Space Invader! Was I unreasonable and over reacting?

[LittlePeaPod]

Just really irritated and I understand that I probably may have been unreasonable and maybe I did over react. So please tell me if I was.

Currently 38+3 with our first. I am fed up, irritable, tired and just want our DD here. I normally go to the same connivance supermarket chain (one of the small shops) mid week if we need anything.

The last four/five times I have been, one of the female employees has taken it upon herself to rub my tummy whilst saying "ohhhh you are nearly there love". . She comes from nowhere so every single time its been totally unexpected. Well, I snapped this time and in front of everyone by the tiles (t was busy) said "will you stop touching me. I am not public property and to be frank I am sick to the back teeth of you touching me every time I come here. Are you normally this much of a space invader. It's rude". She went bright red and wondered off looking very embarrassed.

Was I unreasonable embarrassing her in front of so many people? I wonder if everyone that saw thought I was over reacting and a bit irrational.

OP, honestly ring the police.
They haven't got proper crimes to be investigating and aren't at all busy... I would be interested to see where you stand legally on this.

Over and out, got more wrapping to do.

Peace out people and good will to all!

cold then investigate it a little more. set up a petition if need be.

Initiate the change you want to see.

It's ridiculous Because some bloke pinching your bum is making unwanted sexually motivated contact. There's a predatory element that can be or seem quite threatening.
A woman in a shop touching your gravid abdomen and makes obviously well meaning comments of interest in your unborn baby doesn't convey the same (or anywhere near similar) kind of intent or threat.
They ate not the same.
It's a bit like saying that a person with BO sitting too close on a train is akin to someone spitting at you.

It also belittles the problem of sexual molestation IMHO by suggesting that friendly but unwanted bump touching is like unwanted arese grabbing.

I don't see that they're having to control them - they're telling them to stop. Honestly, what do you think should happen then?

People have different definitions of what constitutes offensive and unwanted behaviour

Ok, now this is getting a bit far fetched..... Police??? Really??

It also belittles the problem of sexual molestation IMHO by suggesting that friendly but unwanted bump touching is like unwanted arese grabbing

^

This

Well put Thereal -I was trying to think of a comparison and that's spot on (the BO/spit).

yes, of course it's far-fetched but the notion that you have deeply wronged, similar to sexual harassment seem to resonate far better with you than that which many of us have said in terms of it being an ill-judged friendly 'pat'
Phone the cops if you think it's that bad!

have been deeply wronged

Regardless of my situation I really do not agree with the principle that "the onus is on a victim

You're not a victim OP. I realise that adopting victim status is another way of you trying to prove you're right, but, well, you're just not a victim.

I'm pointing out that is is ridiculous to say that unless you have not told someone not to physically touch you, you have in some way given them permission

Now that's not what I said is it?

Damn when did I say I was deeply wronged? Or is that something you have assumed? I said I was really irritated.

And different ppl / communities have different codes and expectations around personal space. So whilst my dh (stiff upper lip MC English) is only just comfortable with an arms-length handshake, one of his ILs is from a country where double cheek kissing is the norm.
He has "allowed" twenty years of slobbering and it would be a bit unreasonable of him to now claim he was being molested by his IL at family gatherings.

Ha you need to get over yourself OP, you sound very precious. I'm wondering how you'll react when someone touches your baby.

You were rude and you know it. If you treat your RL friends in the way you treated that poor woman then of course they agree with you! Gain some perspective from this thread, there have been some very wise words.

nauticant I never said I was a victim. I said I didn't agree with that principle.

Oh my goodness. Really, OP? You sound delightful and nauseatingly belligerent. I had the occasional well-meaning, eccentric, lady touch my (three) bumps. It doesn't cause any harm and I think they are just trying to convey a sense of sisterhood, albeit in an overly-familiar manner. Calm down...being pregnant doesn't entitle you to act like a nasty jerk. No need to say anything AT ALL. So rude. She was trying to be NICE and she didn't hurt you or threaten to harm you or your baby.

Ok, cold what do you suggest the law should be.

Woman A feels is on the receiving end of unwanted physical contact at work but nobody ever sees it happen.

She does not tell Person X that it is unwanted.

Nobody ever sees any of this happen.

What do you suggest should happen in these circumstances.

Pans I have already said how I will react if some stranger you touches my baby earlier in the thread.

Therealamandaclarke according to colds view that would be harassment, simply because he doesn't like it.

The person with BO is actively doing something. They have neglected to adhere to a widely accepted octal convention that you don't get on a commuter train without wadding our pits and putting on some APD
Most ppl find that offensive.

Because everytime someone mentions sexual harassment - you latch onto it and say you see where they are coming from.

I would feel deeply wrong if I had been sexually harassed, that's for sure.