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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let her spend it all??

170 replies

macdoodle · 28/12/2013 19:33

My DD2 is 6 today. She has had loads of xmas and birthday presents. Money mainly from an elderly grandfather unable to shop, and has in total from both xmas and birthday, £150.
She wants to buy specifically, a Build-a-Bear (she didnt get one for xmas, has DD1's old ones, and her half sister got one), she wants a Frozen doll from the disney shop (likewise half sister got one), and bizarrely she wants "furry crocs" (the shoes, she loves her summer crocs).
We are going to go into town next week so she can spend her money.
AIBU to let her spend it all??

OP posts:
RandomMess · 28/12/2013 19:34

Nope it's up to you, it sounds like they are 3 things she wants so let her buy them. I would recommend getting some more build a bear clothes off ebay though as they are so ridiculously expensive in the store!

usualsuspect · 28/12/2013 19:35

yes I would let her spend it all.

AMumInScotland · 28/12/2013 19:37

YANBU. It was given to her so that she could get toys and things that she wants, and she has a clear idea of what that is - it doesn't sound as if she is just determined to spend it on any old thing because it's burning a hole in her pocket - she has reasons for wanting certain things, and can afford them. Why not?

superram · 28/12/2013 19:39

I wouldn't let her spend it all as I believe in teaching children to save but I wouldn't be shocked if you let her spend it all-it is her money!

NearTheWindmill · 28/12/2013 19:40

Build a Bear is materialistic crap in my opinion, but it's a lovely experience for them and dd still won't part with hers and she's 15. The Frozen film was awesome and furry crocs for slippers/winter sound quite sensible. It's hard when they are given a lot of money when they are little but all of those things have some "value" and if grandad could have got out to get those things then he might have done and she might have had three more presents to unwrap. OTH he might have bought some things that cost a lot of money that she didn't want. My DS is a Christmas Day baby and I don't think you should underestimate how special one needs to make this time for them because they go a long long time without another big special day.

We used to hold a little bit back tbh and buy a summer present like a sandpit or slide, etc, because those things were always a bit thin on the ground for winter babies. But she knows about it now so you can't really rain on her parade.

I hope you and she have a lovely time shopping.

Cocolepew · 28/12/2013 19:40

Yes I would let her. She knows what she wants Grin

SomePeopleNeedHelp · 28/12/2013 19:44

YANBU, it is up to you isn't it.

I wouldn't let my dc personally. When we were little we always put money into an account and when I was an 18 I had a good amount put away. I am doing the same with ds.

I would maybe let her choose to get the bear or the doll?

delusionindex · 28/12/2013 20:00

I wouldn't myself, as IMO this promotes a poor attitude to money, I would probably put all of it into savings, since as you say she's already had loads of presents. But you're free to do as you wish.

GoldenGytha · 28/12/2013 20:09

I would let her spend it all,

It is her money after all, and she knows what she wants.

HappyMummyOfOne · 28/12/2013 20:10

I would let her spend it, surely it was given instead of presents rather than for a savings account. DS is free to spend his momey as he pleases, plenty of time to teach savings later when then reach their teens.

As an adult, if i'm given christmas or birthday money i spend it on something i want not add it to the savings.

Annunziata · 28/12/2013 20:12

I would not let her spend it all in one day, but have three different shopping days if that's possible, and let her think a little bit more.

Blu · 28/12/2013 20:15

I don't see why money given in lieu of an actual present has to be saved, where an actual present would be given and enjoyed. Especially as she has 3 things that she has clearly identified as things she would like. I would encourage her to save anything left over, to spend later in the year - and maybe keep some for her piggy bank.

Nishky · 28/12/2013 20:16

I never make my children put birthday and Christmas money into savings accounts. I pay into their savings each month as do grandparents.

The things she wants sound lovely and I would let her buy them, agree with idea of separate shopping trips though

bigbarns · 28/12/2013 20:18

It is her money, if those are the things she wants then yes, let her spend it and have a great time doing so. By all means explain to her that this is her money and once it is gone it's gone, life is far too short to try to teach a 6 year old what £150 might buy her in 20 years' time.

MrsLouisTheroux · 28/12/2013 20:21

The point of giving her the money is so that she can choose her own presents. She knows what she wants and has chosen harmless toys she will enjoy & silly shoes she has seen and would like- I would let her buy them.

ImperialBlether · 28/12/2013 20:21

I think it's too much for her to spend in one go.

I would tell her to save £100 of it and spend £50. There will be times when she'll want something else and it'll be nice for her to have the money there to buy it.

Iwannalaylikethisforever · 28/12/2013 20:22

Well said big barns
I'd let her spend it, they are things she wants, isn't that the point of giving money.
What fun! Frozen is a fabulous film!

Bogeyface · 28/12/2013 20:25

I would probably put all of it into savings

Why? It isnt your money to do that with. If anything, the person who should make that decision is the person (people?) who gave it to her, and the DD.

It is money in order to buy a gift, not money for savings.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 28/12/2013 20:27

I would let her buy those things as they are things she wants, it's not just that she wants to go and spend all her money. Then I'd tell her it was 'all gone'. Any left over I would let her spend in the middle of the year or when she has something she really really wants to spend and I'd say Grandad or x (someone who gave her christmas/birthday money) had sent her some (if it wont cause any problems with other children).

I wouldn't just take her to the shop with £150 and let her spend it, but I'd let her use it to buy things she wants iyswim.

VerySmallSqueak · 28/12/2013 20:31

Letting them spend it all is the way they learn that when it's gone it's gone.
Making mistakes is how they suss out that they need to ask themselves exactly how much they want something.
Let her do it! If we micromanage the way our kids spend money that has been given to them with the intention that they spend it,they miss a valuable learning experience.

Mitzi50 · 28/12/2013 20:34

My DC have always had to put 50% of any money into savings account which was very unpopular at times. They are now 16 and 17 and have several thousand each which is a very nice nest egg.

TeaOneSugar · 28/12/2013 20:34

DD blew about £80 on sky landers this week, it was her birthday and Christmas money so why wouldn't she spend it on what she wanted, surely if family and friends wanted it to go onto her savings account they'd have given the money to me and said so.

She still learned something about how expensive bits of plastic are, had to make choices etc.

Audilover · 28/12/2013 20:38

My DC cottoned on to having to put some of their birthday and Christmas money into savings account.
They now ask for vouchers! Xmas Grin

ImperialBlether · 28/12/2013 20:46

She's only six and has had loads of Christmas and birthday presents, according to the OP.

I can't believe so many people are saying she should just go and spend the lot in one go.

I've no idea how much the things she wants are - any ideas what the total would be?

Annunziata · 28/12/2013 20:53

She's only 6 though. How many adults get a lot of money and say, oh, I'm buying a house and a car and a holiday and then a few days later think about it and change their mind?

Plus, she wants 2 things because her sister does. That doesn't really mean she wants them for herself.