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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have refused this present for dd

191 replies

happydutchmummy · 21/12/2013 23:32

Dd godmother came round tonight to drops off Christmas presents. She excitedly whispered to me when she came in that she'd bought a rocking horse for dd.

However we already have a rocking horse, it hardly ever comes out of the toy cupboard and it takes up masses of space. We do not need or want another rocking horse so I suggested she gives it to another child or returns it to the store for a refund.

My friend was really upset at me not wanting it, said she couldn't easily return it as the store she got it from is miles away, it was expensive, she doesn't know any other little girls, she was sooooo looking forward to seeing dd face as she opened her present, etc. It ended up being a huge guilt trip to refuse it.

Should I just have accepted it to spare her feelings, --even though it will just end up in the attic and never get used- or would you have refused it to up?

OP posts:
K8Middleton · 22/12/2013 00:34

Do you have a wood burner op? Bwahahahahaha

ashamedoverthinker · 22/12/2013 00:35

OMFG - that is just ridiculous swapping rocking horses around...I mean its one thing checking you bog is clean for visitors without having to check what breed of rocking horse is out for a cantor

OutragedFromLeeds · 22/12/2013 00:35

You could have just accepted it and the told your friend and family that DD has developed a terrible fear of horses so you've had to get rid of both of them but you're sure the children at the women's shelter/hospital/playgroup will really value them.

Tapiocapearl · 22/12/2013 00:35

You should have accepted it then sold your horse on and kept hers

ashamedoverthinker · 22/12/2013 00:36

Well no the point is autumn have you bought with blinding ignorance or not?

OutragedFromLeeds · 22/12/2013 00:38

'My DD has too many rocking horses' is a brilliant first world problem though Grin.

AutumnStarOfWonder · 22/12/2013 00:38

Erm. I don't think so, ashamed. But then your definition of blinding ignorance and mine appear to be somewhat different.

HoHolepew · 22/12/2013 00:41

Is it one with rockers or the gliding type?
I always wanted the gliding type.
But I'm not really fussed either way .

WilsonFrickett · 22/12/2013 00:42

Our friends were the first of our crowd to have dc, years ago. DH and I turned up for baby's first Christmas with a blow up car, massive, gigantic thing with its own pump. Which was received with grace and joy and delight. Now I have a child I shudder...

JingleHumps · 22/12/2013 00:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HaroldTheGoat · 22/12/2013 00:44

Yes I was just about to say i bought the most inappropriate things post DC. Newborn jeans etc. They have always been accepted with good grace and if they were swapped or hidden I have never known about it!

Original poster
happydutchmummy · 22/12/2013 00:45

Xmas Smile gift martyrs

outragedGm lives quite far away and doesn't come round that often so it's possible she hasn't seen dd rocking horse out, or saw it a long time ago. I circulate the big toys that live in the cupboard under the stairs as otherwise my living room would be filled with a space hopper, a scooter, a rocking horse, a ride on car, etc and there would be no actual space to play. When the rocking horse is out it gets played with for about 5 minutes max before being ignored.

OP posts:
HaroldTheGoat · 22/12/2013 00:46

Maybe it's lonely? Now it's got a mate. You might even get a foal.

ashamedoverthinker · 22/12/2013 00:47

omg pride in the crappy gift giving now...

Maybe autumn just maybe..

Topaz25 · 22/12/2013 00:47

It's an awkward situation, rude to refuse a gift but on the other hand I wouldn't want a friend to waste so much money and your DD's reaction would probably not have been the Kodak moment her Godmother was expecting since she already has a rocking horse she hardly plays with. But since your friend can't return the rocking horse, maybe the old rocking horse could be put out to pasture given to charity to make space in the stable cupboard for the new one?

HaroldTheGoat · 22/12/2013 00:48

Most gifts are bought with the best intentions.

Not blinding ignorance. Sometimes people get things wrong, which is where a bit of tact and diplomacy comes in.

JingleHumps · 22/12/2013 00:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ashamedoverthinker · 22/12/2013 00:49

Oh well, I can see how that would have reasonably happened. I suppose my friends all live within visiting distance and we have regular meet ups.

But I still think given that she should have asked.

ashamedoverthinker · 22/12/2013 00:51

Maybe jingle who knows I smoothered them in brandy butter, maybe I gave them a gift they werent happy with and they have been smouldering in martyredom ever since

HaroldTheGoat · 22/12/2013 00:53

Ashamed honestly, do you reject every gift that comes your way that isn't to your taste? They are going to dry up soon you know!

OutragedFromLeeds · 22/12/2013 00:56

'But I still think given that she should have asked.'

Is anyone disagreeing with that? She was a bit silly to buy a big, expensive gift without asking, but she wasn't rude or blindingly ignorant and she didn't deserve to be treated the way she was. She made a mistake, like every other person on the planet has done at one time or another. It doesn't hurt to be nice to people, particularly when they're your friend and godmother to your child.

brokenhearted55a · 22/12/2013 01:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HoHolepew · 22/12/2013 01:05

But its a waste of money!! A lot of money. Not Playdough Barber Shop type money.

OutragedFromLeeds · 22/12/2013 01:07

Now she's wasted her money and been upset by her friend.

Surely, wasting your money and having a really grateful friend is better?

I don't think it's a two negatives makes a positive situation.

Original poster
happydutchmummy · 22/12/2013 01:09

I explained to her why I didn't want to give a home to another rocking horse in our stable cupboard under the stairs . Yes, she made a mistake and I ended up refusing her gift. I'm not the one saying she was rude to buy this gift for my dd. however I don't think I treated her appallingly by saying no to something that dd doesn't want, need or enjoy.

I normally accept gifts politely even if they are inappropriate, but I felt I couldn't accept something this big when it was unwanted.

OP posts: