread, and I am sorry that you've been upset my more personally aimed thin-est comments. IGNORE!

whattimeisitanyway · 07/01/2014 16:19

Goldenbear- when I said high fat, I meant crisps, doughnuts, creamy sauces, fat on meat, etc. I do eat full fat yoghurt, cheese and lots of nuts, avocados, etc which are high in fat. I don't think our bodies are designed to eat lots of junk food anyway.

Overall, whatever you may think, I do eat far more calories than most people of my size. Today, I ate a bowl of porridge for breakfast, followed by scrambled eggs with peppers and two pieces of toast. I snacked on nuts and chocolate, then ate a cooked meal for lunch (lamb, rice, veg), followed by full fat greek yoghurt and more nuts. I have now eaten a wholemeal bread roll with butter and jam and an apple. I will eat a cooked meal this evening (healthy but large portions) and a glass of wine.
You are right that the majority of slim women over 30ish are either careful with their calorie intake or exercise vigorously on a regular basis but incorrect that this applies to everyone.

struggling100 · 07/01/2014 16:26

It is not OK to make negative comments about any body type!

Is it OK to make positive comments about thinness? I sometimes tell my friend (who is gorgeous and slim as hell) that I am not listening to her moan about gaining totally invisible weight when I have a spare tyre I can lend her! Smile

bishbashboosh · 07/01/2014 16:34

Thinner is generally healthy and more desirable

So anyone who slags off skinny people are jealous as they're putting u down

I go running and am into food, we eT well, plenty but well

U run most days early and still get people telling me I'm mad, I'm not mad I am
Disciplined and care about my future life and health!

I also don't want to feel like I look fat or don't fit in my clothes

These face book style posts are Never put out by thin people

I am fit and strong

I do t care what anyone looks like. And believe me my hubby thinks I am absolute perfect, my inner confidence from being fit and strong adds to it all

Go me, go skinny person

Ev1lEdna · 07/01/2014 16:43

I think the last post on this thread BIshbashboosh is fairly indicative of a very casual unpleasantness towards people who have put on weight. As I said earlier in the thread I abhor any kind of negativity about people's appearance but I also hate the subtle implications that anyone who is overweight is lazy, undisciplined and don't give a damn about their health or future. It is an erroneous and completely half-assed group of assumptions to make about anyone based on appearance. Pisses me right off. If anything is lazy - it is that kind of thinking.

Ev1lEdna · 07/01/2014 16:44

*don't should be doesn't

Chippednailvarnish · 07/01/2014 16:46

Thinner is generally healthy and more desirable

Says who?

Isn't this the whole point of this thread? What gives anyone the right to decide what is or isn't attractive. I don't have the right to make stupid insulting comments about anyone else's weight, regardless of whether they are fat or thin.

bishbashboosh · 07/01/2014 16:49

Am I reading this right

Thinner is healthier and more desirable you are kidding yourself if u don't agree! Bmi exists for a reason. Nhs statistics exist for a reason.

Do people want to be fat really?

By the way I said generally.

bishbashboosh · 07/01/2014 16:51

Also I was saying how that made me feel because I am disciplined, I never said anybody wasn't, it's up to the individual to mKe that decision about oneself

Chippednailvarnish · 07/01/2014 16:52

What's your definition of thin?

And how do you decide what other people desire?

bishbashboosh · 07/01/2014 16:52

I also didn't mean desirable as in to the opposite sex I should have said@being thinner

I certainly know most men prefer curvy and healthy women

Chippednailvarnish · 07/01/2014 16:53

What's your definition of thin?

And how do you decide what other people desire?

Chippednailvarnish · 07/01/2014 16:53

What's your definition of thin?

And how do you decide what other people desire?

bishbashboosh · 07/01/2014 16:55

A healthy bmi is thin . You can't define it in words but most people know themselves if they're around the weight they should be. Most people settle at a base weight

It's just funny how thinner people shrug off the insults but larger people jump on the bandwagon