To credit MN for the way I handled this rude woman at the shops?

[Primafacie]

... When I felt a bit hurt, humiliated and angry at her comments?

I had an encounter this morning which up till now I thought only ever happened on Mumsnet :)

I was food shopping (M&S, not that i think it's relevant but so I am not accused of dripfeeding) with my DCs (aged 2 and almost 5). I always park their scooters by the store entrance (on the inside), which itself leads to the inside of a shopping mall, and is guarded by a staff member. We (and the store) are in a very safe, family friendly area.

As I was heading for the tills, DD nearly 5 asked if she could wait for me by the scooters. I said yes, as she is very sensible, I was only going to be a few minutes, and in my own risk assessment, this is not a risky situation.

Two minutes later, I emerge from the queue with my shopping and DS in tow. A woman (I am guessing around 75, again not really relevant but don't want to DF) is talking to the security guard by the door, pointing to DD who is waiting by the scooters. She sees me and says 'is this your child?' Conversation then goes like this:

Me: 'Yes she is'.
Her: 'I really don't think it is advisable to leave your child here, anyone could have kidnapped her'.
Me: Rrright. Well, I disagree,and I think she is perfectly safe here.
Her: but you are wrong. Anyone could have taken her. This is really dangerous.
Me: Well, that's your view. I happen to think we live in a good society and I don't see abductors and paedos everywhere.
Her: but you are wrong, you see. She could have come to harm.
Me: so you have said, several times. Look, I disagree with you, and I am not interested in your views. I didn't ask for your opinion. When I was her age my mum used to send me to the shops on my own. Now please leave me and my kids alone.
Her: Happy new year.
Me: and happy new year to you. Now please can you stop following me?

All this without raising my voice, or stopping smiling :o

All the while she was trying to get the poor security guy roped in to tell me off - to his credit, he never opened his mouth.

Still feeling a bit offended, but meh - hardly the end of the world.

So, thanks MN. Can I get my shiny badge now?

Regardless of the rights and wrongs of leaving a 4 year old out of sight in a supermarket, I think it was kind of the woman to look out for your child, even if she was in your opinion misguided. I'm sure she didn't so it out of rudeness, just concern. So, you should perhaps have just said "thank you but we're fine" instead of arguing the toss. It will be a shame if next time she sees a child in a vulnerable position she turns the other way as a result of this.

The woman became rude when she kept pushing her point and then started following the OP out of M&S...still pushing her point.

Gah I hate these discussions they always turn into the 'won't someone please think of the children' nonsense. Anyone who would not put their child even at minuscule risk of kidnap which has been said more than one poster I am dying to know how you achieve this. It is not possible, it really is not possible so what we all do it weigh up the risk and complete with our knowledge of a child make up our own minds. I find it bizarre when people think they have managed to create a kidnap free zone using magic fairy dust around their children, you haven't. If you said you would not do the same with your child perhaps that is reasonable in a similar situation you have found yourself in, a busier supermarket, a greater distance from the till, a more nervous child, a flight risk child, how accepting of risk you are generally, lots of other different variables feed into your decision. I think people should accept that the OP was capable of making that assessment for her individual circumstance even if theirs for their own children would be different. I could probably have done the same with my eldest but never did but the 2 younger ones there is no chance.

Well done you for ignoring advice from a well intentioned passer-by who saw a little child on their own and was worried enough to mention it.
Polish your badge with pride.

Coldleftovers

I don't think people in RL do fall into cautious/not cautious "camps", it's just that on here, views get polarised (or Straw Dog arguments get made - people's views are twisted into extreme characterisations of what they are saying to be ridiculed by the other side).

coco44 there is no way that man was attempting to abduct that child. Much more likely was that he was just keeping a hold of her to ensure she didn't run off/ walk into the road. On a busy Sat at a pedestrian crossing I would do the same with a young child, whose parent had to let go of them for a second. But I am a woman so no one would assume I was going to rush off with her. It is a terrible state of affairs that the worst is assumed of a person in this situation because he is a man. It is ludicrious to think he would intend to take a child in a busy city centre when here parent was gong to realise within a second that she was gone. I can't believe you followed the poor man and reported him to police, or that they took it seriously.

Hahahah I meant Straw Man arguments. Allthough a Straw Dog argument sounds fun

Letting a four year old stsnd by herself was idiotic.

Believing you live in a nice safe area where bad things never happen is idiotic.

Thinking a shop security guard was looking out for your child was idiotic.

Trying to defend these idiotic desions by standing your ground against a 75yo woman was beyond idiotic.

Starting a thread on MN about it, hoping for some back slapping praise for all these idiotic descions raises the bar of stupidity to all new levels IMHO.

Newt - I confess I went an googled Straw Dog arguments thinking it was some sort of new debating term related to Straw Man arguments!

CallinDana has it spot on here.

It might not have been needed but it's nice that she was concerned about your daughter. If she ran up to you and said, "You left your child. I am going to report you to the police you vile woman!" and not listened to what you had said, I'd say different but she sounds like she was genuinely concerned about your daughters wellbeing.

Perhaps she didn't know that someone was nearby and was just so relieved when you arrived.

'coco44 there is no way that man was attempting to abduct that child. Much more likely was that he was just keeping a hold of her to ensure she didn't run off/ walk into the road. On a busy Sat at a pedestrian crossing I would do the same with a young child, whose parent had to let go of them for a second. But I am a woman so no one would assume I was going to rush off with her. It is a terrible state of affairs that the worst is assumed of a person in this situation because he is a man. It is ludicrious to think he would intend to take a child in a busy city centre when here parent was gong to realise within a second that she was gone. I can't believe you followed the poor man and reported him to police, or that they took it seriously'

wow you know a lot, more than the police even, , to say you weren't even there!
No! I would not dream of grasping a strangers 3/4 yr old child's arm whilst they were standing by their parent's side without saying anything and then run away!!