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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let her spend it all??

170 replies

macdoodle · 28/12/2013 19:33

My DD2 is 6 today. She has had loads of xmas and birthday presents. Money mainly from an elderly grandfather unable to shop, and has in total from both xmas and birthday, £150.
She wants to buy specifically, a Build-a-Bear (she didnt get one for xmas, has DD1's old ones, and her half sister got one), she wants a Frozen doll from the disney shop (likewise half sister got one), and bizarrely she wants "furry crocs" (the shoes, she loves her summer crocs).
We are going to go into town next week so she can spend her money.
AIBU to let her spend it all??

OP posts:
HappyMummyOfOne · 28/12/2013 20:55

I stopped giving gift vouchers to children after learning on here that people spent them on household items or other children rather than letting the intended child spend them. Thinking twice about cash now (on the rare occasion i give it) as its meant for the child to chose their own gift not for the parents to take and save.

I had a lot of presents as an adult, by that theory DH should take my christmas money away and bank it Hmm

GoldenGytha · 28/12/2013 20:55

No idea how much Crocs cost Imperial but a Frozen doll is £15, and a bear/animal from Build A Bear will be about £19 (without clothes) and prices for clothes cost from £5 upwards.

But it's the DD's money, so I would have no problem in letting her spend the lot, it was meant for presents, not for saving.

Bogeyface · 28/12/2013 20:56

Well a basic build a bear with one outfit can come in at £20+ loads more if you get the fancier bears, fancy outfits, accessories etc. You could easily spend £50 in there without blinking (which is why we never have been in!).

As PP have said, having money, blowing it and then having none is a good lesson to learn about prioritising your spending. Also, she isnt talking about letting her spaff it all on headbands and glitter, she wants specific things which tbh, wont leave her much change from £100.

curlew · 28/12/2013 21:01

My late FIL always used to give money to his grandchildren for birthdays. Then he discovered that one of his dils used to make them put it in the bank "for when you're grown up". After that, he used to take them on a special shopping trip and they used to come home with bags and bags of plastic crap. My dd is 18, and she still happily reminisces about " going to Argos with granddad" and he's been dead 10 years!

FunkyBoldRibena · 28/12/2013 21:02

That's not going to cost £150, surely? Get those and put the rest aside for her to spend when she wants different things during the year.

Dogonabeanbag · 28/12/2013 21:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

delusionindex · 28/12/2013 21:12

It is money in order to buy a gift, not money for savings

Did the OP specifically say that as I can't see it anywhere, if there's no other information my default assumption is that the money is the gift, what happens after that isn't specified. I don't see how saving money is any less valuable than buying gifts, both are valid presents for a young child.

£150 just sounds a lot to me for a 6 year old to go out and splurge on themselves, maybe I'm just from a more humble background than most here though. Someone else said "life's too short". Really - for a 6 year old?

ImperialBlether · 28/12/2013 21:15

So when there have been threads on here with people saying what they've spent on their child's Christmas presents, everyone has agreed that they needn't go mad.

Now, people are recommending that the OP lets her six year old child blow £150 on extra presents after having loads of Christmas and birthday presents?

Has everyone gone mad?

peggyundercrackers · 28/12/2013 21:18

I would let her spend it as the money was given to her so she could do what she wanted to with it - if she wanted to spend it all that's fine, if she wanted to save it that would be equally fine. we spend all money given at Christmas and birthday on gifts, that's what its meant for - we save up money each month so its not a big deal spending money given at birthday and Christmas on gifts rather than saving it.

Squeakygate · 28/12/2013 21:21

I would encourage her to save some and spend some.

nicky2512 · 28/12/2013 21:22

DS got quite a lot of Christmas and birthday money this week. We went out today and he bought 4 books, some accessories for his trainset and a tablet. It was his money and that was what he wanted (and he had loads for Christmas). I don't mind because they were sensible things and he is 8 and understands that when it is spent it is spent. I think it would be different if you were going out and just letting her randomly buy anything she sees. Like DS, she seems to know what she wants. The joy of birthday money is getting to go out and buy stuff they wouldn't normally be getting!

SuckItAndSee · 28/12/2013 21:23

i'd let her, as long as she has had a good long think about what she wants, rather than because it's burning a hole in her pocket. it's her money, after all.

IME nothing teaches good saving habits better than having spent all your money, and then later realising you could have put it to better use. I think the earlier they make these mistakes the better, and that this is better than enforcing saving. it's not like she won't be able to pay the rent next month if she overindulges at Build a Bear.

ImperialBlether · 28/12/2013 21:23

But Peggy, a six year old child doesn't have a clue what £150 is worth. You could tell her that's what a Barbie cost and she'd believe you. She's surely not the best judge of what to spend.

HappyMummyOfOne · 28/12/2013 21:26

DS had a lot of presents as well as some vouchers and cash. They were given to him as presents and therefore upto him what he does with them. I dont see the relevance of what others gave or what we as parents spent.

Thankfully i gave actual presents and only one cash gift this year but i know the person will actually let the child spend it. Knowing now that some parents dont, i will be vary wary which is a shame as its lovely as a child to go shopping and chose whatever you like.

onetiredmummy · 28/12/2013 21:26

Half into savings and half to spend.

Olbasoil · 28/12/2013 21:27

I think its to much to spend, I wouldn't spend £150 on my 6 year old anyway. I would encourage my dd to choose one thing she really wanted and that would be it. The rest of the money would be put into her savings account.

ClaimedByMe · 28/12/2013 21:28

Let her spend it she has the rest of her life to worry about budgeting/saving/saving.

Whereisegg · 28/12/2013 21:29

My dc have to bank £5 of every £25 they get BUT they always get cash off the same family members who are aware of this rule, and I always offer to buy and wrap the dc something to the total value of their money if the giver would prefer.

I think looking at summer toys is a great idea from a pp.

Original poster
macdoodle · 28/12/2013 21:35

Thanks all, was/am unsure as it seems so much. However, because her birthday is so close to xmas, some dont seem to bother much with her birthday.
Some back story if it helps.
The bulk is from an elderly grampy, her nan (his wife, my XH's parents), was much beloved and spoilt the children especially at xmas. She died suddenly and unexpectedly a year ago, so this is the 1st xmas with no sack of presents from nanny. Grampy is not really a shopper, and a £100 is from him - with the message "to buy what she wants". I'd feel mean not letting her spend it.
The half sister is very close to her in age, and got to spend xmas with daddy. We/I bought the Build-a- Bear for her, and she was quite upset that I hadnt got one for her. I foolishly thought as she had inherited her older sisters bears, she wouldnt want her own. Silly.
She is very determined in exactly what she wants. Its not just spending it on tat for the sake of it. I think we will go and have a lovely day, and buy what she wants, anything left, we will save.
Build-a-Bear and Disney are not going to be the cheapest shops.

OP posts:
nicky2512 · 28/12/2013 21:54

Its hers to spend!! Have a lovely time both of you.

GoldenGytha · 28/12/2013 21:56

delusion

I'm from a very humble background, and even now I have very little money, I spent about £30 on each of my DC, and very little on Christmas food, certainly no extras or luxuries, I'm on disability benefits and can't afford them, but I would still have let my DC spend their money as they wanted.

They're 22 and 20 now, so the point is moot,

macdoodle

Have a lovely day shopping with your DD!

trice · 28/12/2013 22:04

I would let her have a bear and a doll. But not £150 worth. Save some to spend later in the year on special days out perhaps? Seems a waste to blow the lot on tat.

trice · 28/12/2013 22:04

I would let her have a bear and a doll. But not £150 worth. Save some to spend later in the year on special days out perhaps? Seems a waste to blow the lot on tat.

nkf · 28/12/2013 22:06

I wouldn't. I think windfalls should be divided between spend and save.

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2013 22:10

Yes I would let her spend it all because she knows exactly what she wants.

The only thing I don't let my kids do is fritter it all away on nothing

At least your DD will have 3 much wanted things to show for her money.

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