to get the rage at thin-ist comments?

[BasicFish]

Am I??

Seriously, just over the last few days, I've seen so many comments slating thin women and it's starting to piss me off. I would never dream of making sizeist comments, firstly because I don't think being a certain size (or not) makes you attractive.

But a brief list of the thin-ist comments I've come across this week.

"Most men don't go for size 8s"
"It would be like shagging a folding deckchair"
"some skinny little cow"
if he wants you to lose that much weight and be that slim, he must be gay"

etc..

If anyone tried to same the same about, say, size 18s they'd be slaughtered and rightly so. So why is it ok to pick on women who are slim? Not "anorexic" (unless they really are of course, which is a completely different issue), women who are just naturally slim and small. Why? WHHHYYY??

I do have a tendency to eat junk but I am extremely fit so it means I have low cholestrol, blood pressure etc which equates to healthiness. Its easier to be healthy and eat junk when skinnier than if your a lot bigger.

We are constantly bombarded with body image stupidity and I think in rubs off on some people in a bad way?

Big is beautiful, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, blondes have fun on and on.

Clothes designers design clothing that only looks good on a body that doesn't physically exist FFS! And then pick out women as near to this non existent ideal as are available to present them to the world.

Clothing always looked better in the when it was made to measure, regardless of what size human was it.

It's all fucking wrong, and skews people's perceptions. By all means resent your own body, but unless it's harming them or you, you have no right to resent any one else's.

Ah, no I see now you were confusing the issues. I never said she was necessarily healthy or unhealthy. It was not necessarily relevant. Clearly we can all be lots of different sizes and shapes and still be healthy or not. Meanwhile my anecdotes about goose fat and bacon were not intended to indicate she eats nothing else, rather I was in a light-hearted way trying to illustrate that she does not avoid foods that might be thought of as making you fatter. She also eats a lot of salad.

Sorry did not say last post was a reply to Thants.

LegoCaltrops You are my spirit animal! Need more fudge..

the point is she thought she ate loads, but wasn't

basicfish I really don't think your size 8 means you are unhealthy either. I am in agreement with you about negative comments on size.

I guess I'm just saying that there is no naturally fat or thin. You are what goes in verses what gets used up.

We are never going to stop people finding certain physical characteristics attractive. It could be height, weight, hair colour, skin colour. To be sexually attracted to a certain type is not the same as being prejudiced about them as people or using their physical characteristics as a way to abuse them.
There may be more heterosexual men who like women who are on the thin side. But there are plenty of men who prefer a woman to be curvier.
There may be more heterosexual women who prefer men to be athletic in physique. But there are some women (thank god I must say) who find the weedy and pale look equally alluring.
The point is we should not denigrate people whose appearance is just not to our sexual taste, we should not tolerate the view that people's appearance is automatically a reflection of them as a person or of their active choices and we should not encourage young people to think there is an easy objective measure of attractiveness to which they should aspire.

I'd describe it less as jealousy, more as envy. The fact remains that it's still more acceptable to be slim/thin than it is to be fat. Rude comments about someone's body if they are slim are likely to be envy of it. (still not right).
If you're fat, everything in your life that's wrong is put down to your weight. Any health issue would be resolved if you just lost weight and exercised. Any relationship issue is because you're fat.
And the weird thing is that the largely useless BMI measurement doesn't even give the best health outcomes. The best results are from the category (arbitrarily) called 'overweight', not normal. And the obese category, well. I am obese, yet wear a UK 14. Bit fat, yeah, but not obese by most people's reckoning. I'm fairly fit, I eat pretty well, and all the usual markers - BP, cholesterol and so on - are in the normal healthy range.
I hate body shaming; though. Of any sort.

Well said Angus

I really dislike all the comments either way picking at bigger or slimmer women like we should all look like 'the ideal' whatever that is.

I've been bigger and smaller than I am now and got a lot of comments when I was slimmer along the lines of how much weight I lost and was told I used to have very chubby cheeks but nobody mentioned this to me when I was heavier. Then you get the people saying "your not going to lose Anymore are you? You don't want to get too skinny!" too skinny for who?

Don't understand why anyone thinks its appropriate to comment on someone else's weight unless asked for an opinion. Angers me slightly

Yanbu.

I think its easy for those of us who are over weight to be so envious of slim people we forget they might be hurt by our jealous comments. We live in a society where if you call someone fat its an insult. Fat is assumed to be the same as ugly. Fat people are called disgusting and thought of as having no self control. We are thought of as unhealthy and having brought it on ourselves by our bad eating habits. If someone has an overweight child they are accused of bad parenting.
If you are naturally slim and can eat whatever you want its like you have won the genetic lottery. You can eat cake and still wear size 8 jeans? Yes there are a lot of women who have been on diets for years and would love to be that way. Maybe the ideal figure is curvy but it is still slim with curves in the right places. Most of all if slim people want to gain weight they get to eat more and they can eat a big slab of cake and a nice round of buttered toast and some biscuits if they want. We can eat a small salad and an apple so really I do think 99% of these comments are sheer jealousy. I would ignore them and eat a doughnut

What I really find annoying is the comments that supposedly encourage us to try and base our "look" on what men are most attracted to. That seems pointless to me, as not only do men all prefer different physical types and not all of might want a man, but since (like many women) I already have a husband, don't wish to practise bigamy or have an affair and am not a professional sex worker, I cannot see what possible benefit striving to look like what most men are (supposedly) attracted to would have for me.

I might think differently if, like Kelly Brook, I had photos and calendars and modelling shoots, but I don't. And since some relatively unattractive people still manage to find partners and not everyone is obsessed with physical appearance anyway, who bloody cares?

tbh the average man would be too terrified to speak to Kelly Brook and would be more likely to ask out her girl next door friend anyway.

I posted on the Lucy from Eastenders thread. I was a scrawny waif like being that eat 4 full meals a day and snacked (ok my legs were better). I was a competitive sportsperson and eat like a hungry horse. Some people are just built like that at that point in their lives. And their metabolism is obviously the biggest factor.

Erg these types of comments drive me INSANE!

I'm a HEALTHY size 8, who LOVES her food and eats tonnes more than the guys in the office. And to those who think slimmer women aren't attractive to men: I also happen to get plenty of attention from the opposite (and sometimes same) sex.

I've spent years stuffing my face to look healthy; when I was a child I looked painfully thin for no reason and got so sick of the nasty comments people felt appropriate to chuck at me.

It's so rude to be sizeist to anyone, fat or thin! I wouldn't dream of saying the opposite of things I've heard to someone who was larger than me.

I've had catty comments from friends, family and strangers since I was a teen about how 'skinny' I am.

YANBU OP - I've have seen comments on MN about Kate Cambridge previously; it's scrunity of someone which is unkind and boring to read.

I detrest the word skinny - it is the opposite of the word fat, which means it's a word you shouldn't use to describe someone, in any derogatory sense, to their face.

you're soooooo' skinny vs. youre sooooo fat.

i would hazard a guess many on this thread have been told the first example to their face on many occasions.

I wouldn't dream of telling someone you're so fat / curvy / chubby even if it was said as a compliment, which is how comments to me have been brushed off in the past. Even comments such as look at you, you make me sick, doesn't she Jane, sickening it is how skinny you are Again, said with intention to compliment In reality, it's not welcomed by any slimmer person IMO.

The irony of my slimness is that it is an illusion I'm tall, 5'11 and a size 12, sometimes a 14, but my height means I look slim and in proportion. Several people have categorically refused to believe I'm not a size 8, it is mad to think they'd argue with you over your size as if you reversed it with someone who's a size 16 who you thought was more a size 20; that discussions wouldnt even take place.

My FIL made a comment to DH that his 9 year-old niece had a bum larger than mine[ . My bum was the only curves I had.
I had an inferiority complex about not looking womanly/sexy enough but Auntie said " Don't worry, some men like the little boy look" . My legs were never matchsticks though, and one woman a few years ago remarked that my legs were chunky compared with the rest of me and must have been the ballet I did

I think it comes from jealousy a bit. I used to get this when I was small (I also suffered a plethora of eating disorders so I wasn't happy with myself)

People also used to think it was ok to comment and tease me about what I ate.

Ironically, now I'm a few stone heavier with baby weight no one comments. I guess I'm normally fat now

Agree with OP 100%.

Totally agree hmc83

My friend drives me INSANE with comments about how I'm so skinny (I'm not) because I don't eat anything (completely false)

I've also been told by another friend that I'm flat chested.

I never ever restrict my food intake. I eat what I want, whenever I want.

I feel so self conscious when I eat in front of the first friend I mentioned. I just know that she's measuring how much I eat. How would she feel if I told her she eats too much????

Grrrrr

One comment I received recently was 'the last time I saw a pair of legs like that was hanging out of a birds nest' nice. Now I only feel comfortable in 'boyfriend' jeans.

Yes, les mis, comments such as 'men prefer xxx body' or 'men like something to grab hold of" etc etc really annoy me.
Since I gave up 'just seventeen' magazine, twenty years ago I'd hoped not to hear such crap but you can still hear it or read it on mumsnet.

Will throw in "heightist" too.
I am very tall, 6 feet. And slim.

Even at the age of 53 I am very self conscious about my height, as I get comments Regularly about it. I do not need it brought to my attention.

It is ridiculous the whole men like 'curves' thing. Utterly ridiculous as if you are curvy or whatever you will obviously attract someone who will then say I prefer you to others.

After some throw away comment on weight they'll think that slim women don't attract men, which is ridiculous.

But the men like phrases are grim.

Yanbu, I'm assuming that people who make those comments are just envious or fat themselves. I'm a size 8 and have heard some comments made towards myself but it has always been from an overweight person.