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AIBU?

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Original poster

to get the rage at thin-ist comments?

287 replies

BasicFish · 03/01/2014 23:26

Am I??

Seriously, just over the last few days, I've seen so many comments slating thin women and it's starting to piss me off. I would never dream of making sizeist comments, firstly because I don't think being a certain size (or not) makes you attractive.

But a brief list of the thin-ist comments I've come across this week.

"Most men don't go for size 8s"
"It would be like shagging a folding deckchair"
"some skinny little cow"
if he wants you to lose that much weight and be that slim, he must be gay"

etc..

If anyone tried to same the same about, say, size 18s they'd be slaughtered and rightly so. So why is it ok to pick on women who are slim? Not "anorexic" (unless they really are of course, which is a completely different issue), women who are just naturally slim and small. Why? WHHHYYY??

OP posts:
DancingLady · 05/01/2014 07:36

Sesq - clearly I'm directing my comments at the OP. who said she's naturally thin. And who posted a food diary stating a typical days eating - loads of crisps, biscuits etc. hence my comment about genetic good fortune.

I can't work out if you're being deliberately obtuse or if you're enjoying twisting my words. Either way, you're coming across as a bit hysterical and a bit daft, accusing me of saying and believing things I haven't said and don't believe.

Belize · 05/01/2014 09:04

That picture of Olivia Palermo is lovely, now she is slim and beautiful Smile.

DameDoom I really feel for you as someone who also has very little appetite and a tiny capacity for food. It really is very depressing isn't it?

HowlingTrap · 05/01/2014 09:34

my gm had this issue she used to wear 2 pairs of knickers to try and puff herself out a bit. (in the 30's/40's`)

Joysmum · 05/01/2014 09:43

I am still the same person at size 8 as I am at size 22. Says more about other people that the way I am perceived is so different depending on my current size.

Says it all that my hubby is the ONLY person who doesn't see me any differently proving he's the one who sees and appreciate WHO I am rather than what my body currently looks like.

HowlingTrap · 05/01/2014 09:44

As a big girl myself I think a lot of it is insecurity, I see bigger women and tbh i think people can see its insecurity,

overweight women are such a marginalised, stimagtised acceptably part of society and think everyone is judging, every minute of everyday , and feel everyone is waiting to criticise them, so its probably more like getting in there first.

That doesn't condone it btw, just explaining its unlikely to be jealousy more insecurity, defensiveness.

HowlingTrap · 05/01/2014 09:48

i see bigger women do it that should say,

revivingsnowshower · 05/01/2014 10:01

damedoom I feel very sorry for anyone who is struggling like you are through illness. I actually lost my appetite recently when I was ill and the weight just dropped off me. I lost a stone in 3 weeks and this was forcing myself to eat 3 meals a day. Being 5 stone over weight this was sort of good, but I can see it would not be good if you were at a normal weight to start with and it kept up for years. Do you have some sort of high-calorie high-nutrient drink you could sip on throughout the day? If you are not feeling that healthy and not looking well maybe you are lacking in some nutrients?

ppeatfruit · 05/01/2014 10:25

Thanks worral it didn't used to be taboo in our family but maybe I've tried to support them (dh and dd2) too enthusiastically Blush Grin

ComposHat · 05/01/2014 12:19

I can see where you are coming from. I remember when Beth Ditto from the Gossip came onto the scene, some journos were raving about how great it was that a large woman as a role model for young girls bought up on images of size zero models.

Whilst Beth Ditto is great for many reasons, being massively overweight isnt one of them and it certainly isn't something to aspire to. She is probably putting her health at risk just as mich as an extremely thin woman.

PoshPaula · 05/01/2014 13:47

dochudson right with you there. 'Real' women or 'womanly curves', those kind of descriptions are really offensive. I consider myself to be a real woman and very womanly (whatever that means, feminine I guess) even though I am thin. To imply otherwise is ridiculous.

MarshaBrady · 05/01/2014 13:52

Exactly PoshP. I feel great when I feel slim (and a bit grumpy when I don't). Feminine for sure. Even without being curvy. And it's how we feel with our own bodies that counts.

DameDoom · 05/01/2014 20:33

reviving I have high calorie/nutrient drinks but I can barely stomach them. I have had all my vit/mineral levels checked and I am fine in that respect, it's just that now I have such a miniscule appetite. I try to graze throughout the day and I'm not unhealthy according to my doctor Confused I just think food is one of life's great pleasures and to gain no enjoyment from it is a real shame.

Sister77 · 05/01/2014 21:03

I get this all the time. More fat on a chip, there's bigger than you in Ethiopia. The latest is dogs like bones men like curves, I was tagged in it on FB. I pm,d the "friend" told them I was really insulted and deleted and blocked them. Now numerous friends have told me I'm hypersensitive and it's a "backhanded compliment"! Really?! So if I called her a fat cow (I have had a prev thread about this where I did call her and another girl) is that acceptable? Because I'm joking?
So I am going to re add her on FB, post a pic of a cow and tag her in it.... See how she likes it (not really ain't got the guts to do that).

revivingsnowshower · 05/01/2014 21:16

dame it is easy to forget that we are lucky to have that pleasure of eating good food when you are struggling with a diet. I know I was quite pleased at first when my appetite went and I lost weight but I was sort of pleased when it came back again and I could eat my dinner without forcing it down. If only we could get it just right so we can enjoy food without wanting more than we need though.

ppeatfruit · 06/01/2014 10:24

reviving Paul Mckenna HAS made me slim along with other ways of eating though. I eat high quality food and i enjoy it but it is a specific TYPE of food.

IME there is no easy peasy answer unless you do have a propensity towards slimness in your genes.

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism · 06/01/2014 11:12

"I honestly don't know any naturally thin women and I live in one of the 'healthiest' places in Britain- according to the media. I know thin people of course but they all have to work at being that way."

I don't know what you mean really. The 'natural' or 'unnatural' thing doesn't make sense. If you mean many slimmer people exercise and eat carefully, then surely that's more 'natural' than doing no exercise and eating crisps, chocolate and drinking baileys on the sofa all night. (ahem)

WorraLiberty · 06/01/2014 11:28

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism that is so strange?

I live in one of London's most deprived boroughs and I know absolutely loads of slim people who don't 'work at it'.

They just tend to eat when hungry and stop when full

I suppose when you think about it, that was nature's intention anyway.

WorraLiberty · 06/01/2014 11:30

Whoops! Sorry ghostly you were quoting someone else Blush

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism · 06/01/2014 11:34

I've got to remember to put quotes in bold !

Belize · 06/01/2014 12:33

I'm 'naturally' thin whoever said they didn't know any 'thin' people Hmm.

I don't work at it at all it's just the way I am.

Sallystyle · 06/01/2014 13:14

I have been on both ends. Quite fat (size 16 at 5 foot 2 and every pound showed) and slim.

I never got so many negative comments until I was slim. I was told that I must be anorexic, I looked like a little girl. I was told that my husband must feel odd having sex with someone 'girl like' like me Hmm

I once had a man say to my husband 'I bet you would prefer to have something to grab onto' which did not go down well.

This was by so called friends FFS.

I was really shocked by how people thought it was ok to tell me I looked like a little girl or accused me of being anorexic. I wasn't even that small.. I weighed 8 pounds 4 which at my height is perfectly healthy but because I am naturally small built I did have tiny legs which made me look smaller but I still wasn't underweight at all.

I think it just goes to show how bigger we are becoming when a 5ft 2 person at 8 stone is looked at as anorexic looking instead of a normal healthy weight. Either that or it was just plain jealousy.

I also got loads of comments about how lucky I was. I worked hard to get to that weight, really hard. Luck had nothing to do with it. Genetics are not on my side.

I gained some back, not a lot and it is going again but enough to stop the comments it seems.

The only thing I will say about anyones appearance is 'You look lovely'

PoshPaula · 06/01/2014 13:24

On the positive side... I do find that the comments about my weight have become less frequent as I have got older. Now that I am in my mid forties people just seem to accept that I've never been fat or overweight and they no longer feel compelled to tell me to 'eat more' or reassure me that 'I don't have to worry!' when I say no to sugar in my tea (I just don't like sugar in my tea. Yes, really).

choceyes · 06/01/2014 13:48

I think it just goes to show how bigger we are becoming when a 5ft 2 person at 8 stone is looked at as anorexic looking instead of a normal healthy weight. Either that or it was just plain jealousy.

I wonder what they would think of me then! I'm 5'2 and weight 7 stones. I've never had anybody saying I look anorexic, never! I was 10lbs heavier this time last year and for some reason (probably move a lot more now as I cycle to work and do zumba twice a week) have lost that 10lbs without any special effort.
10lbs is a noticable difference on my small frame, but everybody has been lovely and complimentary, saying I look younger and less tired. I guess this is my "natural" weight (weighed this in my youth too) as I've maintained this weight for a good few months now, despite eating whatever I want pretty much.

Belize · 06/01/2014 18:52

I'm 5 ft 4 " and weigh just over 7 stone, have had people accuse me of being anorexic though Sad. I do wonder what they would have said if I'd replied that I was Hmm.

5 ft 2 " and 8 stone sounds perfect to me Smile.

Sallystyle · 06/01/2014 22:28

I am no longer 8 stone :( I don't know what I am but it isn't 8 stone.

I think it's odd how people can be the same height and weigh the same but look totally different and wear different sizes. 8 stone took a lot of work for me, it was very hard to keep to that level of exercise and calories I need to maintain it. I did it for around two years but became a bit lazy about it all.

I think I am at my natural weight now that I can maintain easily, but I am not totally comfortable with and don't want to buy new clothes again so it has to go.

There is a new thread in chat discussing Lucy Beale again. Just out of interest has there been many threads on MN started about celebs who are gaining weight?

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