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AIBU?

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Original poster

Space Invader! Was I unreasonable and over reacting?

294 replies

LittlePeaPod · 22/12/2013 11:53

Just really irritated and I understand that I probably may have been unreasonable and maybe I did over react. So please tell me if I was.

Currently 38+3 with our first. I am fed up, irritable, tired and just want our DD here. I normally go to the same connivance supermarket chain (one of the small shops) mid week if we need anything.

The last four/five times I have been, one of the female employees has taken it upon herself to rub my tummy whilst saying "ohhhh you are nearly there love". Angry. She comes from nowhere so every single time its been totally unexpected. Well, I snapped this time and in front of everyone by the tiles (t was busy) said "will you stop touching me. I am not public property and to be frank I am sick to the back teeth of you touching me every time I come here. Are you normally this much of a space invader. It's rude". She went bright red and wondered off looking very embarrassed.

Was I unreasonable embarrassing her in front of so many people? I wonder if everyone that saw thought I was over reacting and a bit irrational.

OP posts:
Original poster
LittlePeaPod · 22/12/2013 20:39

Yousay maybe I will be or maybe I wont be one of thise mothers but I will find out in 9 days time. Grin

OP posts:
DamnBamboo · 22/12/2013 20:40

No, not obvious. What about a hug? It's not sensitive, but would some see that as personal? A kiss on the cheek in greeting?

People clearly have different views here... that's kind of the point.

This reminds of the rule changes that meant nursery staff couldn't comfort little kids, when they hurt themselves as they weren't allowed to hug them Hmm

neffi · 22/12/2013 20:41

Try this.

"I'm sorry I was so rude to you yesterday but I really don't like you touching my bump and I'd rather you didn't do it again"

Regain some dignity, because at the moment you've made yourself look very rude and there's no excuse for it, not even being 38 weeks pregnant.

Coldlightofday · 22/12/2013 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheWitTank · 22/12/2013 20:42

Assault and molestation??!! This thread is beyond ridiculous and bordering on the hysterical in places. I particularly like the bits where it's implied that everyone who said the OP is being unreasonable is now a bump grabbing, sexual assaulting molester who lets men treat them like a piece of meat. Even though not one person has agreed she should have been touching the OP. Fucking hell, let's get the shop bitch arrested and charged with assault, along with getting her the sack and making her feel like total shit shall we? Some perspective needed here I think. She very obviously wasn't out to hurt or upset anyone. Yes, she was wrong. Of course she was! We ALL do stupid shit sometimes. You didn't tell her (although you claim to "tell it like it is") which you acknowledge was wrong. She didn't read your body signals correctly -presumably as she was whizzing past she didn't have time to notice-so thought you didn't mind and carried on. A mistake. Hardly crime of the century or requiring you to rip her a new one. Done now though, she feels like crap, you feel happy and vilified, job done. I'm sure she won't be going anywhere near you again -in fact I'm sure the whole staff will be giving you a wide berth from now on!

TheMaw · 22/12/2013 20:43

You're right. I'm trying to get you to be a decent person and do the decent thing. But I see it's pointless. I'll say one more thing - Neffi's response is spot on.

I'm out.

Original poster
LittlePeaPod · 22/12/2013 20:44

neffi I won't be saying that and I don't believe I have lost any dignity. I know you won't agree with that but that's how I feel.

coldlight agreed and having read your perspective I do wonder..

OP posts:
Original poster
LittlePeaPod · 22/12/2013 20:46

TheMaw IMO she should have done the decent thing and apologised for touching me inappropriately as far as I am concerned. So yes it's pointless trying to get me to do something I wont do.

OP posts:
BlastOff · 22/12/2013 20:46

I think people are suggesting it would polite to apologise for the way you spoke to her, for using humiliating language, such as space invader. Not for the sentiment of what you were saying. It's subtlety, but importantly, different.

I feel extremely sad for the woman, who really didn't deserve your treatment of her.

In particular, I feel sad that you seem to think you've taught her a lesson.

neffi · 22/12/2013 20:48

Really? I'd have been mortified personally but whatever, you carry on, safe in your warm righteous glow.

Original poster
LittlePeaPod · 22/12/2013 20:50

I don't believe I said I taught her a lesson. I said I am glad she probably won't do it again.

OP posts:
Coldlightofday · 22/12/2013 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DamnBamboo · 22/12/2013 20:52

OP, you sound like a bit of a nightmare to be honest.

I do wonder... WTAF?

So if you feel you've been so hard done by, phone the police. Please do, let us know what they say and tell us what they decide to do about it. Can't wait to hear.

DamnBamboo · 22/12/2013 20:53

We've done the bum-touching thing cold

How can anybody compare bump-touching to sexually motivated physical harassment? How!

BlastOff · 22/12/2013 20:54

What's the difference? Genuine question.

StanleyLambchop · 22/12/2013 20:55

In particular, I feel sad that you seem to think you've taught her a lesson.

That is exactly how I am reading your post. Good old you, teaching her a lesson, she needs to learn..........

Well, you may find that other staff in the shop are reluctant to engage with you on any level now. Maybe they won't even meet your eye. I imagine it will be very uncomfortable for everyone. But hey, you taught her a lesson right?

Original poster
LittlePeaPod · 22/12/2013 20:55

Damn I think you are going a bit far with the police post. Where did hating come from? Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
LittlePeaPod · 22/12/2013 20:56

That should be "where did hat one come from?"

OP posts:
Original poster
LittlePeaPod · 22/12/2013 20:56

That to hat. iPhones.

OP posts:
Coldlightofday · 22/12/2013 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChasedByBees · 22/12/2013 21:00

Meh, so you snapped at her, but she was being very invasive. I wouldn't apologise either (but I'd be likely to snap the first time TBH).

DamnBamboo · 22/12/2013 21:00

You seem to imply that your experience is like the bum-touching scenario described on this page. The latter of which would justifiably warrant a call to the police (i.e I do wonder...)

Cold don't apologise - not trying to impose my views, just highlighting that it has been discussed.

kali110 · 22/12/2013 21:00

The wit agree with you!think whole shop will be avoiding her from now on.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 22/12/2013 21:01

Personally, I think it's an infringement of personal space to touch someone's bump without asking. But i think it's on the ludicrous side of ridiculous to describe this situation as assault or molestation or equate it to having your arse pinched.
I'm sure you didn't mean to be quite so eye wateringly rude op.
I mean, I'm still wincing and I wasn't there.

All the best with the baby.

Coldlightofday · 22/12/2013 21:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.