To have used the disabled loo today :(

[peking]

An embarrassing moment.

Was in our public library when suddenly overcome with an urgent need to go (Crohn's - thought it was under control but I guess Christmas has messed things up).

There were two toilets - one disabled which also held the only nappy-changing facility there, and one toilet on its own. The single toilet was engaged so I dashed into the disabled. I took some time as I felt really shaky and couldn't stand up for a few minutes.

About halfway through I could hear a toddler crying on the other side and the father trying to placate him as he needed his nappy changed. The toddler probably had to wait about 5 mins.

When I finally got out the father shouted after me "you're out of order, you're not even disabled!"

How mortifying. I just had to ignore him but felt awful for the toddler. As many MN'ers have probably come across people taking up the disabled/nappy-changing facilities before, AIBU?

[confuddledDOTcom]

I agree, NU!

I'm so fed up of the attitudes to disabilities, I'm on crutches and need the space, the height of the loo, the grab rails - I don't need the sinks that are by my knees so I hurt myself using them, really if I was making it up they would put me off! I had to use a cubicle not long ago and fell because I couldn't get through the door, I hit my back quite hard on the wall and was winded, I also set off the autoflush falling and got wet. Sometimes I don't have my crutches on me, if I don't have to walk far I don't necessarily use them or if I'm using a scooter I might leave them in the car, I always get really uncomfortable then about using the loo in case someone says something.

My brother took his son into an accessible toilet once because he had lost his peg - he has a hole in his tummy where they pulled his appendix through to give a flush as he was born with muscles missing and his body can't process poo properly, the peg is the plug on it, sometimes he has a tube instead. He could hear two old ladies having a go that he (brother) didn't look very disabled (he's almost 7 foot and very athletic looking) so he opened the door and shut them up!

[Bankholidaybaby]

Yanbu. You have a legitimate reason for using any available loo. People are too quick to judge and assume that if you have no wheelchair, you can't be disabled/disabled enough to park in special spaces, use designated toilets etc..

[magicberry]

YANBU. Your need was greater IMO. I have many times changed a toddler on the floor of a regular loo. It's not impossible (and not that hard with a standing toddler provided you are able-bodied yourself). You shouldn't feel bad at all.

[CrohnicallySick]

I'm sure the official changing tables do cost a lot of money- however in our workplace we have an adjustable height hospital type bed that has a PVC covered mattress on that we use to change older children, and it's a much cheaper alternative.

The disabled toilet that it is in replaced a single cubicle and separate sink area so while it's larger than the legal minimum size, isn't that large and could easily be considered in new buildings or when doing a refurbishment.

For that matter, our local (council run) leisure centre has recently been renovated and has at least one changing cubicle for disabled people, with a changing table. Wouldn't it be nice if they made the facilities available for the general (disabled) public to use?

[Bahhhhhumbug]

hazy I always direct tutters to the bird seed aisle if in a supermarket or nearest pet shop if not.

My DGD (mentioned in earlier post , teenager with CF and all related digestive problems was coming out a disabled loo only to be tutted at by a catsbum faced woman who then muttered under her breath 'in your own time'. DGD had earpiece back in (typical teenager) so didn't hear it but yours truly psycho nanny did.

I didn't cover myself in glory but put it this way , I don't think the woman will make same mistake again any time soon.

[sparklesandbling]

must remember your idea hazeyjane and put under sn chair, great idea! :)

[hazeyjane]

I carry a cut down picnic rug under the buggy for changing ds (3.6) on the floor of the toilet - as he is too big for and scared of the changing tables.

I have been tutted at by a lady with a walking aid, for using the disbled toilet with ds (his sn buggy wouldn't have fit in the standard cubicles and there isn't enough room on the floor of that particular ladies to change him) I guess she didn't realise ds was disabled.

Op - of course you are not be unreasonable to use the disabled loo - you have a disabling condition, and shouldn't have to explain yourself.

[sparklesandbling]

That's a great link eggandcress, will start doing something about this and ask family and friends to join the campaign.

[sparklesandbling]

unfortunately crohnicallysick they probably cost lots more money to put in :(

we will be having problems with this soon as dd is now 4 1/2 and getting too heavy for baby table so it will have to be floor etc

[eggandcress]

Very good point CrohnicallySick

www.changing-places.org/the_campaign.aspx

There are lots of families who are unable to go out for any length of time as the toilets are not accessible. There is a campaign for more "changing places' toilets to help them. Link above.

I have to change my 14 year olds ds nappy on the floor of the disabled toilet sometimes. He has been much to big for the changing table for a long time.

[CrohnicallySick]

Sparklesandbling- it would be helpful if more disabled toilets were 'changing places' ones, with adult size changing tables, wouldn't it? Then if you have a disabled baby or toddler you can use that, but it would be more useful for older children or adults than having a baby changing table.

[sparklesandbling]

OP your are not being unreasonable.

I do however think that having changing facilities in disabled loo is great as not all disabled people are adults, some are babies and toddlers and slightly older children.

With my DD when she goes for a poo she needs to be changed asap as her medicine makes her acidic down there meaning it causes all sorts of problems.

She also cannot wait as she doesn't understand the concept and would have a complete meltdown if she had to.

We thankfully got a radar key as she qualifies and it is helpful but not enough facilities in them (as in hoists or changing tables for the child/ person who needs more help.)

Changing facilities for babies or those without disabilities should not be included in disabled loo though.

[Fleta]

Our localish (well as local as you can get when you live in the sticks) IKEA seems to have the right idea - they have a couple of disabled loos, then what they bill as a "family room" which has baby changing, smaller loos for children etc. It is unisex which means no issues with changing tables being in gender specific loos.

I would hope that whilst this means there's a third loo that someone who needed an accessible loo could use if the others were engaged, it may discourage people who really don't need to use the disabled loo from doing so.

On the other hand our tiny library only has one loo - It has all three symbols on the door. In that situation, I don't think there would be any problem with people using that loo!

[BoffinMum]

Well said.

[candycoatedwaterdrops]

I really wish people with bowel problems or similar would not apologise for using the disabled toilets. They are horrible conditions and no sane person would begrudge use of them to someone with a bowel disease.

[peking]

I think it looked very bad to the father waiting outside as the single toilet room had become free while I was using the disabled/baby-changing toilet. It probably looked bad to him because he had been explaining to the toddler that disabled people need the extra space. Well I didn't need the extra space, I needed a toilet desperately and that was the only option available at the time!

Agree that baby-changing facilities should have been separate - there is plenty of space in the library to accommodate one!

[BoffinMum]

TBH I have never heard anyone criticise anyone else for using a disabled loo. Perhaps I am sheltered.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

My post was to BoffinMum

[TheHeadlessLadyofCannock]

What was he explaining about disabled people? If he was saying something about disabled people being people who use wheelchairs then obviously he needs to smarten up his view of what the term 'disabled' means.

A good response might have been 'I do have a disability, you wanker' although possibly not completely appropriate with the toddler there

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Of course.

But that's such a rare occurrence. People fighting for the right to use it in that event ..which no one is objecting to..are just nitpicking IMO.

[Bflat]

Interesting thread. I have been involved in my local area in applying for and giving funds to improve accessibility with the aim to make our town accessible above and beyond legislation.

The case for funding is often based on the fact that by improving accessibility, everyone benefits. Flat routes, really wide doorways, accessible toilets make our area more attractive to people with disabilities, old people, parents, everyone.

Where possible toilets are refurbished to make them accessible, with the idea that they are accessible to all, as often it is the exiting toilet which us adapted as there is no space to provide an additional facility. Lots of places have one big accessible toilet for use by all.

[BoffinMum]

FWIW I think anyone who is about to crap themselves dramatically is entitled to use any toilet they can, even if it's food poisoning.

[BoffinMum]

If people say, 'you're not disabled' it's perfectly alright to say 'I may not be a wheelchair user, but I do indeed have a serious disability. Now please leave me alone'.

[pigletmania]

What were you saying then logule as it sounds similar to my point. If you can wait a few mins, or are too lazy to use than you are not justified to use a disabled toilet, if you urgently need to, if you don't it will result in one soiling themselves and no other suitable facilities are available than of course use it. Sounds the same to me

[pigletmania]

Miss i meant it as being you both will soil yourself if you don't get to a loo quickly. Really the crux of it is, if you urgently need to use the disabled facilities, no suitable alternative facilities are readily available, than use it. If it means you keep your dignity, and don't have to walk home with soiled garments and smelling, or you need to clean and change yourself in private without all eyes on you in the. Mainstream toilets so be it.