To have used the disabled loo today :(

[peking]

An embarrassing moment.

Was in our public library when suddenly overcome with an urgent need to go (Crohn's - thought it was under control but I guess Christmas has messed things up).

There were two toilets - one disabled which also held the only nappy-changing facility there, and one toilet on its own. The single toilet was engaged so I dashed into the disabled. I took some time as I felt really shaky and couldn't stand up for a few minutes.

About halfway through I could hear a toddler crying on the other side and the father trying to placate him as he needed his nappy changed. The toddler probably had to wait about 5 mins.

When I finally got out the father shouted after me "you're out of order, you're not even disabled!"

How mortifying. I just had to ignore him but felt awful for the toddler. As many MN'ers have probably come across people taking up the disabled/nappy-changing facilities before, AIBU?

[pigletmania]

Chronns like any other disability, affects people differently, it's not one size fits all. If you have a genuine need to use a disabled facility, that a normal facility is unavailable or cannot provide, you use it! You do not have to justify yourself.

[lougle]

perfectstorm I would consider that anyone who has little or no warning that they need to urinate are 'disabled' in that sense and are perfectly justified in using the disabled/accessible toilets if a regular toilet is not available.

The point is that they are there for people who need them, not for people who can't be bothered to find the regular toilets or queue.

[Lillilly]

Our council tourist office sells radar keys, I didn't know they were hard to get .

[pigletmania]

Totally agree ligule. When your out, suddenly caught short,if you don't get to a loo quickly you will have an accident. your need at that moment in time is the same as the disabled person. Why is it ok for a non disabled person to soil themselves! Yes it does happen, our bodies don't always run perfectly, there can be glitches in the system.

[AliceinWinterWonderland]

I do not understand why this seems to crop up with such regularity. It's really quite simple. If you have a disability and need to use the disabled loos, use them. If you don't have a disability, don't use the disabled loos. There are, of course, extenuating circumstances - if you have a debilitating temporary illness and have no other choice, then use them if you have no other option.

But "entitled" "lazy" and "too impatient to wait" are not disabilities. Wait in the queue for the loos like everyone else.

Not rocket science. And no, FWIW I don't think radar keys should be available on ebay. We got ours for DS1 through Shopmobility with no waiting period, just had to show them his DLA letter showing he was receiving DLA and give them a brief explanation why he needed it. It was no hassle, free, and we were given the key immediately.

[wannabestressfree]

Well said gobbin
Blistory I am really confused by your posts on crohns given that you have it. It really isn't the same as having a bug and generally speaking if you have a bug you stay indoors until say 48 hours later when you feel better. You can also take immodium etc to prevent 'accidents'
I had no sphincter control pre colostomy and it used to 'seep' out. Not proper waste but stringy, pus filled bright yellow acidic stuff that used to burn my skin. 20 immodium tablets made no difference.
In order to be able to work and have any life I use and used the disabled toilets. I have a disability.

[wannabestressfree]

I apologise for anyone eating :)

[Misspixietrix]

your need at that time is the same as the disabled person . No it isn't. You don't have to hoist yourself out of a wheelchair etc before soiling yourself. I'm surprised that people think accessible means free for all. It doesn't. It means a person with a disability can ACCESS it easily. Jesus wept! Mumsnet is scary sometimes!

[madamecake]

Blistory, I don't usually post on this board, but am very surprised you said crohns is similar to food poisoning. My DM suffers from her crohns so badly she cannot leave the house for days at at time, and sometimes cannot leave her bathroom. This is after having a permanent colostomy. Before that she spent most of my childhood on and out of hospital.

As another poster said, not everyone has the same symptoms. Rant over

[lougle]

pigletmania, that wasn't what I was saying.

[pigletmania]

Miss i meant it as being you both will soil yourself if you don't get to a loo quickly. Really the crux of it is, if you urgently need to use the disabled facilities, no suitable alternative facilities are readily available, than use it. If it means you keep your dignity, and don't have to walk home with soiled garments and smelling, or you need to clean and change yourself in private without all eyes on you in the. Mainstream toilets so be it.

[pigletmania]

What were you saying then logule as it sounds similar to my point. If you can wait a few mins, or are too lazy to use than you are not justified to use a disabled toilet, if you urgently need to, if you don't it will result in one soiling themselves and no other suitable facilities are available than of course use it. Sounds the same to me

[BoffinMum]

If people say, 'you're not disabled' it's perfectly alright to say 'I may not be a wheelchair user, but I do indeed have a serious disability. Now please leave me alone'.

[BoffinMum]

FWIW I think anyone who is about to crap themselves dramatically is entitled to use any toilet they can, even if it's food poisoning.

[Bflat]

Interesting thread. I have been involved in my local area in applying for and giving funds to improve accessibility with the aim to make our town accessible above and beyond legislation.

The case for funding is often based on the fact that by improving accessibility, everyone benefits. Flat routes, really wide doorways, accessible toilets make our area more attractive to people with disabilities, old people, parents, everyone.

Where possible toilets are refurbished to make them accessible, with the idea that they are accessible to all, as often it is the exiting toilet which us adapted as there is no space to provide an additional facility. Lots of places have one big accessible toilet for use by all.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Of course.

But that's such a rare occurrence. People fighting for the right to use it in that event ..which no one is objecting to..are just nitpicking IMO.

[TheHeadlessLadyofCannock]

What was he explaining about disabled people? If he was saying something about disabled people being people who use wheelchairs then obviously he needs to smarten up his view of what the term 'disabled' means.

A good response might have been 'I do have a disability, you wanker' although possibly not completely appropriate with the toddler there

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

My post was to BoffinMum

[BoffinMum]

TBH I have never heard anyone criticise anyone else for using a disabled loo. Perhaps I am sheltered.

[peking]

I think it looked very bad to the father waiting outside as the single toilet room had become free while I was using the disabled/baby-changing toilet. It probably looked bad to him because he had been explaining to the toddler that disabled people need the extra space. Well I didn't need the extra space, I needed a toilet desperately and that was the only option available at the time!

Agree that baby-changing facilities should have been separate - there is plenty of space in the library to accommodate one!

[candycoatedwaterdrops]

I really wish people with bowel problems or similar would not apologise for using the disabled toilets. They are horrible conditions and no sane person would begrudge use of them to someone with a bowel disease.

[BoffinMum]

Well said.

[Fleta]

Our localish (well as local as you can get when you live in the sticks) IKEA seems to have the right idea - they have a couple of disabled loos, then what they bill as a "family room" which has baby changing, smaller loos for children etc. It is unisex which means no issues with changing tables being in gender specific loos.

I would hope that whilst this means there's a third loo that someone who needed an accessible loo could use if the others were engaged, it may discourage people who really don't need to use the disabled loo from doing so.

On the other hand our tiny library only has one loo - It has all three symbols on the door. In that situation, I don't think there would be any problem with people using that loo!

[sparklesandbling]

OP your are not being unreasonable.

I do however think that having changing facilities in disabled loo is great as not all disabled people are adults, some are babies and toddlers and slightly older children.

With my DD when she goes for a poo she needs to be changed asap as her medicine makes her acidic down there meaning it causes all sorts of problems.

She also cannot wait as she doesn't understand the concept and would have a complete meltdown if she had to.

We thankfully got a radar key as she qualifies and it is helpful but not enough facilities in them (as in hoists or changing tables for the child/ person who needs more help.)

Changing facilities for babies or those without disabilities should not be included in disabled loo though.

[CrohnicallySick]

Sparklesandbling- it would be helpful if more disabled toilets were 'changing places' ones, with adult size changing tables, wouldn't it? Then if you have a disabled baby or toddler you can use that, but it would be more useful for older children or adults than having a baby changing table.