To have pushed this woman's hand away?

[SparkleSoiree]

Earlier in the week we stayed in a hotel en route to elsewhere for a couple of days.

At breakfast in the hotel it was just myself and my DD(6) who has Autistic Spectrum Disorder and Sensory Processing Disorder. One of the traits is that she can't bear to be touched by people and gets very rigid, defensive and anxious when people do touch her. We don't receive affection from DD for this reason.

The waitress came to the table and asked us what would we like for breakfast. DD was still thinking and I was slowly running through the options with her showing her pictures off of the menu. The waitress then started to run her fingers through DD's hair from her fringe backwards asking what she would like to eat. At this point (without thinking) I immediately put my hand on hers and brushed it off of DD's head. She looked shocked and taken aback and I said "Please don't do that, she doesn't like it."

I have never had to do it before but the waitress was clearly offended as somebody else took over at our table but was I being unreasonable in the way I approached it? I am still trying to figure out how to advocate for my DD when out and about as she is non-verbal when out in public with strangers but I don't want to offend people because they cannot see she is Autistic and don't mean to offend, I'm sure.

WIBU?

Sparkle..A girl in my DD's class is very like your DD..lots of screaming. .sensitivity..hitting head off things..resists touch. .but on last few months ..she is 7.5..she has started to cuddle staff and tolerate more. Don't give up. The change in this wee girl is amazing in last year.

In that case, yes it was you/us then. FWIW, although I noticed, I don't think you over reacted at all, you weren't rude as far as I noticed. I'm sure the waitress was just being friendly, all the staff there were very friendly, but it's going too far to actually touch someone else's child like that IMO.

(In case you're wondering, we were the largish family, my son has Downs Syndrome)

I know it's difficult, she was I'd touching your dd the way she did, but I do tell people if necessary that dd has asd, so that people are aware.

YWNBU. I don't think Parents should have to explain themselves in situations like this. If she got offended. She will get over it. As long as DD is okay that's a that matters. What you said was fine it doesnt need an explanation.