To have used the disabled loo today :(

[peking]

An embarrassing moment.

Was in our public library when suddenly overcome with an urgent need to go (Crohn's - thought it was under control but I guess Christmas has messed things up).

There were two toilets - one disabled which also held the only nappy-changing facility there, and one toilet on its own. The single toilet was engaged so I dashed into the disabled. I took some time as I felt really shaky and couldn't stand up for a few minutes.

About halfway through I could hear a toddler crying on the other side and the father trying to placate him as he needed his nappy changed. The toddler probably had to wait about 5 mins.

When I finally got out the father shouted after me "you're out of order, you're not even disabled!"

How mortifying. I just had to ignore him but felt awful for the toddler. As many MN'ers have probably come across people taking up the disabled/nappy-changing facilities before, AIBU?

[ProudAS]

Don't try explaining yourself to ignorant strangers - some sarcastic retort about them judging without all the facts maybe????

[pigletmania]

Especially if you become unwell when your out.

[puntasticusername]

Buffy yes, I said exactly that in my first para.

[candycoatedwaterdrops]

If you're unwell, that's a totally different matter, of course. I'd never see someone wet or soil themselves, I just reckon it's not as common as people on these threads tend to claim.

[Topaz25]

YADNBU, Crohn's is a disability! That father was BU and teaching his child a terrible lesson by yelling at a stranger and judging on appearances.

[Morgause]

My GP told me to buy a RADAR key on ebay when I was on using a wheelchair after an operation on my foot. He said by the time RADAR responded I'd probably be weight-bearing again and ebay was much quicker.

I needed the facilities then even though it was only a temporary disability. Anyone with any disability shouldn't feel bad about using the accessible loos.

Those who use them when they could wait will continue to do so because they can't see anything wrong with doing so, despite what reasonable people think.

I think it's daft to have baby changing facilities in accessible loos Very unfair on those who really to use the toilet urgently.

[spiderlight]

Not unreasonable at all. I have ulcerative colitis so I know all too well that waiting is sometimes simply not an option. I carry a NACC card and a Radar key, although I'd probably be too embarrassed to use the card and I only use the key in the direst of emergencies. People should understand - and if they are making assumptions, should be politely told - that not all disabilities are visible. Hope you're feeling better now

[peking]

It's crap that the symbol for disability is a wheelchair, but I guess there's no easy way of pictorally depicting other kinds of conditions that necessitate a bit of extra tolerance.

I feel a lot better now, you lovely understanding people! Ironically stress makes my condition worse so I just went straight home...so I wouldn't have to annoy any other toilet users!

[Mim78]

I think having Crohn's is a good enough reason to use disabled loo, so YANBU.

The thing is he probably didn't realise and was in a panic because of his DC. However, this should probably remind us all that the need for this loo (seat, whatever...) might not be obvious...

[IamInvisible]

What brigade loveolives?

[SpikeyTree]

The Light Brigade

[Heartbrokenmum73]

Ah, that would be the SN brigade, IamInvisible. She's probably referring to you and DawnDonna.

And remember, loveolives thinks threads about disabilities are boring.

[IamInvisible]

I knew it was Heartbroken.

Always nice to see disablism is alive and kicking!

[GlitzAndGiggles]

A security guard in M&S once came out the disabled loo which also had the only baby change facility after a good 10 mins of me trying to calm my dd with a smelly nappy. I did have to give him a little telling off

[caketinrosie]

My ds is disabled we often need to use the disabled loos, we always get challenged. It drives me crazy. As he is getting older though his disability is becoming obvious due to his age and his mannerisms so im hoping it will eventually stop altogether. Tbh my biggest problem isn't able bodied people using the loo, it's the fact I usually have only one loo in a whole shop, why can't they all be accessible? I know it's not always practical but surely more than one is? I don't mind explaining to people as I understand we can all make mistakes and misunderstand a situation, but most people just become instantly hostile which makes me want to react the same way.

[notthegirlnextdoor]

YANBU, you have Crohns. I have IBS and thats bad enough on days where I suddenly get a cramp and I know I have less than 30 seconds to get to a toilet, so gawd knows how it is for you. Babies/toddlers can wait for the nappies to be changed.

[Heartbrokenmum73]

But don't you get how boring disabilities are, Iam? Normal people don't want to be reminded about people who are different, you know. And loveolives is also going to vote UKIP - speaks volumes, doesn't it?

[LittleprincessinGOLDrocks]

YANBU.
I have serious health issues, and you can't tell just by looking at me, so I know how frustrating it can be.
You had every right to use that loo, and he was very wrong to shout at you. Not all disabilities are obvious.

I do think that it would be better if baby change was a separate unit from disabled loo's. I would have hated to have delayed a person who needed the loo by changing my child's nappy (before they were potty trained).

[IamInvisible]

It is boring heartbroken, being in pain, being socially isolates, not being able to do things with your kids. Still, so long as she isn't bothered by it, hey?

[pigletmania]

I think if you have a genuine urgent need to use the disabled facilities than it's ok

[RandyRudolf]

My ds is disabled we often need to use the disabled loos, we always get challenged

Who actually does that? I mean, as we've seen on this thread, you have no idea if the user has a condition so why would you confront them?

[caketinrosie]

Op and other sufferers, Crohns sounds like a vile condition, you can go ahead of us anytime!

[IamInvisible]

Why not try the men's before the disabled, Piglet?