to have refused this present for dd

[happydutchmummy]

Dd godmother came round tonight to drops off Christmas presents. She excitedly whispered to me when she came in that she'd bought a rocking horse for dd.

However we already have a rocking horse, it hardly ever comes out of the toy cupboard and it takes up masses of space. We do not need or want another rocking horse so I suggested she gives it to another child or returns it to the store for a refund.

My friend was really upset at me not wanting it, said she couldn't easily return it as the store she got it from is miles away, it was expensive, she doesn't know any other little girls, she was sooooo looking forward to seeing dd face as she opened her present, etc. It ended up being a huge guilt trip to refuse it.

Should I just have accepted it to spare her feelings, --even though it will just end up in the attic and never get used- or would you have refused it to up?

The money had already been spent. Nothing was gained.

It's not a waste anyway as I am sure once it was kept for a period it could have been passed on.

Unless, it's going to be put out to pasture

I think because it is such a big gift...the gift buyer has spent a bit of money. Is it not considered polite or reasonable to say:

' 'Friend' that is a lovely gorgeous gift, and I can see why you've picked it out but DD already has a rocking horse. Would it be possible to exchange it?' then leave it for them to chose something else (with or without guidance)

I would be gutted if I ;d spent moeny for sometign to sit int he cupboard.

Is this not why shops offer goft receipts and people put them with presents. I think maybe I am a bit biased as in out family growing up we didnt have much so every goft had to count IYKWIM. So even now my DB and DM are all comfortable we always check arounf November what DC's are collecting into, what main presents are. Generally incluse some surprises too.

There is always....... eBay........

Sell it on to Tesco..

correct your own spellings to read im v fed up with thhis key board

just ride this one out OP

Never mind, OP, she probably won't bother next year!

Give it to hoho!

"Ride this one out" snigger.

hmm antler red nose rent a rockin horse

Hoho thank you for seeing my point.

outraged yes she's wasted her money but rather than it being a total waste she can return the horse or give it to a loving home. If I'd kept it then it would continue to be a waste of money.

Thank you Harold!
I thought maybe I was being too subtle there..

Are you actually Dutch happydutch ? Because apparently Dutch people have a reputation for being rude blunt and plain speaking, at least that's how things can be perceived by English speakers. Allegedly. Cultural differences with your friend?

Yes I do think you were pretty mean. Your friend was a bit foolish not to check with you first, but she was being generous and was excited about giving the gift to your DD, and you completely poured cold water on her! Do you not value her friendship?

I thought you said it would be difficult to return? It's no more likely to go to a good home than if you had accepted it and given it to a good home. One way she has hurt feelings, the other way she doesn't. Either way the horse could be re-homed.

Nowhere does the op say she was blunt or rude .
She explained her reasons and obviously the Godmother was a bit put out.

Have you seen The Godfather film?

You do know that you'll wake up in the morning with the hirses head in bed with you ..

So the child has no gift now...

She knew what her GD would like/need but chose to ignore it so she could show off get something more 'special'.

Why should you have to live with another huge toy cramping your room?

Some (very generous and very kind of course) family members turned up with a trampoline they'd bought the DD's and we felt we couldn't say no seeing as the DDs were right there listening and we hate how much light it cuts out of the kitchen, especially as they hardly use the bloody thing.

We've turned down a kitchen table they said they were getting us as well as a trip away as a Christmas present this year.

I do feel bad saying no, but not as bad as I would having to live with things I'm not happy doing/having. They even tried to put pressure on me to go on the trip away, I had to just keep on firmly but politely saying no. It got a bit odd in the end, like they thought because they liked it then I should too.

HoHole well the OP doesn't tell us exactly how she said it, did she? Besides, no one normally perceives their own behaviour as blunt or rude, although the person on the receiving end might!

If she said "FFS where the hell am I going to put that monstroisity?" Then, yes, I will agree she was a tad harsh.

Well she hasn't said she didn't say that....

OP I think we need a transcript of the actual conversation please.

HoHole well that would be extreme! But to refuse a gift given with love/generosity is always going to come across badly, no matter how it's worded.

Oi sleepywombat! I have first dibs on the unwanted horse