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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that good parents do not go on holiday for six weeks at a time?

189 replies

sparklysilversequins · 01/01/2014 22:31

Ex is going away on his jollies for 6 weeks in Feb - some "business" too apparently Hmm. To Thailand.

Fine, whatever, but AIBU to think you actually your kids don't "always come first" if you do this?

Personally I would find it hard to be away from my dc for more than a night or two but each to their own I suppose.

OP posts:
DamnBamboo · 01/01/2014 23:31

I called you arsey because of your response to my first post to you! I don't expect you to bow to collective opinion, you think what you think.

Others disagree and it is what it is.

So we're back to 6 week holiday now, not three months?

Can I ask what your ex does for a living, as six weeks holiday, if he's only recently taken 6 is an awful lot!

DamnBamboo · 01/01/2014 23:31

Yes, OP, you are drip-feeding.

Philoslothy · 01/01/2014 23:34

I live for time away from my children, we have managed to pack away half of them tonight, it is amazing.

DH and I have about one weekend every six weeks away from the children and we have about two further weeks of holidays away from the children.
I think am still a good enough mother.

SinisterSal · 01/01/2014 23:35

You may be drip feeding but you're still right Sparkly Wink

Original poster
sparklysilversequins · 01/01/2014 23:35

No you may not ask Damn all you need to know is that he is self employed and therefore does not need to ask for permission for holidays.

And if I must explain again I will seeing as you can't seem to grasp it, he is away for 6 weeks in Feb, he was away for 6 weeks last May, both holidays, so that is three months out of 12.

OP posts:
VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 23:36

you live for it? see imo, that's a bit much. but there are far worse things.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 01/01/2014 23:36

He is a non resident parent with no over nights - I don't actually think it's that big a deal.

I also don't understand the handwringing over leaving children with their other parents or grandparents etc for the night/weekend/week. Not being able to bear being away from your children for 2 minutes doesn't actually make anyone parent of the year and those that do do it, the devil incarnate.

Original poster
sparklysilversequins · 01/01/2014 23:36

Thanks Sinister Smile. I remain convinced that I am but it is certainly interesting to read how many parents think this is acceptable.

OP posts:
ThePinkOcelot · 01/01/2014 23:37

YANBU. I would be suspicious of Thailand tbh. Why there?!

Original poster
sparklysilversequins · 01/01/2014 23:38

Why do you think?

OP posts:
Philoslothy · 01/01/2014 23:39

I was exaggerating little bit, but I do love time with my husband on his own - I think that is the draw rather than not seeing the children.

WilsonFrickett · 01/01/2014 23:39

philoslothy of course going away for weekends and a holiday or even going away for months at a time doesnt make you a bad parent. What does make you a bad parent is spending money on travel rather than suitable housing so your DCs can stay overnight, and expecting the RP to pick up all the slack without ever reciprocating that.

I understand the op is badly worded but after reading the thread, surely it's clear that the man who fathered these children puts his own interests first?

SugarHut · 01/01/2014 23:39

I agree that OP is turning the "business" trip into a "jolly" because it suits her argument.

And this is soooo not about that anyway, it's about her relationship with her ex. She is bitter and resentful. Evident from a mile off. We've all been guilty of that sometimes, so no need to beat her over the head with it. But we can all see what's really going on here, I think.

DamnBamboo · 01/01/2014 23:40

I can grasp it, you just keep chopping and changing... and drip-feeding.

YABVU and very precious and you are not a better parent than those who do go away for that long!

Elderflowergranita · 01/01/2014 23:41

Well, sounds like you despise him so sparkly. Why aren't you calling him on the fact that he cannot have the children to stay with him at any time?

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 01/01/2014 23:41

OP now you really are being arsey and defensive. no you may not ask?!
Er.....you did ask on a forum whether you were being unreasonable. Some of us think you are. Confused

CustardoPaidforIDSsYFronts · 01/01/2014 23:41

suuuuure he's going to Thailand for business Wink

Joules68 · 01/01/2014 23:41

sugar it's a very transparent thread....

Original poster
sparklysilversequins · 01/01/2014 23:42

It's a holiday. I have absolutely no reason to lie about it. And as I am the one who has discussed it at length with him this evening and seen the mate who he is going with FB updates raring to go, I believe I am better placed to know the facts. He will spend one of the weekends in a major city out there in another country on business. The rest is holiday.

OP posts:
Philoslothy · 01/01/2014 23:43

As usual this thread is not actually about he contents of the OP. You are not better parent just because you are glued to them.

I think my children benefit from having parents that are still head over heels in love with each other, I am not just a mother - I am also a wife and woman with my own interests.

Original poster
sparklysilversequins · 01/01/2014 23:43

Exactly custardo.

OP posts:
VampyreofTimeandMemory · 01/01/2014 23:43

philosothy it's beneficial for everyone if couples maintain a good relationship after having dc, we don't really have babysitters but definitely try to make the most of the time we have when they're in bed which has really been too little during the school holidays FFS!

Original poster
sparklysilversequins · 01/01/2014 23:44

I am not chopping and changing at all. Read my posts, they all say the same thing.

OP posts:
CustardoPaidforIDSsYFronts · 01/01/2014 23:44

tbh i think hes probably going to thailand fora fuck fest

and i would be a bit pissed off if my ex left all the parenting to me whilst he went away for 6 weeks

yanbu

SinisterSal · 01/01/2014 23:44

She sooo is better than parents who go away unneccessarily for 6 weeks.

People are conflating weekends away etc with 3 months out of teh year having 'business dinners' in a beautiful holiday destination (where co incidentally one of the biggest business is the sex industry- that may well be purely co incidental of course). Painting her as a bitter ex wife is just low