To have used the disabled loo today :(

[peking]

An embarrassing moment.

Was in our public library when suddenly overcome with an urgent need to go (Crohn's - thought it was under control but I guess Christmas has messed things up).

There were two toilets - one disabled which also held the only nappy-changing facility there, and one toilet on its own. The single toilet was engaged so I dashed into the disabled. I took some time as I felt really shaky and couldn't stand up for a few minutes.

About halfway through I could hear a toddler crying on the other side and the father trying to placate him as he needed his nappy changed. The toddler probably had to wait about 5 mins.

When I finally got out the father shouted after me "you're out of order, you're not even disabled!"

How mortifying. I just had to ignore him but felt awful for the toddler. As many MN'ers have probably come across people taking up the disabled/nappy-changing facilities before, AIBU?

[IamInvisible]

There's no point Fanjo, there really isn't. We can educate and explain until we are blue in the face, but it will make no difference!

[lookatmybutt]

I have a disability (and I'd class crohn's as too) and think he's a fucking knobend.

Even if you just had a temporary bout of Montezuma's Revenge or something, I'm not going to begrudge anyone using a free loo if they need one urgently - and obviously I would never question them about it. Can you imagine: "I AM NOT CONVINCED YOUR LOO NEED WAS NOT GREATER THAN MINE, I DEMAND PROOFS."

I remember being midstream at work once when a pregnant colleague loudly exclaimed 'Hey, pregnant lady here!' as she waited outside. I wanted to tell her to go fuck herself, but I just said, 'I'm not in here doing the crossword puzzle, you know.' Did she want me to stop peeing or something?

Some people are just stupid.

[SpikeyTree]

There is a very good reason not to use them. A person without a disability is able to wait for one of the many ordinary toilets. A person with a disabilities is likely to be unable to wait or unable to access other facilities.

[pigletmania]

Disabled or not it not, if you are about to poo your pants, or be sick, and there are no other toilets free than use the disabled loo of course. Don't do it on the floor!

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Iaminvisible. .I know. I made my point. But it will be blithely ignored I'm sure.

[cosikitty]

You are perfectly entitled to use an accessible toilet, with or without good reason.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Yes..go for it..let people with disabilities be distressed or wet themselves. After all you are all entitled so what's to stop you.

[lljkk]

I bought a Radar key on Ebay. There are some loos with special features to make them accessible to people with disabilities. They don't exist exclusively for the use of those people.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

I'm going to withdraw to the sidelines and just watch this thread unfold in horror

[JulieJingleBellsMumsnet]

Evening.

Many thanks to those who have pointed us over here. Have you seen our talk guidelines?

[CrohnicallySick]

But the baby change doesn't need to be in a private cubicle really, I have been in a few toilets where the baby change is at one end of the ladies' toilets, so my body affords DD a bit of privacy (not that she minds, she's only 1 and would probably say 'hiya' and wave at any onlookers). Or if you put the baby change in a cubicle you could park the pram in the doorway seeing as you don't really need the door to be shut.

Question for those who think it's ok to use the disabled/accessible toilet- would you use a blue badge bay without a blue badge? After all, you can be in and out within a few minutes and it won't hurt the disabled person to have to queue for the space?

[mrsjay]

this is about to turn into one of those threads bowing out this isnt what the OP was asking she feels bad enough without people piling in

[RandyRudolf]

Oh good Lord, I cannot believe someone has felt the need to call in the internet police for this thread.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Everyone said it was fine for the OP.

But others decided to come along and say how they all use them

No way should the OP feel bad.

[BuffyxSummers]

puntastic, out of curiosity, how do you he wasn't disabled? Isn't OP proof enough that disability isn't always visible?

[Binkybix]

I used to use disabled loos but wouldn't now because of what I've learned from other posters here. It sounds ridiculous but I'd never thought about the fact that waiting could be difficult for some disabled people, and now I know differently.

If I was about to poo myself though I would use one.

[BuffyxSummers]

Ahem, how do you know*

[SpikeyTree]

The OP doesn't need to feel bad. She has a disability. People with no need to use the facility provided so that disabled people can leave the house, should not use it.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

But also bowing out

[lookatmybutt]

Cosikitty: no, you're not, though. You can wait like everyone else unless it's urgent.

Is there something wrong with your brain?

[IamInvisible]

You bought a Radar key on Ebay!

Why would you do that, unless you are disabled or have disabled children, and then I presume you'd buy it from Radar?

[CrohnicallySick]

Lljkk- and therein lies the problem with Radar keys. The radar scheme was started to ensure that people could access a suitable toilet when they needed it, without baby change facilities or the chance of it being vandalised as many public toilets are. To buy a key from the official shop, you have to declare that you have a disability or medical condition that requires the use of the facilities.

[BillyBanter]

1. you are 'disabled' by your Crohn's.
2. I'd argue that having diarrhoea is temporary disablement
3. even if it wasn't it makes sense to use any toilet available rather than shit yourself in the middle of the library. He wouldn't have approved of that either, I suspect.
4. He is an idiot if thinks people can only be disabled if they are in a wheelchair
5. It has baby changing facilities. parents and babies are not disabled which brings us onto....
6. disabled toilets are toilets accessible by people in wheel chairs or other disabilities which make using normal toilets difficult or impossible. Being accessible to disabled people is not the same as reserved for disabled people alone. That said it is obviously considerate to use the other toilets if possible.

[mrsjay]

peeks back in bought a rador key on ebay

[scarffiend]

Totally off topic but I used to work with a gay guy who insisted that disabled loos were invented for the purposes of illicit sex - why all those handles etc?? Never been able to look at a disabled loo in the same way since.

YWNBU - aa others have said, crohns would be considered a disability in this context. What a prat he was.